Picture from a self proclaimed narcissist: http://www.kimberlylow.com
So, it dawned on me that Asian women intent on marrying white men would never stop. So I realized something; as someone coming from a background of a miserable household and a mother who married for race and status, and also married to a very sweet girl who told me she would never have dated me had I not been Chinese, I’m in a pretty good position to air the dirty laundry of the Tiger Moms and race climbers of the world; because now, I have the comparison.
From here on in I will literally use this blog as a platform to reveal the naked truth about a coupling that masquerades as colorblind and progressive yet is so common simply because it is neither colorblind, and is also regressive, reeking of colonialism, colorism, and a long history of white men being seen as the most desirable. Dishonorable? Unfilial? Who cares?
Ever wonder why Asian woman / white male couples look so unhappy compared to Asian / Asian couples? My parents were miserable from day one, and do you want to know why? Because the marriage was based on hate, not love.
(Yes, obviously there are exceptions. But the ones who marry for race, this should be pinpoint accurate).
I thought I would break this down fairly simply here.
- The relationship is based on the whiteness of the male. Yes, this is true. I know this purely through observation, including my own parents. Sometimes the white male is “decent looking”, rarely “good looking,” and more common plain and even ugly. My father was also “coincidentally” approached by my mother during a language class, and he “coincidentally” was 6’3″ and white with blue eyes. On this basis, there is really nothing else ensuring the stability of the relationship other than the fantasy of having a white partner. The expectations are monumental.
- Necessarily, a good, sane human being would not disqualify a person of her own race. I know this now given my experience with a woman who loves Chinese men, is traditionally attractive, comes from a stable, loving family, loves children, and harbors no mental issues; versus my own mother who deliberately sought out a white man and was extremely mentally deranged. A lot of white men will mistake overt affection for love, when the real end goal was to get a whiter baby (if you don’t believe me, just ask your Asian girlfriend / wife and examine her response and if it refers to “beautiful Hapas” or “beautiful babies”).
- Mother comes from a history of abuse; her father beat her and her four siblings pretty badly. My wife was hugged constantly as a child and pampered to the high heavens.
- While not unattractive, my mother was “decent,” with double eyelids, brown skin, and a square-jaw – not really the Chinese ideal. I suspect that having a white husband was a good way for her to one-up her siblings and her friends.
- Mother comes from a family that is fairly obsessive about status and money; hence their immigration to the US during the mid-60’s and the almost bizarre infatuation with Ivy League schools.
- If she was “innocent” in her love – would she not have sought out someone within her own culture or a male that was not stereotypically white? I ask this because white men oftentimes criticize white women who “only date black men,” yet when an Asian woman throws herself at a white male, this is excused and no indication of a character flaw.
- Mother will change her last name to her husbands as a badge of her “integration”, yet in some cases (more common now) they will keep their Asian last names hyphenated (like my cousins) to maintain an image of being attached to their Asian side yet fully supportive of the supremacy of whiteness.
- The relationship isn’t pure because unbeknownst to the male, the relationship is based on his race rather than any redeeming qualities. Obviously he doesn’t realize this, even years after the fact or after he has been divorced / nagged to death / cheated on. He enjoys getting sex at the beginning and feeling praised for his eye color / European features without realizing how this indicates a strong mental imbalance or superficiality in a woman; moreover, the guy can oftentimes get off on the fact that the woman has a “strong personality,” or is controlling and even relatively unstable; a good example is to notice the behavior of these couples in public, where oftentimes they seem emotionally distant or angry.
- If the relationship was not based on the whiteness of the male, then Asian women wouldn’t be dating them in such high numbers, and WMAW couples could sit down to dinner without seeing four-five other WMAW couples at a time.
- Oftentimes the relationship is based off of “rebellion,” desire to “escape” Asian culture, a history of sex-abuse or sex-work, a history of familial violence, personality quirks, extremely vicious personalities (my cousins and aunts who are with white men are constantly verbally abusing their partners even when they are not there) or hygiene issues; out of all my mother’s siblings, there are two with really atrocious personalities and nagging health problems, my mother, and her “best friend” sister, who also was married and divorced twice to white men. Her other two sisters have been married to Asian men since the late 60’s. I recall one story of my friend back home who told me had hooked up with a Korean girl and that her feet smelled so bad he threw her out; given that I think I’m culturally predisposed to being disgusted by body odors and hygiene, these women seek to date out.
- After a year or two of marriage (which comes with a demand for an extremely extravagant wedding and ridiculous demands; my cousin’s wedding, for example, cost $40k, while mine cost nothing), the woman begins to reveal her true colors, withholding sex and becoming increasingly naggy.
- After the child is born she will stop paying attention to the husband, since he was merely an accessory for her during their dating phase, and start Tiger Momming the child and become obsessive about money. I noticed this immediately when looking through a photo-album of my childhood given to me as a gift last Christmas; after about 4-5 years, my mother deliberately distanced herself from my father, and in the pictures of them together, he would often be staring into space or off at the floor while she was talking with her siblings and Asian friends. Her demands for purchases become more and more extreme and she will start comparing herself with her sisters / friends for the lifestyle she feels she deserves
- Since she wasn’t of the “best stock” to begin with (as arguably the best women wouldn’t discriminate on race), her gradual frustrations and mental problems showed through as I grew older, making my brother and I beat each other with coat hangers, forcing us to stand in the corner for hours playing the violin, pulling a knife on us and threatening to kill us and slit her wrist, driving the car up to 90 miles per hour with us in the back seat, threatening to kill us by driving into a lake or into the wall, etc. I had recurring dreams about her driving into water, until I began writing this blog, after which they promptly vanished.
- Separate bedrooms / sexlessness was the norm for the entire relationship.
- She would confide in me that my father was lazy, fat., etc; often telling me directly how he “would eat sugar directly out of the bag,” “couldn’t look anyone in the eye,” “would cover his face while eating to conceal his disgusting habits,” etc.
- The combination of being extremely Tiger Mommy and the child’s cultural confusion in looking nothing like his father and witnessing perverse racial dynamics where an otherwise aloof and indifferent father exercises “domination” over an Asian woman yet himself is unable to provide proper guidance for an Asian looking child, leads the child to either lash out or demonstrate unusual and passive aggressive behavior. Combined with being rejected by full-Asians as well as by full-Whites means an extremely traumatizing experience.
- Anyone who has ever met a Eurasian person with a white father will recognize this immediately. This manifests in certain ways, such as extreme insecurity, an over-inflated ego, unbearable personalities that seem rooted in deep issues, or other odd “ticks”.
- The biggest insult is how these women (and their husbands) attempt to make their children “proud to be Asian,” by sending us to Karate classes, signing us up for Asian language classes (I was signed up for Chinese / Cantonese classes), taught how to use chopsticks at age 3, despite their younger peers creating the atmosphere of Asian hatred. I.e., Half-Asians go out in the world and see Asian women openly attacking Asian men – so where does our trust for our parents go?
Obviously most Hapas don’t want to admit that their mothers did in fact favor or use white males to their immediate advantage in securing a better life style / status / whiter children, since to do so would be to embrace a terrible kind of nihilism that was beyond anything else that the human mind can rationally absorb.
More funny is the anger that posts such as this generate from certain parties, usually because it’s absolutely spot on. I’ve been there, done that, so I know exactly what the mentality is. Whatever you do, do NOT blame Asian men for the behavior of Eurasians in the future!