If Asian women are world-famous for having "white fever" and hating Asian men, what happens when they have a son who looks Asian? What happens when Asian women say "no Asian men," and Half Asian sons hear the same? I happen. This is the blog of a Dartmouth educated Eurasian son of a racist, Nazi-sympathizing, Holocaust denying, homophobic conservative, underemployed, conspiracy theorist white man and a Hong Kong woman who had "white fever," documenting the immense damage and abuse done over 20 years of living under one of the most hateful, racist pairings on Earth. Former Neo-Nazi, former extreme racist, and yes, half Asian.
Now imagine having your own mother being one of those women who casually gave into white men who humiliated men who look like you.
White men and Asian women will see you on the street and just assume you are another Asian male – and they will look at you with disgust (I get this all the time). Asian women will often do the “scowl” face at me while with their white partners – proving that white men / Asian women couples are about seething hatred, not love. The fact that my parents’ marriage was so violent confirms that there was no love there.
These are the same people who go onto raise us. Hateful, bitter, racist white men – since white men love humiliating Asian men in order to increase their access to Asian women. Literally – the entire premise of WM/AW is that Asian men are not men – and we, their sons, look totally Asian.
For this reason half Asian men tend to just wind up being even bigger failures than full Asian males. For this reason despite everything white men / Asian women can’t name any grandly successful biracial Asian men who look Asian.
“Dad, I get called a chink at school.” Oh, son, I don’t know what to do about that.
“Mom, a girl told me she doesn’t like Asian guys.” Oh, son, neither do I.
Now you wonder why Half Asians have rates of criminality that almost rival and even surpass rates of black kids from the ghetto?
White men and Asian women aren’t friends to other minorities, no way, no how.
It’s not a coincidence that the White man and Asian woman pairing is the most common interracial pairing in the world – and might eventually outnumber White man / White woman couples.
It’s no coincidence that I am one of millions upon millions upon millions of Eurasians with white fathers and none from the other way around.
The reason for this?
It coincides with the rise of feminism, and the rise of higher standards among White women, whereas now – average white men like my father see and saw Asian women as being a proper substitute for white women. They get the “white skin,” and the sex and affection that white women don’t want to give average white men.
Asian women, to my father, were seen as being filial, family oriented, and traditional, and less promiscuous. My father is socially conservative, has nothing but vicious shit to say about current modern Western civilization, how the west has fallen.
In fact, it might not even seem this way to the white men, but as they are exposed to more and more Asian women, they just find Asian women easier to obtain than white women – for whatever goddamn reason. And, well, Asian women are the closet thing, “plus they don’t have the attitude.”
Also because of my father’s fear of black men and his countless comments about them, Asian women are well known for avoiding black men.
So essentially the Asian woman is “The White Man From the 1950’s” wet dream – literally.
I recall my grandmother said of my father: “your father doesn’t realize that the 50’s are never coming back.”
A good example of my father’s behavior: refusing to watch movies made after the 40’s, refusing to see any movie that features a single curse in it, refusing to read any and all books written after 1850 or so (the Flappers were too much for him, I guess), believing the Jews run Hollywood, etc., etc.
Now, for the Asian woman, in finding a white man she finds herself the ability to integrate into her new home – a land she finds superior to her old one. After all, Europe, in the Asian woman’s mind, is exactly what she sees in movies, on TV, and the European man is an image she can latch onto.
Rather than settling for an average Asian man, she can settle for an average white man, milk him for money, and enjoy a white lifestyle. She gets to say she has a white husband, and Hapa kids, but don’t get it twisted: she doesn’t love her husband, never loved him, and never will love him. If any white guy reads this just ask her if she would love you if you were Asian. Is that true love? Ich don’t think so.
(Some Asian women, for whatever reason, like my mother, are almost completely soulless. These white guys don’t seem to realize that if a woman is dating outside of her race exclusively she’s probably mentally deranged or completely amoral.)
A “white lifestyle” is essentially identical to the one that used to be occupied by the white soccer mom, who for some reason, in the minds of white men like my father (i.e., most white men), became unattainable or unmanageable back then.
