“Proud” Hapas

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Why would a half-Asian be proud?

Proud of being white? Or proud of being Asian?

We’re expected to be proud of being Asian yet own mothers fetishized White men – believed white men to be far superior to Asian men, and believed white features to be more desirable on a male? Whenever people look at me, they make comments about my tall nose and small face – so why not just go get a full white guy? We’re like a testimony to how obsessed Asian women are with white features. Literally every time someone asks “what are you?” – and you respond with “I’m Half Chinese,” they say, “it must be your mom who is Chinese.”

Combine this with the fact that everyone hates Asian men – including white women, and Asian women themselves who view you at best as an odd looking Asian mixed minority (Uzbek, Xinjiang), or at worst, like a full Asian

How can we be proud to be half Asian, when everywhere we go we see Asian women throwing themselves at plain, basic, ugly White men – proving that Asian women really will do anything to integrate and upgrade themselves with white blood? We really are supposed to be okay with going to school, being laughed at for being a chink or a small-dicked Asian, humiliated for our Asian looks by white people, when your own mother was literally sleeping with the men who look exactly like the kind of guy saying this shit to you?

Then our mothers have the NERVE to tell us to be proud to be Asian? To be part of a race of men whose women outmarry at a rate of 50-60%? Why not just identify as white – since they are the guys who are able to walk all over Asian women, getting sex and love whenever they want with both white and Asian women – and if we identify as Asian we are putting ourselves right back in the cultural ghetto our mothers tried to escape from?

Our features are Asian. Our eyes might be Asian. Or our hair texture. Or our bodies. You we half-Asian, yet Asian women, and white women, continue to reject Asian men in favor of tall, powerful White Western men. Asian women claim that all half Asian men are beautiful – based on what they see on the internet, yet the internet only collects the most beautiful specimens. What about the half Asians who look indistinguishable from full Asians? Or the ones who look ugly, and then disappear from Asian womens’ minds?

We have to then live with the fact that Asian women around us continue to literally bow then like dogs to men like my father, racist, unemployable, unreliable white men – because they’re tall and white. And my father isn’t even that bad a guy! What about the white men who are such horrible racists that they get off on dominating Asian vagina in order to prove their superiority?

Oh yes, let’s be proud that:

  • 95% of our fathers were white.
  • Our mothers chased tall bearded white guys.
  • Our moms were bar girls, race climbers, status chasers, mentally ill, superficial, cruel, ex-prostitutes, mentally ill, money-obsessed, spent their whole life fetishizing white male features, obsessed with Europe, etc., etc.
  • Our fathers were manipulative, oftentimes racist men who used white worshipping Asian women to their benefit of finding partnership, sometimes abandoning us because they didn’t want a half Asian child.

We look Asian. We are “Hapa,” meaning that in the eyes of our own mothers and millions like them, and millions of people around the world – we are still Asians. We have white blood, yet we are nowhere near the level of attractiveness of the white movie stars that our mothers drooled over. Are there Chinese movie stars like Hu Dong who have tall noses? So why would a half-Asian be of any value – when Asian women really just want blue eyed, blond haired white men?

So they gave us a label: Hapa, which is nothing more than a clever attempt at giving us self-esteem, as if we were best of both worlds, or a beautiful blend – yet all it means is that we were infused with the blood of a white man, and always and only a white man. They point us at Hapas and make comments about our tall noses or big eyes, and if you don’t have those features, then you’re just another inferior Asian man. So I have had Asian women walking smugly with their white boyfriends look at me as if I was the enemy – even though my father is white. 

Have you noticed White women don’t search out Asian men to create “beautiful Hapas / Eurasians, or Hun Xue Er?” Because like Asian women, they desire white men, so they have no good reason to make up lies about the beauty of Eurasians. Their children will be white.

Don’t get me started on “there were just more white men around;” Asian women are deliberately ignoring Asian men, who by natural law exist in equal numbers, even in Asian countries, to pair up with white men.

A50EPtl
40% of all Asian women deliberately exclude Asian men. Yet as the sons of these women, we’re to take pride in this?

There is very little that could convince me otherwise; maybe if there weren’t millions upon millions of them I would think it was a coincidence… but there are. 

And maybe if I wasn’t turned down by Asian women with regards to my Asian heritage – I would have faith that indeed, my own mother and women in my family, were all just coincidences. 

“But you get turned down because of your personality.”

