If Asian women are world-famous for having "white fever" and hating Asian men, and Asians are the only group of people on the planet that have a wildly unbalanced outmarriage rate that only favors the women, what happens when they have a son who looks Asian? What happens when Asian women say "no Asian men," and Half Asian sons hear the same? I happen. This is the blog of a Dartmouth educated Eurasian son of a racist, Nazi-sympathizing, Holocaust denying, homophobic conservative, underemployed, conspiracy theorist, friendless, antisocial white man and a Hong Kong woman who had "white fever," documenting the immense damage and abuse done over 20 years of living under one of the most hateful, racist pairings on Earth. Former Neo-Nazi, former extreme racist, and yes, half Asian.
How did the daughter of the VP of Goldman Sachs, from a family worth maybe hundreds of millions of dollars, who went to church and played piano, wind up taking a bus to New Jersey to appear in the worst, most notorious and possibly illegal rape themed pornography – for the grand sum payment of $200?
Answer: it’s not so easy being mixed Asian when it’s a unique brand of anti-feminist, racist white dad with yellow fever, and an Asian mom who tries to weaponize you to turn you into a living, breathing status symbol!
Eurasians are a unique brand of crazy. It’s like we’re thrust into this world where we’re told to abide by our mother’s Confucian Tiger mom stringent controlling domineering bullshit – yet we’re also pretty keen on the reality of sexual dynamics and race, that we’re pretty much monkeys where vaginas (in our case, Asian vagina) goes to whoever’s in power, who is perceived as having the highest status, biggest dick, whatever. It’s pretty obvious that Asian women have low standards for white men and high for Asian men; otherwise the interracial gap wouldn’t be as bad.
ALL Eurasians with white fathers and Asian mothers, at one point in their lives, question why virtually all of us have white fathers. Some Eurasians can make a joke out of it; “oh, my dad had yellow fever,” while some of us look straight up Asian and get shot down repeatedly for looking Asian. We endure a lifetime of Asian jokes – but we’re half white – and told by our callously privileged Asian mothers to suck it up. More often than not, we get the sense that our Asian mothers believe that we are some eugenic master race – that we are better – because we have white fathers (note, we don’t say white mothers, as white mothers of half Asian children don’t practice eugenics).
And we get told, by our mothers, to just go through the motions; play an instrument, do well in school, be a good little Asian student – but we’re mixed and we have a white dad lording over us, so essentially – we have the Asian life plan, but also the brutal reality of recognizing that white males always win out over Asian males. I myself had a meteoric rise – until I started learning that even Asian women viewed me as an asexual Eurasian.
The incentive to be a well performing Eurasian guy, when we are being told, from birth, that we are better because we are whiter, that our fathers were white – that being Asian itself has no merit, and that only with white blood are we suitable members of society; well, the incentive is very, very low.
I’m not even going to voice how badly it fucks us up growing up under the most loaded relationship on this rotten fucking planet – but just imagine for a second what it’s like.
That being said, ladies and gentlemen who come to my corner of the internet, here is my all-time favorite Hapa. I wish I could meet this girl in real life. She’s like my twin, in terms of her background, her potential, and her behavior.
“Mayli”; that’s the name of the pornstar in the above photo. Father is a nice little Vice President at Goldman Sachs – the bank, in case you haven’t heard of it. Not many more big boy players in New York City than this dude. Penthouses, three thousand dollar suits, Mercedes, marble columns in their apartment – I know all this because my family is pretty rich too, I’ve been around this kind of wealth (not my mom and dad, but the Chinese family that married Chinese).
Mommy is a real nice looking, controlling Asian mom. Dad probably thought he was getting a good deal; (he’s Jewish, but blue eyed and has that weak, nice guy but probably when he was younger was a stocky, cocky short pseudo-arrogant shmuck that white women ignore but Asian girls loved). Sounds familiar to my story, one of a meteoric rise and fall from grace, where I was Ivy League educated, had immense potential, well liked, popular, thousands of friends, good looking, tall, top of my class, and then was hit so hard in the face with racial reality and confusion that I self-imploded furiously. Our backgrounds, one of higher education, Tiger Momming, faux-morality shoveled into our faces (right down to the violin / piano in church), are dead on point.
