If Asian women don't want Asian men, what happens when they have a son? I happen. This is the blog of a half Chinese Eurasian son of a white man and a Chinese woman.
Use this blog as an example of how troubled Hapas can be, some worse than others. I wrote this essay about two years ago, at the peak of a very, very damaging breakdown. Since then, thanks to a supportive community and a small group of Eurasians putting their brains together, I have transformed this blog into a rational discussion of the dangers of hatred, the reality of race relations even in romance, and even discovered the source of why I was so crazy; my older posts (if you go back to the beginning) can be used as a representation of the kind of damage that was done to my mind, and the kind of psychosis that can be found in mixed young men without proper intervention. If I hadn’t started this blog, I would likely now be dead or imprisoned, and ironically by writing I found the source of the very unsettling problems I had no more than two years ago; hence I won’t change the title. If you don’t believe that I am Hapa, continue reading. I try to present the issues as honestly as I can.
Imagine being told you were worthless from birth – by your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks Asian. Except you have a white father.
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall, red-haired, bearded white man.
This man was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is socially conservative, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated).
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism, and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. My parents’ relationship was loveless and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went.
Most of the time Asian women marry white men because they don’t like Asian men.
In fact the majority of people don’t like Asian men.
Admit it: your wife / girlfriend is with you because she does not like Asian men. She is only attracted to tall white men.
They will say it’s because of behavior / feminism, but Asian male behavior (jealousy) is because Asian women don’t like the way Asian men look.
Asian women don’t like Asian men for the same reason white women don’t like Asian men. They are Asian.
A half Asian son realizes this. He realizes that he is Asian too.
Along with the millions of Asian women around him disliking Asian men, his own mother does too. Can we please just drop the charade and admit this is true?
If he looks Asian, then, well. Welcome to a life of bullying, confusion, resentment, depression, rejection from both sides, and perpetual low self esteem seeing Asian women like his mother paired up millions of times over with white men – yet he looks Asian.He will be asked to take pride in the fact that his, and all his friends’ fathers are white, and asked to deal with the stereotypes of White men / Asian women and unable to distinguish between good and bad couplings. He will be born into an anti-Asian society, look Asian, and recognize that even his own mother valued white men over him.
I’m sorry. Please, please, please stop lying about this.
———–
Footnotes:
“But half Asian babies are cute.”
And half Asian babies become Asian men when they grow up.
“Half Asian men are hot.”
They’re not all hot, and people won’t care that they’re half. Besides, you believed white men hottest. You turned down hot Asian men for white men, so why would anyone want a hot half Asian man?
“I know hot half Asian men.”
When you figure out how to guarantee your son is 6’3″, let me know. And after all, you wanted a white man, not a half Asian man.
“I know Asian men with white girlfriends.”
You know one or two, while you know five times as many Asian women with white boyfriends.
It’s a yes or no question. Does your loved one hate Asian men? Yes, or no.
Will you son be Asian? Yes or no. Simple question.
2016 update: I stopped, then started to continue to add people to this list because the news keeps aggregating and aggregating. 2016 has seen seven national news stories featuring Eurasians – every single one with a white father and Asian mother.
Does anyone want to explain why Virtually. Every. Single. Eurasian. Who. Commits. A. Crime. Has. A. White. Father?
Could it maybe have to do with the fact that SOME of the people who get involved in these relationships are mentally unstable, hateful people?
That our parents present us with a highly politicized relationship involving the superiority of white men, passive aggressive myths about Eurasian beauty and abilities, and psychosexual microaggressions designed to demean Asian people? While my father never badmouthed Asian men – I can only imagine being the son of raceplayers, or women who make a show of their distaste for Asian blood. And I had it bad.
Not all, of course, but let’s be honest that there are many Asian women who chase white men out of a passionate hatred for Asian men. From the Sarong Party Girls, to the LA valley girls who dye their hair… where does this all lead besides some of us being in a really bad place?
I’m not exaggerating at all. I guarantee you in 2016 we will see at least 30-40 more crimes / displays of mental illness committed by Eurasians, all of whom have Asian mothers and white fathers.
Don’t blame anyone but our upbringing. We are the Asian looking sons of white men. I think that’s about all I can say about that. Read More »
You’re so proud of being Asian yet your own mother fetishized White men – believed white men to be far superior to Asian men, and believed white features to be more desirable on a male?
How can you be proud of being Asian and Asian culture, when there wasn’t even a single Asian male that was considered good enough to produce your life?