Contrary to what people believe, I became like this out of anger at treated poorly, whereas until I was in my early 20’s I was well liked, popular, thousands of friends on Facebook, tall, good looking, until it became self-evident to me, through observation, careful study of online dating patterns, and personal experience, that Asian blood is problematic.

Oh, let me guess: your parents weren’t like that, right? Nearly half of all Asian women conveniently make up myriad excuses about Asian patriarchy, yet COINCIDENTALLY Asian men are also rated as lowest on the attractiveness scale? Or maybe your mom suddenly became “very aware” of Asian culture after her kids came out looking Asian, and started backpedaling on her hate in order to prevent her child from having poor self esteem?

Which patriarchs were that? The same ones dropping nukes on Hiroshima, exterminating Jews at Auschwitz, or cutting off the hands of Congolese children?

Notice how the “excuses” for why this relationship is so frequent constantly change? First – it was that Asian men were too controlling; then, it was that Asian men were patriarchal foot-binders; then, that they were took meek, pushovers, and too nice; then, that they were too short; then, finally, after intense scrutiny, “there are just more white men around me” (despite blacks and Hispanics strongly preferring each other, even when in a minority), “that they just fell in love,” Of course they’ll tell you that – who the hell would want to turn their own son into a nihilist keenly aware of evolutionary science?

It would make no sense for a father and mother to tell their own son that race matters. 

They would do everything in their power to deny that race was the common factor in their marriage (even if they didn’t admit it), to prevent their son from coming to the same conclusions that I did.

The thing is, I used to be one of you: a proud Eurasian. My mother was long dead after getting sick from my C-section and I never saw who she really was – but in a way the differences in my parent’s ethnicity never was evident to me except in pictures and I passed as “white enough”” with an undercurrent of pride for my Asian side; but the older I get, the more Asian and I look, and I’ve been taking a good look at these couplings and their public behavior. They’re all the same; the guy is tall and really white. I don’t believe in excuses of patriarchy.

And then after Elliot Rodger, it all became evident to me – all the self doubt, self hatred, insecurity and anger I had, and plain old crazy behavior, was passed down from my mother; all of the psychotic mannerisms of both myself and my brother were the direct result of having such a hateful woman as a mother.

Your mother, Hapa, was doing it for physical reasons. You were allowed to exist only because you had a white father. How embarrassing is that? And there are millions upon millions upon millions of Asian women and white men (even the liberal anti-misogyny ones) who feel that you’re upgraded because you’re white – your white father rescued you from a hellish existence of being an Asian, and being an Asian patriarch.

Hapa men largely live in denial; they claim their mothers fell in love with their fathers despite these couples being so visible and so monstrously vitriolic towards Asian men, that you can’t go a single day without seeing them. Maybe, Hapa, your mom can take you out to Chinese food and you can pretend you actually have a culture – at least one that wasn’t one of convenience to her when she was looking for white males to partner up with.

You’re living paradoxes. Go outside and look at the uniform smugness of these couples, then remind yourself that your parents were the same. Exact. Way.

It took me 25 years to realize it after so long of utter and complete life destroying catastrophe and psychological trauma that has left me socially incapable and mentally distraught. Maybe you think you’re better than me because you can accept it, and accept your parents; but even Hitler’s dog loved him unconditionally.

Your parents believed in the superiority of white males – something you will NEVER be. Keep being proud, you coward.

“I know proud Hapas.”

No, in all likelihood you know guys who pass entirely as white, or you know guys who are closeted homosexuals afraid to come out and offend their conservative parents. If you don’t believe it, go find one and talk to him.

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43 thoughts on ““Proud” Hapas

  1. I find your website, interesting….

    I don’t buy the “love is colourblind” nonsense either. The disproportionate number of white female/black male and white male/asian female pairings, as opposed to white female/asian male and white male/black female ones is empirical evidence that their claims of colour-blindness is pure rubbish. Yet despite the undeniable, statistically indisputable fact of this, no one wants to face up to it, or work out, what is really going on.

    But it has real implications on real people. Your perspective reveals something I’ve suspected, but never quite heard (because it is politically incorrect to say so), that interracial pairings create moral problems and hurt people. Women and men are choosing partners to produce children, where the children are people they would not normally be attracted to.

    It is also interesting that the situation you have with Asian women is a direct corollary to that with black men and white women. They deliberately reject black women for a white (usually blonde, light woman), but then have daughters who resemble the women that they rejected. That black man is producing a daughter who he would normally not look at. That Asian women is doing the same, but to her son.