Essentially the Asian woman gets to pair off with the white man – and they both get something out of it. The white man gets his “traditional” Asian wife (which essentially means less promiscuous, even though knowing my Asian American cousins this is far from the truth, but with my mother, she certainly was less promiscuous and didn’t have sex with my father at all).
The Asian woman gets her “white dream life”, whiter children, her fantasy of being white and supplanting the white woman at the white man’s side. It’s not about love at all. It’s about an image: the New American Gothic. They try to give off a vibe of being happy but they’re not. After marriage my mother just completely berated my father for failing to match up with what she expected – a European Prince.
These people are NOT – and I repeat – NOT FRIENDS to other minorities. They have nothing in common with other minorities.
WM/AW is pushed as progressive. IT IS NOT. My mother and father would fill my head with stories about black people saying that I should avoid them based on what kind of clothing they were wearing because this meant that… wait for it…. they were diseased.
Essentially WM/AW is the textbook 1950’s picket house fence marriage all over again.
Never, ever, ever, rely on a Hapa son of a White man and an Asian woman to be socially responsible, ever. As I said, I tried my damndest to be as white as possible when I was younger. I even considered dyeing my hair, I posted on extremely racist white websites, I made a black girl cry by dropping the word “nigga” to one of my white friends… but I’ll get into this later.
I am a formerly well liked, handsome, outgoing, popular, Dartmouth educated Eurasian man – a literal brown haired, hazel eyed dream Hapa boy – born to a mentally ill, violent, Chinese mother who sought out marriage into the powered WASP class – but then realized too late that the man she married was an underemployed, emotionally damaged, meek, rapidly balding, hyper-racist, hyper-conservative conspiracy theorist male who was an “Asiaphile” who wanted a “traditional, chaste Asian wife who wouldn’t sleep with black men” – and she essentially killed herself. At around age 20 I encountered anti-Asian racism (ironically from Asian women in my own family and white “friends” who actually liked Asian women because they were easy) and due to inheriting my father’s entitlement to the world and being raised to be superior, I was unprepared to deal with it; I am emotionally unstable, self-loathing, deeply mentally disturbed, addicted, underemployed, have strong intimacy issues, and to this day still unable to undo the damage that the Eurasian myths and family’s racism did to me, and unable to form proper relationships due to my self-hatred instilled on me during the first 20 years of my life. Unlike other Eurasians who find self-esteem in underpaid modeling jobs, are gay, permavirgins, or leverage their half-whiteness to Asian women, my self-implosion has been broadcast to the world to the point that I am internet famous. I am not afraid to be as viciously honest as I need to be in order to speak on the reality of this world.
If you don’t think this website is valid – go to Reddit.com/r/hapas, which received 13.5 million views in 2 years, and 2 million views in the last two months. Also – find half Asians with Asian fathers and compare their behavior to those with Asian mothers.
There are very specific issues with being the children of anti-feminist, racist, unattractive white men, and self hating Asian women who try as hard as they can to integrate and create white children, due to their hatred at their marginalization, and their hatred of their undefined facial features.
There are very specific issues pertinent to the “je ne sais quoi” of white men and Asian women, and the incredibly weird, unbalanced, uncomfortable, fetishized “dynamic” of “superior White man,” and “dainty, beautiful Asian woman.”
None of these apply to the children of Asian fathers. Almost every single part-Asian that people use to justify the superiority of Half Asians involves a Half Asian with an Asian father or grandfather (or both): Keanu Reeves, Dean Cain, Brandon Lee, and his father Bruce Lee. The reason why the sons and daughters of Asian men and white women fare better is simply because they are raised to not view whiteness as a superior entity; which both of my parents did, both of them being white supremacists.
Asian women specifically hate Asian men – and hope to create Eurasian children in order to raise their status; White men use Asian women as a means to get laid, provided that they are unable to do so with non-Asian women, whereby meaning that Eurasian childrens’ only value is to look as un-Asian as possible, meaning that Eurasian children are highly prone to mental illness, extremely racist parents, and broken homes. Failing to look attractive (our primary stereotype), means that many Half Asians just look Asian – which are essentially the bottom of the barrel in the racial hierarchy in the West. This also doesn’t take into account the extreme, cruel, controlling, demeaning, calculating nature of Asian women, where they explicitly hope their children look White, so that Asian women can feel “superior” in wresting the White woman’s status and power away from her at the side of the White man.