Your features are Asian. Your eyes might be Asian. Or your hair texture. Or your body. You are half-Asian, yet Asian women, and white women, continue to reject Asian men in favor of tall, powerful White Western men.
Oh yes, let’s be proud that:
95% of our fathers were white.
Our mothers chased tall bearded white guys.
Our moms were bar girls, race climbers, status chasers, mentally ill, superficial, cruel, ex-prostitutes, mentally ill, money-obsessed, spent their whole life fetishizing white male features, obsessed with Europe, etc., etc.
We look Asian. We are “Hapa,” meaning that in the eyes of our own mothers and millions like them, and millions of people around the world – we are upgraded Asians. We have white blood, yet were are nowhere near the level of attractiveness of the white movie stars that our mothers drooled over.
So they gave us a label: Hapa, which is nothing more than a clever attempt at giving us self-esteem, as if we were best of both worlds, or a beautiful blend – yet all it means is that we were infused with the blood of a white man, and always a white man. They point us at Hapas and make comments about our tall noses or big eyes, and if you don’t have those features, then you’re just another inferior Asian man.
Have you noticed White women don’t search out Asian men to create “beautiful Hapas / Eurasians, or Hun Xue Er?” Because like Asian women, they desire white men, so they have no good reason to make up lies about the beauty of Eurasians. Their children will be white.
Don’t get me started on “there were just more white men around;” Asian women are deliberately ignoring Asian men, who by natural law exist in equal numbers, even in Asian countries, to pair up with white men.
40% of all Asian women deliberately exclude Asian men. Yet as the sons of these women, we’re to take pride in this?
There is very little that could convince me otherwise; maybe if there weren’t millions upon millions of them I would think it was a coincidence… but there are.
And maybe if I wasn’t turned down by Asian women with regards to my Asian heritage – I would have faith that indeed, my own mother and women in my family, were all just coincidences.
“But you get turned down because of your personality.”
Contrary to what people believe, I became like this out of anger at treated poorly, whereas until I was in my early 20’s I was well liked, popular, thousands of friends on Facebook, tall, good looking, until it became self-evident to me, through observation, careful study of online dating patterns, and personal experience, that Asian blood is problematic.
The above black woman called it two months before; I call it now. It’s going to happen again on my word… (edit: at this point, it has already, several times, as of Feb. 2016) the psychotic nature of some of these relationships is beyond inexplicable and I barely escaped it. My brother, not so much. Ironically I was able to escape the pit I was falling into by writing more on the subject. If you look at the original posts on the websites they are frantic and insane.
It frankly makes no sense at all, for a woman who spent her entire life verbally abusing, demonizing and avoiding Asian men, to be raising an Asian looking boy – particularly if her husband is complicit in the “dominance” or “creation” of the atmosphere of white supremacy that isolates his own son.
Even worse is that Asian women themselves create a nation-wide hook-up culture that severely penalizes Asian looks and then go on to raise Asian looking sons.
What I mean by that is: you can sociologize it away but at the end of the day, we have an entire landfill’s worth of crap to deal with picking up our parents’ racial baggage ON TOP OF the racism in Western society. It is not our fault. Please understand this.
On top of this, our mothers, out of desperation begin to teach their children about culture by signing them up for Karate and Mandarin lessons, when they were trying to escape it their entire lives. Only a very dense Hapa wouldn’t see that the fact that we all have white fathers is indicative of something much more… malignant.
The quote she is referring to is from the Hapa guy who motivated me to start writing on my own.
I’d love to be, but it’s this insanely ironic and even stupid proposition.
Does everyone recall how Elliot Rodger stabbed three Chinese students to death despite being half Chinese?
Did you scratch your head wondering why this happened? I’ll explain it in less than 300 words given my experiences. Frankly don’t listen to Asian women when they try to write the half Asian 混血儿 story for us.
It’s because being half Asian is just an excuse for Asian women having “white fever!” Half Asian men aren’t more attractive, white men are more attractive, and half-Asian sons are just the “best case scenario” when you have a kid.
Every time I try to look in the mirror and accept my black hair that sticks up straight, my dark eyes, my Chinese blood and my heritage, all I have to do is go outside.
I see thousands of Asian women throwing themselves at white men, talking awful shit about Asian guys on dating sites, and then I remind myself that I too have a western last name. I then think back to the times I was turned down by white AND Asian women for being half Asian.
Tell me: what pride would I take in being Asian? It’s so much easier to just identify as Russian or white or even Uzbek. Since white men are “so handsome,” why not just identify totally as white?
So whenever you hear or see Hapa mamas tearfully complaining about how their own little boys scream “I’m not Chinese!”, why the hell would we want to be part of a losing team?
