If Asian women are world-famous for having "white fever" and hating Asian men, what happens when they have a son who looks Asian? I happen. This is the blog of a Dartmouth educated Eurasian son of a racist, conservative, underemployed, conspiracy theorist white man and a Hong Kong woman who had "white fever," documenting the immense damage and abuse done over 20 years of living under one of the most hateful, racist pairings on Earth.
Asian women, who constantly talk about how inferior Asian men are – in real time, for half Asian sonswho aren’t even theirs to hear. So even the “so called” good couples still have children who are exposed to millions of these women. The question is – why would any half Asian be proud to be Asian as a result, or even worse, look ANYTHING like an Asian male? And many, many half Asians look TOTALLY Asian.
White men, especially the ones who are into Asian women. They just love to bash Asian men to make themselves feel bigger with Asian women. (Remember, it’s uniquely white men that are raising half Asian sons, so the children will try to live up to the father’s ethnicity).
So the question is why do half Asian sons try to play down their Asian heritage? I did this for ten years, and went practically insane as I looked more and more Asian. Again, I bullied full Asians, never grew my hair out longer than a couple weeks to avoid it being too dark, and when seeing my black hair fall on the barber’s smock I became almost instantly depressed.
I’ve listed dozens of cases, but I think this sums it up.
Elliot Rodger: “How could an ugly Asian attract the attention of a white girl, while a beautiful Eurasian like myself never had any attention from them? I thought with rage. I glared at them for a bit, and then decided I had been insulted enough. I angrily walked toward them and bumped the Asian guy aside, trying to act cocky and arrogant to both the boy and the girl.”
Daniel Holtzclaw: “How does that white dick taste?”
John Hamilton: “I’m Scottish below the belt.”
What are these women going to do when a woman – even an Asian woman – says the same thing to their son? This has been said verbatim to me, and other half Asian men I know:
“I don’t date Asian guys.”
And you wonder why half Asians with Asian mothers have literally produced nothing of merit, ever?
Despite having a mother who beat the shit out of me every day for twelve years and haunted my dreams for another fifteen – not once, not even once, did I ever feel the need to degrade or humiliate Asian women, for twenty three years – until I started this blog.
Elliot Rodger, De Grood, Nojan Sullivan were just the beginning.
It seems that the worst marital horror stories seem to involve White men and Asian women. Not only because of the depraved, fetishistic nature of it – but because of the amount of miscommunication, deep seated mistrust, and bizarre quality of the males involved.
I.e., Asian women, having very low standards for white males while living in Western countries, will gladly marry mentally unstable, unattractive or even violent white men n an attempt to properly integrate. Ironically – these are the men that go after Asian women largely because they are easy as long as you are white.
What seems to have been the case here is that his children looked Asian.
White men – oftentimes so racist as they want a submissive Asian woman, a replacement white woman – but wind up getting kids who look 100% Asian, react in unpredictable ways. Even worse is that Asian women (like my mother) seem to only value one quality – WHITENESS – for the purpose of integration and avoiding ethnic marginalization – so the relationship severely lacks proper foundation, which I’m sure Mr. Kerr realized after a while. Some Reddit comments on this sum it up. They talk about various aspects:
From the idea of White men being perturbed by the idea of his wife cheating on him with his “competition” – i.e., lowly Asian men, to his wife cheating on him with another white guy (since it’s not him she “loves”, but his whiteness).
Robert Kerr, 39, struck as his two sons slept upstairs in their Glasgow home, going on to make himself a hot drink while his wife Xin Xin lay dead
A lecturer fatally stabbed his wife to death 76 times after wrongly believing he was not the father of their children.
Robert Kerr attacked Xin Xin Liu, 39, at their home in the suburb of Newton Mearns, near Glasgow.
Kerr, also 39, killed his wife while his two sons slept upstairs.
The court heard how he then went on to make himself a hot drink while Xin Xin lay dead.
A judge heard how the mum suffered more than 70 wounds during the horrific killing in April this year.
Kerr today faced a murder allegation as he appeared at the High Court in Glasgow.
Prosecutors however accepted his guilty plea to the reduced plea of culpable homicide on the grounds of his diminished responsibility.
Kerr was suffering from “an abnormality of the mind” at the time of the fatal attack, the court heard.
This is his first offence, and he will return to the dock in November.
A group of Xin Xin’s relatives were in court today, with some weeping as the graphic details of her death were revealed.
