Brief notes on Asian female psychology, and dating as a Hapa male.

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I’d love your input on this, as readers, and from other Eurasians.

My mother was a racist – not only because she demanded a white male, but also because she would say things about black people. While driving through Harlem she would point out black males wearing all white and state “that’s what blacks with AIDS wear.”

My parents also subconsciously forced me into avoiding black women. There are commenters here (we all know who is writing it) who even say that Eurasian men should avoid blacks. 

Asian women oftentimes try to force their half Asian sons to marry Asian women (of a specific ethnicity; darker Asians are generally not permitted), while having their half Asian daughters marry white men. I don’t know why this is, but this was always the case in my situation, despite not having sisters.

My suspicion is that Asian women view white women with some distaste – and either seek to denigrate them yet also replace them at the white man’s side. I should note my mother had many non-white friends but almost no white women as friends (there was one, who had nothing to say but criticism of my mother’s Tiger Momming). This might also have to do with my father’s behavior, but I’m not sure as I was too young to gauge public opinion of them.

I also have seen how Asian women go into a rage when seeing Asian men with White women. This happened with my cousins. My suspicion is that they have developed such a superiority complex to Asian men, where they are able to supplant White women at the White man’s side, wherein they prove themselves nominally superior to something they view as objectively superior, so the thought of the “superior” white woman with an Asian male is enough to earn their ire.

 

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30 thoughts on “Brief notes on Asian female psychology, and dating as a Hapa male.

  1. Basically accurate. It’s all racial heirarchy. The same impulse that makes AW racist against blacks makes them worship white men, denigrate Asian men due to an internalization of white attitudes, and despise white women as competition. They want their sons to marry AW and daughters to marry WM because they see status only through race and idealize their own racial coupling; thus a male child of WMAW couple interested in white women raises the value of the competition–white women–and lowers the value of AW.

    I’m going to offer another explanation. The problem with WMAW couples is that they are, as a by-product of race and power in contemporary society, really the only type of pairing in which both parties may remain in the narcissistic phase of psychological development, find each other attractive despite each other’s narcissim, and actually get far enough to produce children.

    Remember that narcissim isn’t a type of personality, it’s a stage of development which most people, due to the pressures of reality, are forced to leave behind at some point in their early life–usually I would say in the early twenties, but exceptionally balanced people earlier and exceptionally unbalanced people never. To give a Freudian reading, the AW makes a narcissistic object-choice in late childhood or adolescence to fetishize whiteness despite NOT BEING WHITE. This superficial object-choice can develop from mass media, in which an identification with depictions of “power” or “beauty” in media makes her identify with whiteness, or from peer-identification, in which the white object-choice of other girls around her makes her adopt the same object-choice. In any case, the object-choice is usually, because it is made on a narcissistic basis, superficial–often a white man with whom the AW has never interacted and knows nothing about. For everyone else, this early superficial narcissistic object-choice is given a reality-test and is very quickly deflated, and the person heads towards adulthood stronger with an increased sense of self-awareness. But for AW, the reality-test is absent because her narcissistic infatuation with whiteness is actually encouraged by society, because AW may be more prone to clinging to narcissim, and because it is received and given life IN REALITY by white men who are caught in their own narcissistic developmental hole.

    In the case of white men who date/marry AW, in almost every case the original narcissistic object-choice is a white women who was not accessible to him. Usually this is the hot girl in high school that he couldn’t get because he wasn’t on the football team or something. In other cases (remember this is an early narcissistic object-choice) it is a celebrity or model like a Kate Upton or Pamela Anderson. In severe cases, it is the mother (haha). The white man’s early object-choice (remeber that white men grow up and are taught to expect to get what they want in life) is given a reality-test and returned negative. But it takes time for the human psyche to disentangle any emotional tie to an object–indeed Freud states that human beings never willingly give up a sexual object–and so what should be the first step towards building an “ego” that can function like an adult ends up becoming what Freud calls a melancholic reaction to the loss of the object. The white man attempts to preserve the emotional tie to the object by rejecting the reality of the loss, rejecting the loss of power and status that was associated with the object-choice, and seeks a suitable substitute: a woman who will reconstitute for him that fantasy of power and status related to his first object-choice (an idealized white women), not question his lack of abilty to form new emotional ties because he is spending all of his psychic energy keeping the old one alive, and of course take care of his physical need for sex. The white man keeps the AW’s narcissistic fantasy alive because he refuses to let go of his own.