Ever wonder why Nathan Adrian hardly ever talks about his Asian heritage?
Every wonder why Markiplier rarely talks about it either, despite him having a brother who looks totally Asian?
Every wonder why Markiplier is way more successful than his totally Asian looking brother?
Because ain’t nobody want to be on the losing fuckin’ team!
White father, Chinese mother. Posted on March 23rd, 2016.
“I hate my father, he’s a really, really bad person.”
“My Shanghainese family are extremely selfish.”
Father is obviously nowhere in the picture.
The girl calls herself “little princess,” yet this is probably a name given to her by the Asian women in her family, who obviously see a Eurasian child and being the monumental, soulless egotists that some Asian women are, deem her a princess – because she’s half white.
But no – they also remind her that she’s not Chinese.
Despite the fact that she looks very Asian, like most Eurasian children do. This confusion – being treated as Asian by white people, dropped off completely alone in a racist white country, and then told she’s not actually Chinese causes her immense internal pain.
Again, egotistical, sociopathic Asian women (especially from big cities) whose only goal is to gain status and integration with their white (and ALWAYS white husbands) are responsible for throwing another Eurasian down the well.
What the HELL are we supposed to do? Why do we have this horror foisted onto us?
Then there’s her dad. Obviously he’s not there. Why? Because like most Eurasians, our fathers were bottom of the barrel losers who couldn’t get white women, picked up a white worshipping Asian woman in order to pad their egos and take the easy way out of being celibate, and found out down the line that their mothers were vicious, petty people who used white men to increase their social status, to integrate into “superior white / European culture” with its beautiful accents and beautiful Parisian buildings and its afternoon tea culture, and more likely these men were incredibly racist against Asians and didn’t want the responsibility of raising a half Asian child.
White men and Asian women pairings are uniformly, and I mean uniformly, based on race and racism – the “submissive Asian woman” (submissive just means easy sex as long as you’re a white guy) and the White male. I am the son of a Chinese woman and a white man who fit this bill, and I’m not alone. There is a forum filled with thousands of us saying the same thing.
Look at the idealization of the Asian man as evidenced by the pictures on this young woman’s wall. She wants to return to Asia, to have an Asian man – a rejected Asian man – in her life in place of the sickness that her mother sought out, not giving a single FUCK about the emotional or mental wellbeing of her children.
Then there is the dressing and haircut to distance herself as far as possible from the Asian woman, the object of the father’s fetishization. Instead she seeks to replace the white male as sexual predator, the object of her intense hatred, with an Asian male – in herself. Seen it before. The product of an insane status climbing Chinese woman and an abusive, petty, and likely racist white male. If you think about how crazy the white man / Asian woman fetish dynamic is – wouldn’t you at least think that its effect on the children – having never been written about – would be HUGE?
White men and Asian women are breeding a new race of incredibly damaged, fucked up children.
And it is not our fault – we are Asian looking children born exclusively to white, racist fathers; delusional, egotistical and narcissistic Asian mothers who believe any white man is more valuable than any Asian man, and completely rejected from both sides while being told that we’re special, unique, and beautiful – even when we’re not.
Imagine if this girl was in fact a boy – what would his life be like?
Everyone on this website has been warned…. if you think about the intense fetishization and dynamics of White males / Asian women relationships, just think about the tremendous burden onto the children. Just think about it.
This is the top half-Asian website in the world. Deal with it.
“Small dick stereotypes won’t affect my son. He won’t have self esteem issues. He is better than the full Asian males my wife / girlfriend refused to see as potential partners. He will feel like a man growing up with a white father and an Asian woman who hated Asian men.”
As an Asian looking half Asian male, you have pretty limited options.
Believe your mom when she tells you you’re the most handsome, you’re a sweet little Eurasian boy, you just need to go to school to be treated as equal to white males. Ignore open racism and just “pretend” that your mother (and all her sisters) was different because she put food on your table. Become a thirty year old virgin before settling as another Asian girl’s second choice. Most Hapa males know that Asian women want a white man first, but failing that, they can get the next best thing – a substitute, counterfeit white male – a Eurasian son.
Go gay. (And take a white lover). Again, not always a conscious choice, but one that I believe may be influenced by the male child’s emasculation by birth. Imagine looking like an Asian boy watching women who look like you pretty much belong to white men, being openly supportive of a hierarchy that places big burly white men at the top, and men who look like you die alone. It can definitely influence your sexuality.