That was until “Mayli” did Facial Abuse and got face-banged so hard until she threw up. On camera. She did this for $200 and joined literal hookers in New Jersey to be on a porn site that even other porn stars don’t want to be on. Don’t believe me, Google it. NSFW.
The psychopathy of having a fetish couple as parents; Tiger Momming; emotionally vapid white fathers – or even pedophiles or other deviants (since lots of these guys love Asian women) – cultural confusion, hatred at our own physical features, physical confusion – all of it is really, really bad.
“Mayli”, if you ever come across this, reach out to me, let’s work together. I see you’re rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, partaking in some “culture.” We both know that you ain’t hiding what you did forever. Embrace it – you DESTROYED them. Everyone around you is such a feeble goddamn liar, pretending everything is alright, with their status, their flashy handbags, their educational titles – it means nothing to you. You let them know that there are consequences to doing what they did – it ain’t a victimless crime, and everything won’t be “all good,” any more. Your art really isn’t amazing but I could teach you some tricks, too, since I’m an artist too. I’m way too crazy to do anything else.
I’d give anything to have been a fly on the wall when your parents found out. I’d give anything for you to contact me. I actually, beneath all the sarcasm, actually admire you very much. That’s one hell of a family photo. Much better than the ones I’ve ever taken.
“Mayli” singlehandedly destroyed the myth of the dutiful little Eurasian girl – and I will destroy that of the Eurasian boy. She is my hero.
September 2016 edit.
It came to my attention that Japan’s most famous porn star, Maria Ozawa – literally the most famous Japanese pornstar of all time – was from an Asian mother and white father.
In what seems to be an equivalent attempt to humiliate and demean her parents – Maria Ozawa came home to her parents’ house with 20 of her pornographic videos and attempted to have her parents watch them.
I am a formerly well liked, handsome, outgoing, popular, Dartmouth educated Eurasian man – a literal brown haired, hazel eyed dream Hapa boy – born to a mentally ill, violent, Chinese mother who sought out marriage into the powered WASP class – but then realized too late that the man she married was an underemployed, emotionally damaged, meek, rapidly balding, hyper-racist, hyper-conservative conspiracy theorist male who was an “Asiaphile” who wanted a “traditional, chaste Asian wife who wouldn’t sleep with black men” – and she essentially killed herself. At around age 20 I encountered anti-Asian racism (ironically from Asian women in my own family and white “friends” who actually liked Asian women because they were easy) and due to inheriting my father’s entitlement to the world and being raised to be superior, I was unprepared to deal with it; I am emotionally unstable, self-loathing, deeply mentally disturbed, addicted, underemployed, have strong intimacy issues, and to this day still unable to undo the damage that the Eurasian myths and family’s racism did to me, and unable to form proper relationships due to my self-hatred instilled on me during the first 20 years of my life. Unlike other Eurasians who find self-esteem in underpaid modeling jobs, are gay, permavirgins, or leverage their half-whiteness to Asian women, my self-implosion has been broadcast to the world to the point that I am internet famous. I am not afraid to be as viciously honest as I need to be in order to speak on the reality of this world.
If you don’t think this website is valid – go to Reddit.com/r/hapas, which received 40 million views in 3 years, and 2 million views in the last month. Also – find half Asians with Asian fathers and compare their behavior to those with Asian mothers.
There are very specific issues with being the children of anti-feminist, racist, unattractive white men, and self hating Asian women who try as hard as they can to integrate and create white children, due to their hatred at their marginalization, and their hatred of their undefined facial features.
There are very specific issues pertinent to the “je ne sais quoi” of white men and Asian women, and the incredibly weird, unbalanced, uncomfortable, fetishized “dynamic” of “superior White man,” and “dainty, beautiful Asian woman.”