The mum had moved to Scotland from China around 15 years ago to study law at Aberdeen University.
It was there she met Kerr, who was doing a computer course. They went on to get married in 2003.
Kerr was latterly a lecturer at West College Scotland in Paisley while Xin Xin was training to be a translator.
They were described as a “quiet and private couple”, but, in early April this year – weeks before the killing – Kerr had contacted his GP complaining of stress in respect of “work and personal issues”.
Kerr added he was suffering from anxiety, insomnia and spoke about “paranoid feelings”.
But just four days prior to the attack Kerr spoke to a nurse and said he had been feeling much better and appeared to be sounding “chirpier”.
It changed on April 26 when Kerr – wearing a dressing gown – fatally attacked Xin Xin as their children slept.
Just before midnight, he then dialled 999 and admitted: “I have just killed my wife. I murdered her in a stabbing frenzy.”
He went on to state there was “blood all over the place”.
Police discovered Xin Xin lying on the kitchen floor with a knife still in her body.
After being held, Kerr then told officers: “I found out tonight they were not mine.”
Jane Farquharson, prosecuting, said he had “suspicions” that a friend was the dad of his children.
Miss Farquharson told the court: “A paternity test recently carried out…has since confirmed that Robert Kerr is the biological father.”
A number of blood-stained items were found at the couple’s house including a milk carton.
The advocate depute said: “Kerr has since admitted that he had made himself a hot drink after this incident.”
A post mortem later revealed Xin Xin had suffered a total of approximately 76 wounds.
Because of the nature of WMAW – Its politics, its conservative nature, the weird, grabbish quality the white males lord over their children, the fact that these kids are being abandoned in droves by their racist white fathers. – I think it’s fair to point out that the hapa children of white men – without proper intervention from EVERYONE – are going to prove to be a national security risk.
I am a formerly well liked, handsome, outgoing, popular, Dartmouth educated Eurasian man born to a Chinese mother who sought out marriage into the powered WASP class – but then realized too late that the man she married was an underemployed, emotionally damaged, meek, conspiracy theorist male – and she essentially killed herself. At around age 20 I encountered anti-Asian racism and due to inheriting my father’s entitlement to the world, I was unprepared to deal with it; I am emotionally unstable, self-loathing, addicted, underemployed, have strong intimacy issues, and unable to form proper relationships due to my self-hatred instilled on me during the first 20 years of my life. Unlike other Eurasians who find self-esteem in underpaid modeling jobs, my self-implosion has been broadcast to the world to the point that I am internet famous. I am not afraid to be as viciously honest as I need to be in order to speak on the reality of this world.
If you don’t think this website is valid – go to Reddit.com/r/hapas, which received 9 million views in 2 years, and 1.1 million views in the first month of 2017. Also – find half Asians with Asian fathers and compare their behavior to those with Asian mothers.
Imagine being raised by two racists – your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks very Asian. Except you have a white father. Is it possible to raise a healthy child considering the loaded, white-worshipping nature of yellow fever and white fever? How can a biracial child be expected to be normal if he looks Asian, and the entire basis of his parents’ relationship was that the man not be Asian? How can Asian women outmarry at such high rates, have an open ‘white fetish,’ and expect Asian looking sons to be emotionally well adjusted?
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall (6’3″, skinny), red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man. She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers. She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” She did not and never did love my father, and only used him because he was white; their entire marriage was violent, loveless, and calculating.
This man was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is very socially conservative, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture).
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism (America), saw Asian women (including almost all of them in my own family) throw themselves at white men (the majority of whom are racists, Republicans, or short and or meek), and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. I subconsciously always believed myself to be “less” because my own mother and her sisters all were married to white men and adamantly denied I was Asian for a decade.
My parents’ relationship was loveless, violent and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years as he failed to make enough money, and grew balder and fatter and no longer lived up to the White male Prince Charming she had wanted (separate bedrooms, forced to sleep on the couch, extreme violent fighting). My brother and I suffered extreme psychological and physical abuse (beaten with coat hangers by our mother, Tiger Mommed, had her threaten to kill herself with a butcher knife in front of us, threatened to crash the car with us in it while driving at 90 mph), and her behavior became worse and worse as she realized that her white husband wasn’t making as much money as her brother and sister, who both married Chinese partners. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
When I got older, despite the fact that society told me that I was “unique” for being Eurasian, I was treated with contempt by both white people AND Asian people; Asian women would often express disgust at me for being Asian (scowling at me on the street, or smirking), and white people would constantly remind me that I was Asian in a way to demean and undermine me. This caused me to self implode from a popular, outgoing Eurasian to becoming a recluse and suicidal.