(In before one of the usual full-Asian men comes in here telling me to suck it up. Your life is entirely different. You get laid? Congrats. You don’t endure the childhoods we do, whereby you actually have the mentalities and confidence required you to push through. Many of us are literally castrated sexually, emotionally and psychologically from birth.)
American Chuathic. Yeah, WM/AW pairings are rarely about love but more about status and image.
White men and Asian women aren’t friends to other minorities, no way, no how.
It’s not a coincidence that the White man and Asian woman pairing is the most common interracial pairing in the world – and might eventually outnumber White man / White woman couples.
It’s no coincidence that I am one of millions upon millions upon millions of Eurasians with white fathers and none from the other way around.
The reason for this?
It coincides with the rise of feminism, and the rise of higher standards among White women, whereas now – average white men like my father see and saw Asian women as being a proper substitute for white women.
Asian women, to my father, were seen as being filial, family oriented, and traditional, and less promiscuous.
In fact, it might not even seem this way to the white men, but as they are exposed to more and more Asian women, they just find Asian women easier to obtain than white women – for whatever goddamn reason. And, well, Asian women are the closet thing, “plus they don’t have the attitude.”
Also because of my father’s fear of black men and his countless comments about them, Asian women are well known for avoiding black men.
So essentially the Asian woman is “The White Man From the 1950’s” wet dream – literally.
I recall my grandmother said of my father: “your father doesn’t realize that the 50’s are never coming back.”
A good example of my father’s behavior: refusing to watch movies made after the 40’s, refusing to see any movie that features a single curse in it, refusing to read any and all books written after 1850 or so (the Flappers were too much for him, I guess), believing the Jews run Hollywood, etc., etc.
Now, for the Asian woman, in finding a white man she finds herself the ability to integrate into her new home – a land she finds superior to her old one. After all, Europe, in the Asian woman’s mind, is exactly what she sees in movies, on TV, and the European man is an image she can latch onto.
Rather than settling for an average Asian man, she can settle for an average white man, milk him for money, and enjoy a white lifestyle. She gets to say she has a white husband, and Hapa kids, but don’t get it twisted: she doesn’t love her husband, never loved him, and never will love him. If any white guy reads this just ask her if she would love you if you were Asian. Is that true love? Ich don’t think so.
(Some Asian women, for whatever reason, like my mother, are almost completely soulless. These white guys don’t seem to realize that if a woman is dating outside of her race exclusively she’s probably mentally deranged or completely amoral.)
A “white lifestyle” is essentially identical to the one that used to be occupied by the white soccer mom, who for some reason, in the minds of white men like my father (i.e., most white men), became unattainable or unmanageable back then.
Essentially the Asian woman gets to pair off with the white man – and they both get something out of it. The white man gets his “traditional” Asian wife (which essentially means less promiscuous, even though knowing my Asian American cousins this is far from the truth, but with my mother, she certainly was less promiscuous and didn’t have sex with my father at all).
The Asian woman gets her “white dream life”, whiter children, her fantasy of being white and supplanting the white woman at the white man’s side. It’s not about love at all. It’s about an image: the New American Gothic. They try to give off a vibe of being happy but they’re not. After marriage my mother just completely berated my father for failing to match up with what she expected – a European Prince.
These people are NOT – and I repeat – NOT FRIENDS to other minorities. They have nothing in common with other minorities.
WM/AW is pushed as progressive. IT IS NOT. My mother and father would fill my head with stories about black people saying that I should avoid them based on what kind of clothing they were wearing because this meant that… wait for it…. they were diseased.
Essentially WM/AW is the textbook 1950’s picket house fence marriage all over again.
Never, ever, ever, rely on a Hapa son of a White man and an Asian woman to be socially responsible, ever. As I said, I tried my damndest to be as white as possible when I was younger. I even considered dyeing my hair, I posted on extremely racist white websites, I made a black girl cry by dropping the word “nigga” to one of my white friends… but I’ll get into this later.
More reason to be proud of being born from two fetishists. I don’t really care if you’re spectacularly handsome or not – it’s still really weird to have a white father and an Asian mother that look exactly like a stereotype.
We’re using an iPhone English teaching app a lot around here – (I don’t teach, my wife does) – so I hear a lot of her conversations, as well as the recorded lessons that each teacher has automatically uploaded to his or her profile after she or he is done.
This one wasn’t surprising, and was a Chinese girl (teacher) talking with another Chinese girl.
“I met my boyfriend in London.” (Surprise surprise guy is blond).
“We fells in love.”
“I tell him to move to Beijing with me.”
“Our baby will be sooo beautiful.” (Narcissism, with absolutely zero concern for the mental wellbeing of a child raised by a white dude or the concerns of us in being raised by such overbearing fetishistic weirdos.)