    • @Jumanjiplayer, your comment illuminated the drawback of the cause and effect for IR off springs but your analysis was lacking. Heck, a person wanting to stick with their race is proof love isn’t blind too. And I know It’s not just solely to prevent problem that IR relationship causes. Hint: when you question why there are rarely certain pairing instead of only frequent pairings…you will have gotten the bigger picture my friend…xD.

      • The couples you talk about meet at university or abroad. I prefer to have the reputation of asian men. Asian women are seen as threat to racial purity in western countries. Half white kids are seen as white kids with nice tans. When people thought I had a white mother I was told I would be treated like a white woman rather than an Asian woman.

    • That my friend doesn’t hold true for the Blackman. Despite all that the white man had thrown at us we are still standing and not tying to be white, don’t want to be white. The Black man or woman can have a Black offspring regardless of who they have it with. Whites can only have a white baby with another white. It is a recessive gene. So throw your superior bullshit out the window. You’re simply the most aggressive and violent of all mankind, a negative and greedy selfishness. You’re not capable of living in harmony with others or nature. So sad, very few of you are capable or desirous of harmony.

      • “Whites can only have a white baby with another white. It is a recessive gene.” –So very very true. I took Genetics in college and have read a lot about it and “why are white people white?” –Who the fuck cares. That melanin-deficient gene will breed out in the future anyways.

  2. As a fellow Hapa I agree with much of your blog. Everything you say is for the most part spot on. But why all the self-loathing? Us hapas may not be the master race, we may not be the stupid “next generation” humans everyone sugar coats us to be. But so what? Why do you choose to be even more self destructive? Our births were flawed, maybe we shouldn’t exist, but here we are. So what are you going to do with your life? Tell other pathetic Hapas how worthless we all are? I choose to live how I want to live, that’s all there is to it. What do you want? Do you pity yourself because your mother died early and your father never truly seemed to care for you for real? Do you feel that you lacked love?

    If I was religious this is where I would say I will pray for you, but I won’t obviously. I don’t know you, or the life you lived but through your blog I can feel many of the same things I felt in my life. But the difference is that you still live in hell. I don’t know what it is you need, maybe you feel that you truly do need liberation from this life, but I encourage you to struggle longer. Just because we live in a world full of ignorant racists who are ignorant even to their own racism doesn’t mean our flawed lives are pointless. Our flaws are proof that we are still human.

    So what exactly is it that you want? To continue proving our flaws? It’s not our flaws that define our characteristics to those close to us, it’s our strengths. Our flaws are what define our characteristics to our enemies. Who are your enemies? White men? Asian Women? If you make enemies out of them they will recognize you for your flaws. If that’s what you want you are doing a fine job.

  3. the locals are always looking up to the white men. Each time a couple – white man/asian girl takes his taxi, they always send the white home first. Of course, he doesnt have to pay for the fare. Similarly when a couple of friends get together and take a taxi, the caucasian always get to go home first even though its out of the way. Even my coffee shop’s western food stall auntie who’s always rude and grumpy towards customers is all smiles when she sees a white customer.

  4. Quick question.

    Why should a mother or father be sexually attracted to their children? By saying an asian mother would not be, but should be, sexually attracted to her half-asian son, you imply a white father would be and should be sexually attracted to his half-asian daughter. Why? Because you say the mother dislikes asian men while citing the prevalence of white man/asian female pairings.

    Doesn’t it seem odd to you that you’re basing your worth on the incomplete understanding you have regarding your dead mother’s sexual preferences?

    • You’re not reading correctly.

      Your mother implicitly devalues Asianness. You are asian thereby you are inherently inferior since your birth was only warranted by virtue of having a white father.

      It doesn’t have anything to do with the mother’s attraction to her son. More to do with your lesser value as a person in her, and society’s eyes.

    • Wouldn’t surprise me if there is a HUGE unreported group of half Asian half white daughters who were preyed upon sexually by there WHITE fathers “yellow fever” runs deep i.e. Woody Allen.

    • Asian parents and grandparents are also to blame for this shit. My parents said the same thing, but they have no idea what the fuck they are ever saying. All they’re doing is that they suffer from the same self-hatred as many Asian women.

  5. My question after reading a lot of your posts (as well as SEML’s) is, how does an Asian woman marrying a white man prove unequivocally that she doesn’t have any interest in marrying any Asian men? (And I’m aware of the disturbing trends for the WMAF pairings, but that’s also a macro view and not necessarily representative of the reality for each individual couple.)