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage who clearly looks Asian, born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her. I am highly educated, formerly well liked, popular, handsome, out going and like many Eurasians I burned out in my twenties with the realization that people, even Asian women,hate my Asian side,so now I’ve turned my talents towards exposing the last bastion of White supremacy in the world as candidly as I can. I am literally dissectingWhite male / Asian women couples and the Eurasian identity to a degree that nobody else ever has.
I actually moved to China (which saved my life) in order to escape racism and feelings of inferiority – and was shocked on learning that my own mother (and many other Chinese) had moved to America in order to find the American dream – a dream that hated me for my Asian blood.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went.
I am doing this for every single half-Asian kid out there who has committed suicide, thought about suicide, suffered from racism, isolation, outcasting, and had two parents whose entire relationship was nothing but lust, selfishness, even hatred – leaving us with nothing but perpetual isolation. The world does not care about Hapa males if you look average or even a little bit Asian. The world – even Asian women, who truly believe that they are white – only care about whiteness and white men.
Here’s a question. Are there handsome Asian men? Yes or no.
Here’s another question. Did your wife want them? Nope, she did not. Do white women want them? Nope, they do not. Don’t believe me? Just look up any study on online dating.
So why the hell would anyone want a handsome half Asian when they could just get a handsome full Asian?
The “beautiful Hapa” mixed baby myth is essentially nothing but that, a myth. I will explain why in a logical manner.
Even if Hapas are good looking, the fact remains that your treatment still depends on how Asian you look. “I know well adjusted Hapas,” means you know Hapas who pass entirely as white.
I have noticed in my life that despite some women considering me good looking, calling me gorgeous, handsome, dashing and beautiful, there are still women that disregarded me entirely for my race and told me so. Why exactly I would differentiate between the hurt this caused me, and the fact the my mother was the same way – makes no sense to me. Why would I look at my parents and not automatically think “white worship” when I myself have experienced discrimation?
I recognize her and the women in my family as being just as repulsive. People here REALLY think that a half Asian son is able to look at his mother and father and NOT see a woman who rejected all Asian men, worshipped white men, and a man who leveraged his whiteness to get laid? You really think we Eurasian sons don’t look at an Asian mom, White dad, as an almost living parody of the stereotype of the western man and his geisha submissive bride? (Notwithstanding in my case my dad was legitimately a conservative weirdo and my mother an insane, status grubbing woman with dyed hair and colored contacts).
Newsflash: We ALL think like this, though we’d never tell you.
Also, for almost a decade I would look at repulsion at my Asian features in the mirror and had a borderline paranoia at looking Asian to the extent I considered dying my hair blond and wearing colored contacts. I would even cut my hair short for a decade for a fear of its natural dark brown / black color to come out. I wouldn’t even let anyone photograph me – let alone photograph me from the side, because my side profile vaguely represented that of an Asian man, and tell me exactly why I would want to be an Asian man?
I refused to look at photos in which I looked Asian (which I DEFINITELY DO) and would instantly balk and sulk at someone making a comment about how I looked Asian. This is DESPITE me living in China where I feel less paranoid about my appearance, but still get stared at by locals and treated as an outsider because of my unusual looks.
The fact remains that there are good looking Asian men – and Asian women are still rejecting them in favor of attractive, unattractive or ugly white men, which indicates that it isn’t the looks that is so much at issue but that white blood that is valued in us.
So essentially we’re told from birth that to look Asian as a man is to be incredibly disadvantaged even with the women that we would otherwise be able to use as a fallback if non-Asian women didn’t want us. So even Asian women don’t want Asian men – yet we look Asian, so how fucked are we?
Even if I were attractive, which I assume I am by what people have told me, I would still be vehemently opposed to anyone, or any woman, who told me that white men are better candidates for making babies than Asian men.
Why would I believe a woman (or my mother in this case) who told me that race wasn’t the issue, when all indications, especially the overall behavior of Asian women, indicates that this is the issue?
How the HELL could I ever accept this attitude from a woman – even my own mother and women in my family?