None of these apply to the children of Asian fathers. Almost every single part-Asian that people use to justify the superiority of Half Asians involves a Half Asian with an Asian father or grandfather (or both): Keanu Reeves, Dean Cain, Brandon Lee, and his father Bruce Lee. The reason why the sons and daughters of Asian men and white women fare better is simply because they are raised to not view whiteness as a superior entity; which both of my parents did, both of them being white supremacists.
Asian women specifically hate Asian men – and hope to create Eurasian children in order to raise their status; White men use Asian women as a means to get laid, provided that they are unable to do so with non-Asian women, whereby meaning that Eurasian childrens’ only value is to look as un-Asian as possible, meaning that Eurasian children are highly prone to mental illness, extremely racist parents, and broken homes. Failing to look attractive (our primary stereotype), means that many Half Asians just look Asian – which are essentially the bottom of the barrel in the racial hierarchy in the West. This also doesn’t take into account the extreme, cruel, controlling, demeaning, calculating nature of Asian women, where they explicitly hope their children look White, so that Asian women can feel “superior” in wresting the White woman’s status and power away from her at the side of the White man.
Asian women are the ONLY race that explicitly goes out of their way to attack men of Asian appearance in an attempt to integrate and raise their own value; they seem to pick lower status, unattractive white, and only white men, while Asian and Eurasian men will marry anyone, while Asian women only marry white males. Asian women will actually go out of their way to attack Eurasian men, as well, in a desperate attempt to bring Asian looking men down with them, and lower status, unattractive white men will use this as a ways to validate their whiteness – at the expense of anyone of Asian appearance, including Half Asian men. Asian women will attempt to control their Asian looking sons’ dating choices – pushing them towards Asian women; while white men who marry Asian women will act upon their insecurity and lack of control of their marriage, and lash out at Asian men, black men, and white women. Asian women are so unattractive that they pursue bottom of the barrel men of all races, men who are unable to get White women (their first choices), putting Half Asian children in danger. They will also go out of their way to ensure their flimsy “status,” my assaulting or attacking non-Asian women who are sympathetic to or even date Asian men, out of fear that the equal status of Asian men will reveal that Asian women are in fact not as good as they think they are.
Even Kip Fulbeck, king of all Hapas, admitted that the Hapa male process of self-hatred is such a problem, that it should be a cause for concern.
Imagine being raised by two racists – your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks very Asian. Except you have a white father. Is it possible to raise a healthy child considering the loaded, white-worshipping nature of yellow fever and white fever? How can a biracial child be expected to be normal if he looks Asian, and the entire basis of his parents’ relationship was that the man not be Asian? How can Asian women outmarry at such high rates, have an open ‘white fetish,’ and expect Asian looking sons to be emotionally well adjusted?
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall (6’3″, skinny), red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man. She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers. She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” She did not and never did love my father, and only used him because he was white; their entire marriage was violent, loveless (father sleeping on the floor for fifteen years), and calculating.
This man (a semi-famous paleoconservative Homophobic activist on par with the Westboro Baptist Church) was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white or non-Asian woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is very socially conservative, very racist against blacks, Hispanics and Muslims, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely over the top homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely distasteful of feminism, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture). His interest in Asian culture was largely dictated by his personality – in which he idealized Asian cultures as being more honorable and traditional, and mistook “white worship” (a cultural tick in which Asian women see themselves as less beautiful than white women and marry white men for status and integration), for “traditionalism” and “submissiveness.”
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism (America), saw Asian women (including five out of six of them in my own family, all of them, including my own parents divorced or separated – my mother being dead) throw themselves at white men (the majority of whom are racists, Republicans, or short and or meek), and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. I subconsciously always believed myself to be “less” because my own mother and her sisters all were married to white men and adamantly denied I was Asian for a decade.
