The original quote, from a white woman married to an Asian male. Most of the resulting commenters, as I myself believe, ALSO said that white women with Asian men creates healthy children, while ONLY Asian women with White men creates psychological issues. I’ve discussed the reasons before, but in short:
The white father believes he is better than Asian male, as does the Asian mother who consciously or subconsciously believes in the cultural or physical superiority of the white male, which leads to Asian male children.
The moment a hapa with a white mom commits a crime that makes national news, I’ll eat my foot.
I love my boyfriend a lot and eventually we want to have kids. Discovering this subreddit has really scared me, though. Growing up I never thought that my child may have identity issues, so I never planned a way to prevent it.
I’m afraid for my future son (if I have one). I want him to be confident. I know I can love and respect him and teach him to have pride, but when he’s exposed to the world his race might make him feel insecure. I don’t know how to approach his race. As for myself…I am not in contact with my side of the family any longer so I am mostly in an asian environment (and I’ll be honest, being at large family gatherings and being the only white person does make me feel a little out of place)… He might just be almost cut off completely with his white family. I don’t know how that will effect him, either. What if he feels a little out of place like me? Not even round his family but in school as well? It doesn’t effect me much since I am a grown woman, but on a developing child I am afraid it might have serious consequences.
As a side, I’ve heard that the mother’s DNA is the most pronounced phenotype. If my son/daughter looks mostly white, would it be even harder for them to fit in with their asian family?
I know there isn’t much discussion about half asian females, but I am equally as afraid for her for the same reasons. I am also afraid of her being fetishized by boys growing up. Everything I hear related to half-asian females is always sexually charged. I don’t want her to grow up believing she is a sex object, I want her to be like her mother and find that one special guy and be with him for the rest of her life. I don’t want her to be promiscuous, but I also don’t want her to be so ashamed of herself that she will be afraid of boys.
So if anyone wants to give me advice I’d be grateful. I’d answer any question as well, to the best of my ability. I’ve never posted on reddit before.
Other quotes from other Hapas:
I know there isn’t much discussion about half asian females, but I am equally as afraid for her for the same reasons. I am also afraid of her being fetishized by boys growing up.
This will almost undoubtedly happen. As for the rest of it; AM/WF pairs lack the whatever it is that causes WM/AF pairing to be common and problematic.
I have noticed that every Asian women and white male coming on here basically never care about their children. Only white women seem to ask this.
I thought it was an exaggeration until EVERY single WM or AF was batshit about who they were SLEEPING WITH. Every AM/WF focused on their children. SMH.
Because most WMAF couples exists not because of love, but because of hatred, mostly because the AF in WMAF hate asian men and they date WM because of it. and the WM dating AF because they find AF to be the easy alternatives or because they have yellow fetish (which is very fucked up)
If you raise your kids with self esteem they’ll be fine.
UNFORTUNATELY FOR US, most Asian women with white men savagely hate anything Asian, as do the white fathers who are for the most part closet paleoconsevative racists, so Eurasian boys from WM/AF are usually severely damaged by the time they reach adulthood.
Meanwhile Eurasians with white moms are usually well adjusted and normal people. I can only imagine what it would be like to have had a mom who didn’t value me more because I was less Asian looking, constantly fed me lies about Asian men, paraded me around like a dog, and tiger mommed me to hell.
I think you are the 1st white woman to post here ever. I’ve been waiting for a white woman to post, since in a way a white woman would be a neutral arbitrator of these issues, since she doesn’t have as much personally at stake in it as white men and Asian women do.
Although in your case, you are a white woman dating an Asian man, which takes bravery and courage in our racist society.
People call us racist and hypocritical for being pro-AMWF and anti-WMAF. But no one on r/Hapas is for segregation or racial purity. If people would actually read our posts, you would see that our problems come from the WMAF relationship being based on white supremacy and oppressing half colored kids. If AMWF is not based on white supremacy it wont have the same horrible consequences.
The facts speak for themselves in that it is impossible to name a single WMAF son who amounted to anything, while there are many, many, famous, successful AMWF sons, despite the small number of AMWF couples.
In a way AMWF couples like yourselves, give hope to WMAF sons just by existing, since you prove to us that being an Asian male is not the end of the world.
This Eurasian blogger suggests that the very fact that more AMWF moms are concerned about their kids futures, than WMAF moms, is itself proof that AMWF moms are more capable of empathy and love for their children. Your tone is very different than the countless WMAF couples who post here. They taunt us and demand we put their happiness above our own. You actually care about your Eurasian children for their own sake, and that is admirable.
If you’ve read through this subreddit, then you should see that the problem is not that theres anything wrong with mixing white-asian genes, but the wrong type of white men get with Asian women.
I think its the opposite of AMWF. The right type of white women are willing to see through the stereotypes. Thats why you care about your son’s identity and your daughter’s dignity. None of the WMAF couples care about that. In a disgusting way the WMAF couples even objectified their own daughter. Parenting like that, is what gives wmaf Eurasian daughters their complexes, not anything in their genes.
you, u/Prende and /u/Wanlong both care about your kids. You’d be hard pressed to find a single White guy on r/Hapaswho cares in the same way, and we get A LOT of white guys posting here. They just try to bully us into accepting them. Thats the difference. You are not them, and you shouldn’t think you have anything to do with them.
If there were more white women like you, it would go a long way towards solving the r/Hapas problem, since White-Asian relations would be on a more even basis, and not get so caught up in screwed up notions of masculinity, feminity and race.
I posit that mixed race relationships are not bad.
In fact, mixed race relationships are a universal positive as they promote objectivity in the children; i.e., a child of two races would be able to circumvent usually common conflicts between races because of his ability to get away from nepotistic ideals (“I’m Arab, so what is good for me is what is right, and what is good for Jews, is against me”); and a mixed race person would be able to view cultural conflicts with the mindset of both races, as he or she is both races.
In fact, President Obama himself is mixed race and it was his universality (especially with his mother remarrying to an Indonesian man), making him and his family the literal definition of anti-racism, that made him able to win the presidency.
However, I posit that Asian women and White men is the most poisonous of all of these relationships that creates unique psychological (notice I did not say cultural) issues in the Eurasian male child (and sometimes in the female).
These issues are the result of the Asian woman deferring to the white maleness, the father feeling naturally entitled to the Asian female (out of longstanding preconceived notions of Asian male inferiority), resulting in an ASIAN MALE CHILD.