How the HELL could this ever lead to a mentally healthy attitude development in a Hapa child?
How the HELL could I possibly ever come to terms, now or later, with the undeniable fact that the womb that birthed me believed that white men – even one with less qualifications than an Asian man – would make a better father / sperm donor / partner than an Asian man?
And what people don’t realize is that half-Asians, in the eyes of most people, men and women, are still Asians.
People who make those distinctions, make no distinction between full and half, which is why Elliot Rodger still was unable to achieve the natural confidence that came with being fully white, and snapped because he was never treated as something he believed he was treated as.
This, what you read here, is the ultimate affirmation of a specific kind of psychosis that will manifest in Eurasian men more often than not, and I expect there to be more outbursts or otherwise negative behavioral patterns in Eurasians – even handsome Eurasians.
Essentially, the issue here is one of extreme nihilism: Asian women only value WHITENESS in their partners – to the extent that they grossly disregard personal development, character and intelligence, and this attitude, one that is at the same time, extremely lax towards white behavior, and stringent in its requirements for whiteness, is one that causes as massive, massive, massive dichotomy in the child, assuming he is straight, proud of who he is and determined to find a strong identity.
So now your half Asian son will be bullied, called a small dick chink, reminded of how he is Asian – and even worse, reminded of how millions upon millions upon MILLIONS of women who look like his mother hated Asian features. Good job folks, you’ve done it!
Most of the time Asian women marry white men because they don’t like Asian men and have a physical preference for white men. Asian women also dislike being associated with the Asian “gilded Ghetto” monolith, and want to feel “included” into the majority culture – so they marry white men at rates unmatched by any other ethnic group.
Half Asian men resemble Asian men.
In fact the majority of people don’t like Asian men.
Admit it: your wife / girlfriend is with you because she does not like Asian men. She is only attracted to tall white men.
They will say it’s because of behavior / feminism, but Asian male behavior (jealousy) is because Asian women don’t like the way Asian men look. Ask any Asian woman married to a white man and she’ll just say:
“I’m just not attracted to them.”
Asian women don’t like Asian men for the same reason MOST white women don’t like Asian men. They are Asian.
A half Asian son realizes this. He realizes that he is Asian too. It doesn’t matter how good looking he is, how talented, how intelligent – he will endure a lifetime of hearing “of course your mother is the Asian one,” and being perpetually second class in non-Asian society. He will endure jokes, endure racism, discrimination from society, see hundreds thousands of Asian women a year paired up with white men, face discrimination in dating, in work – and…
…his own parents will oftentimes be extremely racist against Asian men as well – yet he looks like an Asian guy.
Along with the millions of Asian women around him disliking Asian men, his own mother does too.Every single Eurasian person with eyes looks around him and sees how Asian women act around white men, fawning, complimenting – and Asian mothers expect us to not notice.Can we please just drop the charade and admit this is true?
How are half Asians supposed to somehow not notice that Asian women openly favor white men, that these couples are extremely narcissistic and have insanely eugenicist beliefs about their own children, and yet develop emotionally healthy?
If he looks Asian, then, well. Welcome to a life of bullying, confusion, resentment, depression, rejection from both sides, and perpetual low self esteem seeing Asian women like his mother paired up millions of times over with white men – yet he looks Asian.
He will be asked to take pride in the fact that his, and all his friends’ fathers are white, and asked to deal with the stereotypes of White men / Asian women and unable to distinguish between good and bad couplings. He will try to take pride in looking Asian but realizes that nobody, not his friends, not women, not his own mother, wants anything to do with an Asian male. He will be born into an anti-Asian society, look Asian, and recognize that even his own mother valued white men over him. It is the ultimate betrayal.
I’m sorry. Please, please, please stop lying about this.
“But half Asian babies are cute.”
And half Asian babies become Asian men when they grow up.
“Half Asian men are hot.”
They’re not all hot, and people won’t care that they’re half. Besides, you believed white men hottest. You turned down hot Asian men for white men, so why would anyone want a hot half Asian man?
“I know hot half Asian men.”
Nope. You know men who pass as white. When you figure out how to guarantee your son is 6’3″, let me know. And after all, you wanted a white man, not a half Asian man. Either that, or you know the son of an Asian male and a white woman.
“I know Asian men with white girlfriends.”
You know one or two, while you know five times as many Asian women with white boyfriends.