Asian women are the ONLY race that explicitly goes out of their way to attack men of Asian appearance in an attempt to integrate and raise their own value. I do NOT like Asian women, firstly because they are physically unattractive (the fact that they look constantly angry, and the fact that they seem to have no life to their appearance, and just look like they’re always scheming), and also because their behavior is off-putting, controlling, hateful, calculating, and rude, as many others have noticed about them; they seem to pick lower status, unattractive white, and only white men, while Asian and Eurasian men will marry anyone, while Asian women only marry white males. Asian women will actually go out of their way to attack Eurasian men, as well, in a desperate attempt to bring Asian looking men down with them, and lower status, unattractive white men will use this as a ways to validate their whiteness – at the expense of anyone of Asian appearance, including Half Asian men. Asian women will attempt to control their Asian looking sons’ dating choices – pushing them towards Asian women; while white men who marry Asian women will act upon their insecurity and lack of control of their marriage, and lash out at Asian men, black men, and white women. Asian women are so unattractive that they pursue bottom of the barrel men of all races, men who are unable to get White women (their first choices), putting Half Asian children in danger. They will also go out of their way to ensure their flimsy “status,” my assaulting or attacking non-Asian women who are sympathetic to or even date Asian men, out of fear that the equal status of Asian men will reveal that Asian women are in fact not as good as they think they are.
Even Kip Fulbeck, king of all Hapas, admitted that the Hapa male process of self-hatred is such a problem, that it should be a cause for concern.
Imagine being raised by two racists – your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks very Asian. Except you have a white father. Is it possible to raise a healthy child considering the loaded, white-worshipping nature of yellow fever and white fever? How can a biracial child be expected to be normal if he looks Asian, and the entire basis of his parents’ relationship was that the man not be Asian? How can Asian women outmarry at such high rates, have an open ‘white fetish,’ and expect Asian looking sons to be emotionally well adjusted?
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall (6’3″, skinny), red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man. She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers. She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” She did not and never did love my father, and only used him because he was white; their entire marriage was violent, loveless (father sleeping on the floor for fifteen years), and calculating.
This man (a semi-famous paleoconservative Homophobic activist on par with the Westboro Baptist Church) was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white or non-Asian woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is very socially conservative, very racist against blacks, Hispanics and Muslims, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely over the top homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely distasteful of feminism, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture). His interest in Asian culture was largely dictated by his personality – in which he idealized Asian cultures as being more honorable and traditional, and mistook “white worship” (a cultural tick in which Asian women see themselves as less beautiful than white women and marry white men for status and integration), for “traditionalism” and “submissiveness.”
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism (America), saw Asian women (including five out of six of them in my own family, all of them, including my own parents divorced or separated – my mother being dead) throw themselves at white men (the majority of whom are racists, Republicans, or short and or meek), and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. I subconsciously always believed myself to be “less” because my own mother and her sisters all were married to white men and adamantly denied I was Asian for a decade.