My parents’ relationship, as was the case in every single one of my female relatives, was loveless, violent and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years as he failed to make enough money, and grew balder and fatter and no longer lived up to the White male Prince Charming she had wanted (separate bedrooms, forced to sleep on the couch, extreme violent fighting). The thousands of stories of Asian mothers taking their children back to Asia after finding out that America and the West are far from what she thought they were (run-down, poor, and racist) – and marriage to a weird, unconfident fetishist was less than what she expected – represent a commonality among Asian women. My brother and I suffered extreme psychological and physical abuse (beaten with coat hangers by our mother, Tiger Mommed, had her threaten to kill herself with a butcher knife in front of us, threatened to crash the car with us in it while driving at 90 mph), and her behavior became worse and worse as she realized that her white husband wasn’t making as much money as her brother and sister, who both married Chinese partners. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
The behavior of Asian women, in particular, is like nothing else on earth, to the point that you can see the majority of all stories about abusive parents on Reddit’s AsianParentStories sub – complain about the mothers, including the second generation Asian mothers – like Amy Chua – who metamorphosize into the Tiger Mothers that they hate, despite claiming to hate Asian men. Celeste Ng, a New York Times best-selling author, personally attacked me, after I pointed out that her book “Everything I Never Told You” was based on the broken WMAF families in her friends’ circle, yet she had written it about a family involving an Asian father. Asian women have proven themselves to be extremely hostile against non-Asian women, something out of their deep self-loathing and cultural proclivity towards integration and status, wherein love is secondary if not nonexistent in favor of maintaining status, face, and power over women who they view, deep down, as more beautiful than them. They will even go so far as to attack Asian male / non-Asian female couples, and force their Eurasian children (like me) to marry Asian, in an attempt to maintain an image of false superiority over non-Asian women; (e.g., that Asian women are the most beautiful, when they are not, and heavily rely on yellow fever and male desperation for their feeling of integration and desirability).
When I got older, despite the fact that society told me that I was “unique” for being Eurasian, I was treated with contempt by both white people AND Asian people; Asian women would often express disgust at me for being Asian (scowling at me on the street, or smirking), and white people would constantly remind me that I was Asian in a way to demean and undermine me. Several of my “friends,” who were engineers and nerdy, actually would take every opportunity to remind me of my Asianness, while sleeping with Asian women, as Asian women were all they could get. This caused me to self implode from a popular, outgoing Eurasian to becoming a recluse and suicidal. My insanity grew more and more pervasive as I fantasized about cutting out my eyes to make them deeper, refused to look in the mirror for five years,
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage who clearly looks Asian, born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her. I am highly educated, formerly well liked, popular, handsome, out going and like many Eurasians I burned out in my twenties with the realization that people, even Asian women in my Asian family,hate my Asian side,so now I’ve turned my talents towards exposing the last bastion of White supremacy in the world as candidly as I can. I am literally dissectingWhite male / Asian women couples and the Eurasian identity to a degree that nobody else ever has.
I actually moved to China (which saved my life) in order to escape racism and feelings of inferiority – and was shocked on learning that my own mother (and many other Chinese) had moved to America in order to find the American dream – a dream that hated me for my Asian blood.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went. Hapa males in particular need special consideration due to the fact that we have zero privilege, and yet are raised by two people who want privilege without having to do any of the work.
I am doing this for every single half-Asian kid out there who has committed suicide, thought about suicide, suffered from racism, isolation, outcasting, and had two parents whose entire relationship was nothing but lust, selfishness, even hatred – leaving us with nothing but perpetual isolation. The world does not care about Hapa males if you look average or even a little bit Asian. The world – even Asian women, who truly believe that they are white – only care about whiteness and white men.
Miyoko Watai holds Bobby Fischer’s newly issued Iceland passport in Tokyo in this March 8, 2005 file photo. An Icelandic court said on Thursday Watai is the widow of Fischer and should inherit his estimated $2 million estate, which has been in dispute since his death in 2008. REUTERS/Files
I’ve mentioned this several times on my blog. If you don’t believe me, my dad has adamantly denied the Holocaust, has made comments about Jews being the anti-Christ incarnate, loved HAM radio and conspiracy theory radio shows, etc. He also has virtually no friends, etc.
Doing research today it turned out that Bobby Fischer, probably the most famous chess champion of all time, was also married to a Philipino woman and to a Japanese woman.
Is this coincidental? Is it coincidental that the majority of the time when you find a white man with a “passion” for Asian woman, he generally has conservative viewpoints, i.e., hates Islam, the Islamic takeover of Europe, hates western women, hates feminism, blacks, “mudsharks” (i.e., women who sleep with black men), and overall tends towards the right (as broad as the term is)?