It’s a yes or no question. Does your loved one hate Asian men? Yes, or no.
Will you son be Asian? Yes or no. Simple question.
Miyoko Watai holds Bobby Fischer’s newly issued Iceland passport in Tokyo in this March 8, 2005 file photo. An Icelandic court said on Thursday Watai is the widow of Fischer and should inherit his estimated $2 million estate, which has been in dispute since his death in 2008. REUTERS/Files
I’ve mentioned this several times on my blog. If you don’t believe me, my dad has adamantly denied the Holocaust, has made comments about Jews being the anti-Christ incarnate, loved HAM radio and conspiracy theory radio shows, etc. He also has virtually no friends, etc.
Doing research today it turned out that Bobby Fischer, probably the most famous chess champion of all time, was also married to a Philipino woman and to a Japanese woman.
Is this coincidental? Is it coincidental that the majority of the time when you find a white man with a “passion” for Asian woman, he generally has conservative viewpoints, i.e., hates Islam, the Islamic takeover of Europe, hates western women, hates feminism, blacks, “mudsharks” (i.e., women who sleep with black men), and overall tends towards the right (as broad as the term is)?
Obviously not all white men involved with Asian women are like that, but this is a nice little tidbit that I think can help explain the imbalance.
From Fischer’s Wikipedia biography:
Fischer made numerous anti-Jewish statements and professed a general hatred for Jews since at least the early 1960s. Jan Hein Donner wrote that at the time of Bled 1961, “He idolized Hitler and read everything about him that he could lay his hands on. He also championed a brand of anti-semitism that could only be thought up by a mind completely cut off from reality”. Donner took Fischer to a war museum, which “left a great impression, since [Fischer] is not an evil person, and afterwards he was more restrained in his remarks—to me, at least.”
Although Fischer described his mother as Jewish in a 1962 interview, he later denied his Jewish ancestry. In 1984, Fischer denied being a Jew in a letter to the Encyclopaedia Judaica, insisting that they remove his name and accusing them of “fraudulently misrepresenting me to be a Jew […] to promote your religion”.
From the 1980s on, Fischer’s comments about Jews were a major theme in his public and private remarks. He openly denied the Holocaust, and called the United States “a farce controlled by dirty, hook-nosed, circumcised Jew bastards”.  Between 1999 and 2006, Fischer’s primary means of communicating with the public was radio interviews. He participated in at least 34 such broadcasts, mostly with radio stations in the Philippines, but also in Hungary, Iceland, Colombia, and Russia. In 1999, he gave a radio call-in interview to a station in Budapest, Hungary, during which he described himself as the “victim of an international Jewish conspiracy”. In another radio interview, Fischer said that it became clear to him in 1977, after reading The Secret World Government by Count Cherep-Spiridovich, that Jewish agencies were targeting him. Fischer’s sudden reemergence was apparently triggered when some of his belongings, which had been stored in a Pasadena, California storage unit, were sold by the landlord who claimed it was in response to nonpayment of rent.
Fischer’s library contained anti-semitic and racist literature such as Mein Kampf, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and The White Man’s Bible and Nature’s Eternal Religion by Ben Klassen, founder of the World Church of the Creator.A notebook written by Fischer contains sentiments such as “8/24/99 Death to the Jews. Just kill the Motherfuckers!” and “12/13/99 It’s time to start randomly killing Jews”. Despite his views, Fischer remained on good terms with Jewish chess players.
A notebook written by Fischer contains sentiments such as “8/24/99 Death to the Jews. Just kill the Motherfuckers!” and “12/13/99 It’s time to start randomly killing Jews”
At this point I am just putting out these posts to fill the gaps in the search engines for these issues, hence the excessive tagging… for a long time coming. The point of this site is to exist for at least another decade, and my ultimate goal is to make this into the premier website on half-Asian issues, replace all previous discussion of half-Asian issues (e.g., the Kip Fulbeck Camp, Hapavoices, etc.) and so far everything is going according to plan.
I need to reiterate that my dad is racist. He very much hates black people; when buying a Christmas gift yesterday I had to avoid making a certain purchase because I didn’t want to buy a very well known brand owned by a very prominent rapper (now owned by Apple). I went with a lesser known brand because I knew he would never use the aforementioned “black brand.”