My parents’ relationship, as was the case in every single one of my female relatives, was loveless, violent and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years as he failed to make enough money, and grew balder and fatter and no longer lived up to the White male Prince Charming she had wanted (separate bedrooms, forced to sleep on the couch, extreme violent fighting). My brother and I suffered extreme psychological and physical abuse (beaten with coat hangers by our mother, Tiger Mommed, had her threaten to kill herself with a butcher knife in front of us, threatened to crash the car with us in it while driving at 90 mph), and her behavior became worse and worse as she realized that her white husband wasn’t making as much money as her brother and sister, who both married Chinese partners. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
The behavior of Asian women, in particular, is like nothing else on earth, to the point that you can see the majority of all stories about abusive parents on Reddit’s AsianParentStories sub – complain about the mothers, including the second generation Asian mothers – like Amy Chua – who metamorphosize into the Tiger Mothers that they hate, despite claiming to hate Asian men. Celeste Ng, a New York Times best-selling author, personally attacked me, after I pointed out that her book “Everything I Never Told You” was based on the broken WMAF families in her friends’ circle, yet she had written it about a family involving an Asian father. Asian women have proven themselves to be extremely hostile against non-Asian women, something out of their deep self-loathing and cultural proclivity towards integration and status, wherein love is secondary if not nonexistent in favor of maintaining status, face, and power over women who they view, deep down, as more beautiful than them. They will even go so far as to attack Asian male / non-Asian female couples, and force their Eurasian children (like me) to marry Asian, in an attempt to maintain an image of false superiority over non-Asian women; (e.g., that Asian women are the most beautiful, when they are not, and heavily rely on yellow fever and male desperation for their feeling of integration and desirability).
When I got older, despite the fact that society told me that I was “unique” for being Eurasian, I was treated with contempt by both white people AND Asian people; Asian women would often express disgust at me for being Asian (scowling at me on the street, or smirking), and white people would constantly remind me that I was Asian in a way to demean and undermine me. Several of my “friends,” who were engineers and nerdy, actually would take every opportunity to remind me of my Asianness, while sleeping with Asian women, as Asian women were all they could get. This caused me to self implode from a popular, outgoing Eurasian to becoming a recluse and suicidal. My insanity grew more and more pervasive as I fantasized about cutting out my eyes to make them deeper, refused to look in the mirror for five years,
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage who clearly looks Asian, born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her. I am highly educated, formerly well liked, popular, handsome, out going and like many Eurasians I burned out in my twenties with the realization that people, even Asian women in my Asian family,hate my Asian side,so now I’ve turned my talents towards exposing the last bastion of White supremacy in the world as candidly as I can. I am literally dissectingWhite male / Asian women couples and the Eurasian identity to a degree that nobody else ever has.
I actually moved to China (which saved my life) in order to escape racism and feelings of inferiority – and was shocked on learning that my own mother (and many other Chinese) had moved to America in order to find the American dream – a dream that hated me for my Asian blood.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went. Hapa males in particular need special consideration due to the fact that we have zero privilege, and yet are raised by two people who want privilege without having to do any of the work.
I am doing this for every single half-Asian kid out there who has committed suicide, thought about suicide, suffered from racism, isolation, outcasting, and had two parents whose entire relationship was nothing but lust, selfishness, even hatred – leaving us with nothing but perpetual isolation. The world does not care about Hapa males if you look average or even a little bit Asian. The world – even Asian women, who truly believe that they are white – only care about whiteness and white men.
To white male / Asian female lurkers: I don’t have to appeal to you. I have to appeal to the billions of people who were on the fence about you, but now will recognize you for the horrid people that you really are.
Your value as a Eurasian is how white you look.
White fathers believe that just showing up, wearing an aikido uniform, making friends with your sensei doesn’t mean you know what it’s like to be Asian.
White male obsession with Asian culture is actually an obsession with Asian women.
White men saying they’re good fathers isn’t enough in raising a child when your relationship is loaded to hell with century-old implications of power and race imbalance.
You’re an idiot if you think that children don’t pick up on mommy / daddy being a different race and a million other couples having the same appearance.
White male obsession with Asian women is 9 out of 10 times an obsession with the only women that feel would tolerate you for their faults. Physical or social.
Relationships between white men / Asian women is directly rooted in the race of the man and the hope for whiter babies (my mother dyed her hair, wore colored contacts, took a white last name).
Asian women practice open racism where white men have much higher value than the average Asian man; they then have the nerve to tell half-Asian children to be proud to be Asian.
Half Asian sons are being raised by women who deliberately support the idea that whiteness is superior. Don’t believe me? Go ask one.
White men directly enable and manipulate self-hatred and white-worship to get laid and try to raise their sons as “substitute white people” (my father did this).
Asian women marry out of a desire to rebel against their culture, or because white men are taller / more sexually attractive, yet try to claim the Hapa identity as theirs. They spent decades trying to define Eurasians as being “beautiful / intelligent / talented” as a cover for their open racism.