“But I don’t want to have baby.” (Even more narcissism, white dude is just a handbag, secondary to her… dreams, or whatever).
“My boyfriend is soooo stupid.” (Classic insulting and belittling of the white guy*).
*The last bit is interesting. I see this a lot, even with my own mother’s utter disrespect and hatred of my father. Whenever I see White men / Asian women couples – despite them swearing to be in love – there is an air of hostility involved. I really don’t know why. It might be because of the dweebish behavior of the white guys who chase Asian women, hence she doesn’t respect him, or because of any myriad number of factors that make it not about love, since it’s really not – it’s more of a fantasy. The ultimate reason is probably because it’s a matrimony of hate. Hatred of Asian men. There is really no love involved here.
Keep in mind that when you’re an Asian woman seeking out a white guy and only a white guy – literally any white guy would do – so you grow resentful of him when he doesn’t match up to your needs (your needs being: providing a white looking baby, feeling like a white Princess, or even better, actually being white, which is impossible).
I’m actually surprised that my mother never cheated on my father, but I really have no idea about this as I would have been way too young to remember anyways.
In my family there are several Asian women (all well below average looking, but in a non-sexual way, like wearing sweatpants, sweatshirts, big teeth, big jaws, constantly screaming at their father or brother) who are ALL involved with white men.
Each and every one of these white guys has something wrong with them. One is 5’5″, and this extremely neurotic old school tri-state type guy who has Giuliani era conservative beliefs. Whenever he is in the car with his wife she is literally SCREAMING at him while she is driving. (Obviously she’s driving).
The other Asian women in the family are with these guys who are either extremely, extremely awkward and mousy, despite being tall and blond, making absolutely poor money, while another is this tall guy with a speech impediment.
When at family dinners and their husbands / boyfriends aren’t there, they literally are mouthing off on them constantly, and I mean constantly, about how pathetic they are. My guess is that since a lot of these men are Jewish or otherwise such low-self esteem having weirdos, they somehow get aroused by the abuse as it possibly reminds them of their mothers.
Just reminds me of how when I was younger my mother would come to my bedside and just absolutely tear into my father (who was sleeping on the couch) about how he was such a loser, ate entire bags of chips at one time, had several phobias (I won’t list them here for fear of being doxxed).
It really makes sense, because when you are so filled with hate for yourself you become incapable of loving another person – including your white husband.
What I don’t understand is why people are so angry at what I write. You think with all the bizarre, unpredictable, loaded nature of interracial relationships that involve severe levels of fetishization and manipulation, combined with the universal hatred of Asian males – that someone like me would never pop up? You really think that a Chinese club girl or a Sarong Party Girl or a gold-digging psychopath hooking up and getting pregnant by some racist white sexpat or Charisma man – and having an Asian looking son – wouldn’t lead somewhere bad?
This girl just called my wife on an English teaching app, about ten minutes ago.
Things she just said:
She had a French passport but lived in Shanghai
That she was a 混血儿, half French, half Chinese, said her dad is French
Her dad owns Carrefour and set up the stores in Shanghai and Beijing (I just looked up Carrefour, the dude isn’t married)
Her profile picture shows a woman that is clearly 100% Han Chinese with tiny eyes.
This kind of lunatic behavior is probably the reason why so many Eurasians suffer from mental problems. If you make believe all kinds of lunatic fantastical shit about your life in the west – you probably are gonna want a white boy to help you fulfill that dream. And any white dude will do, but the closer to the tall Prince Charming ideal the better.
I’m actually being serious here.
I mean – do people like this just ride off into the sunset with their white lovers? No. They have children.
And yeah, my mom was a psycho, with a life filled with swinging knives, death threats, suicide threats, etc., etc. And yeah, anyone that delusional about reality is going to go for the thing she feels she deserves: a tall white guy.
Don’t believe me – just look at their behavior in public. Don’t seem so happy does it.
By the way, this guy Thomas Dinh Bowman just got sentenced for shooting this guy four times in the head in a road rage incident. Surprise, surprise, just like his counterpart Elliot Rodger he was also driving a Biracial Murder Wagon (BMW).
Here’s a question, why are seemingly educated, affluent Eurasians adopting the extremely violent underclass culture that our parents were so adamant against ? It’s a pretty far stretch from how they dreamed of the Eurasian master race. Drug dealing, drive by murders, stabbings, rape, all of this is coming out of, and only out of WMAW Hapas.
ort: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall, red-haired, bearded white man.