My father is also a Holocaust denier, constantly talks about the immigrant crisis in Syria, refers to black people as “the blacks,” so on and so forth. Luckily he’s not a Trump supporter as he believes that Trump is overcome with greed – an anti-Christian principle.
Luckily my dad was never racist against Asians, but apparently there are a lot of white men in relationships with Asian women who hate Asian men even worse. The potential blowback for this is massive.
Anyways, racist white men often times seek out Asian women. Why?
A) Asian women are well known to defer to white men, rarely to black men.
B) Asian women are known for their “traditional values”; i.e., they love living in white countries, and are outspoken in their hatred for black people and are not notorious as white women (although this is a myth) for sleeping with black men.
C) Like Dylan Roof said, Asians are an “honorable race.” Hence their women are honorable women. The only basis for their “honor” would be their perceived value of whiteness.
D) White men with extreme racist views cannot attract white women; so they go for Asian women, who will forgive their views in exchange for whiter babies, (likely before summarily dropping their husbands, like mother did). The whiter babies will then be raised as white, like Marcus Epstein.
E) The largest irony is that Asians are seen as “genetically the most similar” to whites, (my dad has told me that “East and West are the same”), so the children have a much higher chance of looking white (or in my case, whitish), so it’s essentially killing two birds with one stone.
Do not fall for this! I will make sure this website dominates Google rankings from here on in to ensure that these crimes do not go unpunished! If you know people like this, cut them out of your life, but do not blame the children.
When you have a son, your privilege as a blue-eyed white male is thrown out the door.
Whereas, if your partner were constantly complimenting your blue eyes, your son will not be able to leverage his blue eyes in order to secure a mate. He will instead have to rely on different factors, and since the number of women, including Asian women, who openly favor Asian men, is much lower, this will be damaging to his emotional well-being. For every Asian woman who deliberately rejected Asian men, so forth will your Eurasian son be rejected. My clash with my monumental ego and narcissism, years back, where I was literally obsessed with my looks, sent me into a rage when I was rejected by a white woman for being Asian (I’ve mentioned this many times before).
On “beautiful Hapa babies.”
This is by and large a lie. All babies are universally cute, but this does not translate to being an attractive male. A desire for a beautiful baby is essentially on par with having a pet; hence you see many divorced Asian women (divorced largely because of their insane behavior, like my mother’s, wherein the child is part of a fantasy) using their children as status symbols. My mother constantly showed me off to her siblings and mentioned my tall nose and deep eyes whereas ostracizing my father, but again, this does not translate to necessary success in the future; it is borderline narcissism wherein the love for the child is not love per se, but love as long as [qualifications] exist.
If you do a youtube search for “half asian babies” you will find a number bragging about how their children have blue eyes; despite this being impossible, the idea that such white worship is prevalent is extremely, extremely troublesome.
My case was unusual. My mother seemed to like my brother more than me despite him being black haired, black eyed. She Tiger Mommed him more than me, but less cruelly; I began to think that it was because I was either born via C-section or because I didn’t look like her, or even some kind of resentment towards me. My memory doesn’t go back that far so I can’t figure out the reason for this yet.
On “beauty;” In fact, any person who will want to make the distinction (i.e., a person who doesn’t like Asians) will not differentiate between full Asian and half, even if you don’t look Asian. Go on any website discussing white looking Eurasians like Adam Smith or Cary Fukunaga, and the comments are there.
I’ve come across many Hapas who complained of feeling embarrassed while walking with their parents. I have experienced this too, but moreso, more when walking with my father (as my mother is dead).
Regardless of their intentions, (and I know my parents’ were bad), the assumptions made that my father was an Asiaphile, a loser, or couldn’t get a white woman are there. In my case, they were true, but I don’t think most people bother to differentiate when it’s so common. Obviously, there will be exceptions to this rule, particularly among less intelligent Hapas, like my brother.
It’s frankly impossible for a Eurasian to not notice the interracial imbalance unless they come from entirely white states.
I think many Eurasians that you meet on the street, especially the tall, good looking ones, tend to favor White women (if they can) out of a subconscious rejection of the “white-fever” and “yellow-fever” they are associated with by extension, in any major American city. Another thing could be their rejection of their Asian side, as it is obvious to them that looking Asian is frankly a death sentence. Part of me thinks that Eurasian women do this too, mostly out of a repugnance for their own mothers… if you go read some of the comments on this blog, there are a ton of Eurasian girls complaining about emotional abuse from their mothers.