    It would be one thing if this Asian woman was divorced 3 times and married 4 white men, which would show a pattern of preference, but if she has only been married once, wouldn’t that show insufficient data to determine any preference? If you look at her dating history and she has dated, for example both Asian and white men, doesn’t that mean that there is no clear bias? Or does the chronology matter? But yeah, how does one instance prove a pattern? If you can only marry one person how does it really prove anything about a person?

    • Well, How many times do you see an asian man dating white women just as much as he is dating asian women? no you don’t.
      WMAF couple outnumber AMWF couple by at least 3 times, which means at least 2/3 of them are either based on hatred or trying to elevate their status by dating white men.
      but I don’t believe that AMWF couples are all innocent either, so I’d say much more than 2/3 of the WMAF couples are fucked up couples.

      Actually I never believed any of them are innocent, even though we are tought that love is supposed to be colorblind, but it is impossible for a human being to see people past their races. (do not deny, no one could be colorblind, we are not jesus)

  6. This may be true for some, but it’s not for all. My mom is white and my dad is Japanese, which proves that some Asian guys got game. He was raised in Canada, however, born to two Japanese parents who were also born in Canada, so maybe he could date other white women because he was pretty westernized? I don’t really know, but I do know if you complain about your race and claim that’s why you can’t get a girlfriend, that’s 100% not true. Girls probably don’t like you because you’re annoying, whiny, and constantly need someone to boost your ego. I have a really racially diverse group of friends, and all of them don’t care about ethnicity when it comes to dating. All they’re looking for is a guy who’s confident and stylish and funny and nice and whatnot. Just go read some women’s magazines like Cosmo, and you’ll see what characteristic women want from guys, and mold yourself into their dream boyfriend. Girls aren’t as superficial as guys; we care more about how charismatic you are and how romantic you are and if you’re driven for success.

    • You were born with mentally stable parents; like many aw/wm children I was devastated mentally by my parents. That’s like asking a girl to have a normal dating life after being raped as a child by both her parents.

      What normals don’t realize is that some people cannot simply “develop positive attitudes”, “get counseling,” or “be confident” to get over the hell they went through with their racist parents. Especially if we were born back at a time that race still meant something.

  7. OMG truuuu i’m so done with all these irritating asian boys who cry about their lack of gf and blame it on their race… i’m like, “nobody likes you because you’re a whiny-ass self-hating bitch. it has nothing to do with you being asian honey.”

    • @Sophia
      As a white man who has sampled MANY varieties of Asian women I can say that most of the Asian girls I meet viciously hates Asian men, I’m not sure if this is to impress me or what. Even when I make racist jokes against Asians they simply giggle and give me a kiss and their phone number. It’s great being White in the dating game.

      • Enjoy it while it lasts. The white century won’t last forever. Asia will have its turn. Hopefully, Asian men will remember all the racist crap white men have done to them and pay them back in kind. As for these racist insecure cunts, you can have them and I hope you have some sons with them too. The greatest karma is your own sons will have your racist ass and your whore’s racist ass. Good luck with that!

  8. I live in France, all I know > asian women + white men are not more numerous, not weirder than the others :
    – asian women + black men
    – asian men + white women
    – asian men + black women
    – white men + black women
    – white men + white women
    – etc…

    There are a lot of ugly people, plenty of psychopathes, but 98 % of them are not eurasians, and most of them are not white men who live with an asian woman.

    There are a lot of couples who are ugly, But the media only points ugly couple if the asian women or the white men are ugly. Whereas when the white women or the white men are both ugly, the media doesn’t point out this fact.

  9. One thing that always confused me about various “race proud” sorts, whether that is black, white, asian etc….is just how many of them date out of the race.

    If all the other people of your group were to model themselves after your standard, no matter how much they loved their culture and people.

    Within a few generations, maybe even just one, your race and culture would no longer exist. No matter how good you make it for the current or maybe even next generation of people in your culture.

  10. “Contrary to what people believe, I became like this out of anger at treated poorly, whereas until I was in my early 20’s I was well liked, popular, thousands of friends on Facebook,…”

    How could you have been well-liked and popular, yet treated poorly? And what did they do to you?