    In many ways this is the John Lennon/Yoko Ono “Double Fantasy” phenomenom. That album title was obviously intended to be positive, but if you think about it, from a sociological perspective, it is NEVER A GOOD THING for two narcissistic people who reject reality to have children, regardless of race or nationality. The reason WMAW couples stick out so much is not because they are the only ones who are susceptible to narcissism, but because they are the only ones who’s shared narcissim reinforces itself.

    • You are partly right about it, since a lot of Asian owned shop tends to be attacked by Blacks. These Thugs go after all these shops owned by individuals and often they are owned by Asians. However, these types of attacks are not exactly a hate crime or being called “ching-chang-chong” or alienation or bulling. I do not believe they are “targeted” by Blacks but than I could be wrong on this.

      Vast majority of Asians experiences hate crimes and racial slurs during teenage years at school. It is mostly males who experience this and females rarely experience these.

      Also, good number of Blacks does spew out racial slurs on street but this is nothing compare to what White males students to Asian male students in school everyday. This is simply because there are more Whites than Blacks in general and vast majority of Asians do not live close to Black neighbors. Most often Asian encounter Whites everyday rather than Blacks.

      In addition, there are difference in how Whites does discriminate against Asians and how Blacks does it.

      For instance, Blacks are more likely to spew out racial slurs on the street but White are less likely. This doesn’t mean Whites do not spew out racial slurs or plain rude to people. They are done more carefully and more likely practice “alienation” and casual racism comment.

      If you want to know the truth why don’t you ask many Asian students. I am sure will get varying degree of answers and it isn’t 100% consistent with above video.

    • I find it so amusing, White people trying to convince Asian that “Whites are not treating Asian bad, it is Blacks who are calling you “ching-chang-chong”.

      Are you sure about this? Do you believe many Asians will agree with this?

      Most of all, all those hapas who were called “Ching-chang-chong” by Whites will agree with this?

      • White males try to convince Asians that blacks are the real enemies, in order to kill two birds with one stone: justify WMAW, and then swing racism away from its real source: white males.

  2. It seems that everything that EW writes about is especially true with Chinese women. With their obsession with money & status everything is off the charts. That is EW’s actual life experience. What’s it like in other ethnic Asian cultures?

    Also, I just attended a child’s birthday party this weekend. A number of WMAF couples. Amazing how every one of these couples the guy is a complete beta male(and that’s giving them too much credit). No self respecting (any ethnicity) woman would ever entertain the thought of being with these guys. No self respecting, I said.

  3. I just finished watching your latest YouTube video and it was very hard to listen to because I could hear the pain in your voice. How heartbreaking!!! I just hope that at this point in your life you’ve been able to find a measure of happiness even if it’s not as much as you’d like. I guess it will just be a fact of life that some Asian women will continue to worship whiteness and marry them for status. So I applaud you for bringing this issue to light!!! Making this public stirs conversation and it can help other hapas that are from these kinds of toxic environments to think more critically about why they are making certain life choices.

  4. Anyway, on the subject, someone above talked about WMAW couples and the beta males, I have to agree, and in the vast majority of cases the guy doesn’t respect asians, he doesn’t see them as equal. So many times I’ve seen asian women wanting to die because their boyfriend/husband had cracked a racist joke in public, and saw nothing wrong with it, or flat out said if she’s from Asia that she should be thankful he took her out of her “shithole country”. It’s so pathetic.

    • At the birthday in which I mentioned observing a handful of WMAF couples the women were 2nd generation and older. So the “she should be thankful for taking out of their shithole country” thing would not apply.

      I’m curious as to the thought process of these females whose families have been in the US for multiple generations and their choice in partners. I understand many may believe that marrying white is a way to ‘integrate’, especially in light of WWII internment of Japanese Americans. Is it some offshoot of Stockholm Syndrome?

      I know one(2nd gen AF) who is married to a hapa male(w/ White dad). The guy is unemployed, a lackluster father & husband, goes on play dates with other MOMS(not dads), ex-army, has grandiose beliefs about his own aesthetics/abilities, & I’m sure more.