The Hapa identity is a fabrication used to justify the idea that white blood makes Asians better. Hapas are not beautiful – white blood makes us more beautiful.
The preference for White men is not rooted in Asian male behavior, but overarching desire for whiter children, and white men. Asian male anger / bitterness (the natural result of being discarded) is then used to further excuse preference for white men, creating a perpetual cycle.
Ask any Asian woman, behind closed doors, why she likes white men, and she will admit that “Asian men are not attractive;” yet their sons will be Asian men.
Eurasians will always be reminded of how White men are better than Asian men, across the board, simply by leaving the house; my individual experiences, multiply it by millions – to understand that half-Asians are being born into a climate that Asian women created, one that hates the Asian male appearance.
Saying “no Asians” is open racism that no half-Asian son, in his right mind, if he knew his mother said this same thing, could ever love her.
The “Hapa” myth of Eurasian beauty only rings true for a small percentage of men, the others who just look Asian.
A large number of Hapas pass successfully as white and don’t need to think about these things, which ideally was the ultimate objective of their parents, to be raised as “replacement white children.”
Eurasian children will suffer if they look even vaguely Asian, and will be constantly reminded of their low social worth by other Asian woman / white male couples that are not their parents.
Asian women will lie to their teeth in order to prevent the truth getting out – that white men are just more sexually attractive.
They will lie to their own children and tell us that being Asian is a good thing when it is not a good thing to look anything like an Asian male.
Asian women are extremely privileged in White society and only after they have Asian looking kids do they try to prepare us for racism by teaching us about our heritage.
White men use Asian women for easy sex when White women fail to match their expectations of behavior, i.e., too slutty, sleeping with black men.
White men believe Asian women carry more “white values” than white women themselves.
This website will hopefully last for the next few decades. I leave it for whites, blacks, Hapas, and aware-Asians to realize exactly what kind of people are raising Hapas. I intend for it to ultimately be the number one search result for “half Asian issues.”
So far, criticism towards me has been: I’m crazy, I’m misogynistic and my problem isn’t my race, but my attitude.
I am the product of my parents; racist, vile people who got together on the principle of race. I was never destined to be a lovey-dovey person. I am exactly what comes out of an Asian woman who is dense enough to stereotype all Asian men the same way (they’re all violent, they’re all undesirable). Her genes are mine. And now this website will persist in exposing what happens when they reproduce.
I leave you with this quote:
And its the Hapa sons who face it head on. We’ve seen both side. The white men laughingly mocking how Asian men are less than men. And the Asian women who powerfully reinforce it by repeatedly stating that all they want in a man, is that he not be Asian. The fact that these 2 deviants are raising Half Asian sons, is a great tragedy. It is only getting worse.
It’s absolutely terrifying considering who is raising Half Asian sons. Not all, many are loving couples, but there are enough to have brought into the world a new massive demographic that will come of age in the next two decades.
If you knew any, you’d realize Asian women who only date White men are vicious people who make it well known to the world that they think Asian men are inferior. White men are well known for their hatred of Asian men, since even the lowest, shortest, bald eat white guy still outranks the best Asian guy in his mind.
What is happening is that half Asian sons are being born to people who are openly admitting that Asian men are inferior. If you think this won’t damage a child permanently, think again.
Ask any Asian woman with a white male what she thinks of Asian men and you will be terrified to realize she is raising an Asian looking son. Go ahead, I challenge you to do it.
The white men who get with these women are bottom of the barrel white men (short, bald, ugly, or autistic) who use Asian female psychopathy to their advantage (my dad being an autistic loser who used my mother’s status climbing to his benefit in getting married, only to see her become gradually more and more insane). They know that these women turn down Asian men, yet they too raise Asian looking sons and make a mockery of Asian men. It’s not wonder Hapas as a whole are so screwed up.
The parents are parents of hatred, not of love. Hatred for white women, hatred of Asian men, hatred of Asian culture; biculturalism was an afterthought.
Being Hapa was just a myth, a slogan, made up by Asian women to give a name to the things they were creating with their hatred.