    Also:
    – Have you thought of moving to Asia? (You would have an entirely different experience of life.)
    – Are you sure that it’s not Asian guys that don’t want to date white women?? (Western women are kind of masculine and maybe Asian guys don’t like that? I know a fat, white Aryan chick who had a crush on a full Korean guy. She never told him, but I’m pretty sure he would’ve nope’d her)

    • Yeah, Korean men don’t like Caucasian women really… too “masculine” for them and not their style.
      The author of this blog is half Chinese, and his mother is Chinese so go figure he gets obsessive about how Asian women “fetishize” white men.

      To be pretty blunt, a lot of Asian men are indeed more feminine than a lot of caucasian women I know, what woman wants to date a man more feminine than him?

      I honestly think that the author of this blog has his head too far up his own ass to see anything differently and continues to preach, trying to make white men and asian women “wake up” to his philosophy.

      The reality is that white men and asian women are indeed incapable of understanding us, even our parents don’t understand our trials that we go through in life very well at all, but as shitty as it may sound, it is what it is.

      I don’t necessarily think it is a bad thing either, humans will be humans. Perhaps the author of this page is upset and depressed because of unrealistic expectations- yes, we grow up in societies that teach us racism is wrong, and equality should be right. The reality is that no one is born equal, and people are born different and some of us, especially us that are of mixed races fall in between the cracks of society and the modern paradigm of what it means to be a human in the modern world- people can’t understand us through the education of today’s schools, nor can their parents really understand to teach them properly. This is the reality, and perhaps it is too much for some people.

      It is what it is.

      As a half-asian, am I used to the treatment I get from both whites and asians? Not really, it’s not something you get used to. Having been discriminated since childhood, being shot at with bb guns for looking different, being asked what I was, being told I can only be one thing, having a crazy grandma sick her dog on me… when you experience these things growing up of course you never get used to the fact that people treat you differently. You actually become hyper aware- you can tell what someone sees you as a “different” human being rather quickly, you develop that sixth sense and learn to read people’s body language.

      Regardless, I don’t think I’m unhappy. I’m actually very content with my life. I wonder about our friend here the blogger on this webpage. Is he happy? Why do we all sense so much discontent in his writings?

  11. My dads sister is like this. They are not very close. She sometimes even asked my mother way before why she married a Chinese man (my dad)…my mom was very angry and told my dad about this. my dad and his sister really hate each other now. she loves hating on Asian males and told my dad he’s lucky to have married my mother because most white woman don’t want asian males. my aunt has a son, he looks full chinese. now she told my dad that hes lucky me and my two brothers are white passing. shes upset her sons looks chinese.

  12. Comparing Hapas to hitler’s dog is offensive. In your article you reflect on stereotypical opinions that are not true in every case. You are obviously working out your issues which I can appreciate. However your article is less powerful because of your use of self-contradicting adages and absolution. Your cynical take on inter-racial relationships informs the reader that you have likely been burned by women and maybe have not experienced true love.
    I wish you fufilling relationships, color blind and without judgement. The world is filled with racism and assumptions I have felt first hand, like you as a hapa, but as a woman I have understanding of a woman’s heart and know not everyone is driven to decision by self hatred, baseness and depravity. I am sorry you did not get to have your mom in your life fully. It is so sad she died from complications of such a common surgery. I am glad you shared your feelings and hope you have grown and learned to love your uniqueness.

  13. I am half white (dad) and half Filipino (mom). I just stumbled onto your blog and I am stunned. So much of what you say is true! My mom married my average looking, emotionally difficult father when she came to the US as a nursing student. I now realize that she was husband hunting on that student Visa. You are right… Their marriage is not a happy one, never has been.

    As a teen, I dated white guys and Asians. My mom discouraged my dating Filipinos, claiming that, “It is like dating your cousin.” Somehow I fell for that rational. Reading your blog has made me realize that I had been brainwashed into thinking I should only marry a white man.

    Well, I did do just that and our marriage is now on the brink of divorce. We do have one child who by convential means is very attractive. Our child is only 1/4 Filipino and is white with clear green eyes and honey brown hair. My mom and all my aunties love to comment on my child’s anglo features. My sister is also I the same boat. Married a white guy too. They have a beautiful child with hazel eyes and blonde hair. Their marriage is not a happy one either. Yes, we were both brainwashed.

    And you are right about another thing… My husband is actually attractive but his emotional issues and poor character traits make him an overall undesirable life partner. My brother in law is a total nerd that my sister worked hard to overhaul. He dresses well thanks to her, but he is on the low end of desirable partners.

    I do appreciate your blog and will continue to read it. Thank you for opening my eyes to the truth.

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