  5. Women get conquered by winners. Guys take risk and only the alphas mate. Women’s range is much more narrower and they all mate with the alpha. That’s the game chimps play and humans still do.

    Asian female psychology is that of any other female social climber. They want status. By marrying the right man, they can co-opt the positional power of the man.

    What you need to do is pick up your balls and aim for the sky. Before whites were at the top, some other races ruled. Asian dominance is coming as whites are selling out their own race and Africa and middle east is still stuck in the middle ages with Europe barely hanging on. There are more millionares in Asia than Europe or North America. Asians superiority is beginning to be understood. Whites fear it, but change is constant. Center of power moves westward from Europe to New England to West Coast to now Japan, Korea, China. Smart women know this and feel this deep in their consciousness. They want asian genes in their offspring. You’ve got some. Go out and take a chance.

    P.S. Only loser Asian women marry loser white guys and they both end up miserable. They get what they deserve, but doesn’t mean you need to be responsible for that. You have a choice to learn from their mistakes and make your relationships more meaningful and personally fulfilling than just trying to give your children certain physical attributes which will lose power soon.

    New world order is in place. Jews are leaving America for Singapore, Australia, etc. But China owns most of American currency and land now. Times of transition. Better days ahead for Asians IMO.

  6. Asian women oftentimes try to force their half Asian sons to marry Asian women, while having their half Asian daughters marry white men. I don’t know why this is, but this was always the case in my situation, despite not having sisters.

    That is BULLSHIT. I am a eurasian and me alongside other eurasians I know, have very open minded parents that dont care about race (why would they be in an interracial relation in the first place ?).
    The reason we eurasians mostly date whites is because of the racism we recieve from full Asians especially when dating them, whites are far more accepting of multiculturism.. In japan TO THIS DAY they have cafes only for the japanese.. “no foerigners” sounds familiar ?
    I dated a Chinese guy who had 2 single childless brothers and 5 married sisters who all gave him 35 nephews and neices. Only 2 were pure Chinese whilst the rest had an indian, black and 2 white fathers.
    That guy was very bitter about interracial relationships and called the children mongrels and even myself because he didnt consider them part Chinese and would laugh at them in traditional Chinese wear and tell them to only speak English.

    I also dated another Chinese guy, he was a gambling addict but we were going strong and were engaged. I met his parents and while his mother loved me and took me as her own, his father and brother were bitter that i wasnt chinese enough and was just a white girl. It really hurt me and eventually we broke up because his gambling was going out of control and he stole from me.

    I went my own way and met a white guy who I’m marrying. Great relationship and I never felt so accepted and loved by anyone I was with. I finally felt eurasian, not some wannabe white girl that the Asians were making me feel. I would date any race besides black or anyone who was muslim (personal preference and I dont want the public to think i am ‘easy meat’). Sometimes Asians and eurasians lean towards dating whites because of their open mind and nature, I love being half Chinese but I hate their mindset of needing to keep their children ‘pure’. Not many whites will tell a pregnant woman to abort their mixed race baby if she doesn’t want them to disown her.. thats what happened to my mixed chinese pakistani friend.

  7. “have very open minded parents that dont care about race (why would they be in an interracial relation in the first place ?).”

    Most people do care about race, interracial or not (not all, but most). Your parents may not, but most people do care about it.

    “I would date any race besides black or anyone who was muslim”

    So obviously you care about race, even as a product of an interracial relationship. Thanks for proving my point.

  8. Hi Eurasian Writer!

    I just discovered your blog and find it very interesting because I love having discussions about race issues and social justice. Anyways, as an Asian woman I do hope that you don’t generalize all Asian women to have the same characteristics and behaviors. Everyone has a unique story to tell that shape our identities. Thanks for sharing and I hope you have a wonderful day!

  9. Could you please tell me what you mean by this? “wherein they prove themselves nominally superior to something they view as objectively superior, so the thought of the “superior” white woman with an Asian male is enough to earn their ire.”

    why Asian women hate superior WW dating AM? If they wanna put down WW, isn’t it a good idea to let them date lesser AM?

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