I leave you with this quote from another Hapa:
Its 2 things.
All other races of women have a strong preference for their own race. Asian women are the ONLY women not to, and so they stick out on this. They are unique. People keep trying to say they are not so different from other minority women. But the outmarriage stats speak for themselves. Asians are special, in a bad way.
If one Asian woman had a preference for white men, it wouldn’t necessarily mean anything. Like if an Indian woman had a fetish for Native American men. The problem is that its because so widespread, to the point that in some areas over half of Asian women outmarry, that its impossible not to see it as against Asian men.
Asian women in WMAF as a collective population, have made clear that Asian men are the least attractive race of males. But then the sons born of this marriage, are still considered Asian males.You know this is true, since you yourself are a 100% Asian-looking Hapa woman. Being an Asian-looking man, born out of a relationship that is anti-Asian male, is extremely traumatic. And thats what much of the suffering on **** is about.
No one has ever said AFs should be required to date AM. But all the Hapa angst you see on this subreddit, is the result of AFs making their choices so ruthlessly, without considering the consequences for the mental health of their own offspring.
This is just going to be a major case of “I told you so.” This has no precedent demographically ever.
By definition most women should prefer their own men. It’s well known that white women prefer their own men.
Asian women that prefer white men exclusively are necessarily damaged people, as it would imply that they are superficial, status-driven, or racist enough to disqualify an entire race of men. If a woman was truly capable of love, she would not disqualify a man on his race. This doesn’t need any logical argument to prove; most white men ignore this because it feels good to be valued, period, let alone valued for ones race.
White men condemn White female feminism, yet turn to Asian female feminism and careerism as a means to get laid, completely ignoring the Asian woman’s character flaws as long as it implies that he is valued. My father, for example, is very anti-feminist, but failed to ever criticize my mother for her insane careerism and obsession with money (she went to my aunt, weighing 70 pounds, wearing a winter coat on a July day, next to Central Park, saying that she planned to kill herself because my father had relinquished his job and refused a pay upgrade because he believed it to be against Christ’s teachings; or something like that).
If an Asian woman only likes white men, this would necessitate that the primary quality is the man’s race, and this would make her standards (especially post marriage) incredibly fickle, as she could easily trade in her man for a better white man (hence my mother’s annoyance with my father failing to live up to the expectations of the American Prince lifestyle she wanted).
Asian women also will marry white men for the status of having a white partner, bragging rights for a Hapa baby, for a green card, for access to a Western country, or because they simply do not want an Asian man, or as a means of rebellion, or because they suffered past abuse (my mother was beaten by her father). None of these indicate a genuine love; not a single one would imply a real love.
Asian women, then, that marry white men, tend to be Tiger Moms, as the value and bragging rights of having a Hapa child, also mean that she places immense value in her child as a representation of her own personal success, and since she married a white man as a stepping stone to her own personal success, will Tiger Mom her children as a means to ensure both immediate success in the present, and success in the future. In other words, a woman who marries a white man for the “status” will probably be a Tiger Mom (not that it makes any difference from an Asian woman that marries a white man for a fetish).
White men are also very much aware of these imbalances and are happy to take advantage of it, telling themselves that any Hapa child they have would be “different” despite having no basis for comparison, and despite beating down thoughts in the back of their head that Asian men might possibly suffer from racism.
After the marriage the woman will become standoffish, bitter, and sexless, and obsessive about money (see: Amy Chua), since the white male was merely a pathway to finding acceptance and validation in the white world, and the white man’s presence merely a precipitate to her ultimate goals.
Despite white men adamantly disagreeing with this website, there are very few of them that would ever willingly admit that they are A) in sexless marriages, B) divorced, C) married to someone with clear character flaws, D) married to abusive Tiger Moms, E) having been cheated on, F) or otherwise in non-loving relationships (despite their mental protests).
Of course, it never occurred to White males that a decent woman wouldn’t have thrown herself at a white man. It took me 25 years to realize this about my mother, after myself having married a woman who preferred Chinese men and was extremely, extremely normal compared to the women in my family. But hey, I could be making this all up, right?