Obviously not all white men involved with Asian women are like that, but this is a nice little tidbit that I think can help explain the imbalance.
From Fischer’s Wikipedia biography:
Fischer made numerous anti-Jewish statements and professed a general hatred for Jews since at least the early 1960s. Jan Hein Donner wrote that at the time of Bled 1961, “He idolized Hitler and read everything about him that he could lay his hands on. He also championed a brand of anti-semitism that could only be thought up by a mind completely cut off from reality”. Donner took Fischer to a war museum, which “left a great impression, since [Fischer] is not an evil person, and afterwards he was more restrained in his remarks—to me, at least.”
Although Fischer described his mother as Jewish in a 1962 interview, he later denied his Jewish ancestry. In 1984, Fischer denied being a Jew in a letter to the Encyclopaedia Judaica, insisting that they remove his name and accusing them of “fraudulently misrepresenting me to be a Jew […] to promote your religion”.
From the 1980s on, Fischer’s comments about Jews were a major theme in his public and private remarks. He openly denied the Holocaust, and called the United States “a farce controlled by dirty, hook-nosed, circumcised Jew bastards”.  Between 1999 and 2006, Fischer’s primary means of communicating with the public was radio interviews. He participated in at least 34 such broadcasts, mostly with radio stations in the Philippines, but also in Hungary, Iceland, Colombia, and Russia. In 1999, he gave a radio call-in interview to a station in Budapest, Hungary, during which he described himself as the “victim of an international Jewish conspiracy”. In another radio interview, Fischer said that it became clear to him in 1977, after reading The Secret World Government by Count Cherep-Spiridovich, that Jewish agencies were targeting him. Fischer’s sudden reemergence was apparently triggered when some of his belongings, which had been stored in a Pasadena, California storage unit, were sold by the landlord who claimed it was in response to nonpayment of rent.
Fischer’s library contained anti-semitic and racist literature such as Mein Kampf, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and The White Man’s Bible and Nature’s Eternal Religion by Ben Klassen, founder of the World Church of the Creator.A notebook written by Fischer contains sentiments such as “8/24/99 Death to the Jews. Just kill the Motherfuckers!” and “12/13/99 It’s time to start randomly killing Jews”. Despite his views, Fischer remained on good terms with Jewish chess players.
A notebook written by Fischer contains sentiments such as “8/24/99 Death to the Jews. Just kill the Motherfuckers!” and “12/13/99 It’s time to start randomly killing Jews”
I’m back. This website is far too valuable to just give up.
I predict that in the future Asian women are desperately going to try to suppress any and all websites that pertain to half Asian issues…. despite mine existing as one of the most visible and me being proven to be the son of an Asian woman and a white man.
The methods they will use are this:
“I dated an Asian man once.”
“Asian women don’t belong to anyone.”
“We just fell in love.”
“We never saw race.”
How many times will this scenario happen?
An Asian woman will go through life chasing white men, a white lifestyle, badmouthing Asian men, and then once her children are born, and are in her arms, will say “I will kill anyone who says such horrible things to my son.”
To be born from an Asian woman who had a white fetish is the greatest humiliation on earth. While her life was easy, being easily integrated into Western society, as the sidepiece for white men, easily ducking overt racism and easily finding love, her son will face discrimination at every turn, be treated as a sexual non-entity, and be overcome with the overt racism that his own mother and father practiced within the home.
I say this with utmost, utmost sincerity: if you cannot see the irony of raising a child of color under the principal that his father must be, and only be white – and under the belief that white men, indeed are superior to Asian men: Abort your son. I’m begging you.
I’ve shown my face and been proven to be Eurasian. I am tall, good looking, educated, and I still would not wish the utter horror of being born Eurasian on anyone. This monumental burden of carrying the fact that your entire life was predicated on the very inability of Asian men to be seen as human beings. And I could go out, and pretend to be happy, to use my white privilege to my example, but I don’t, and I recognize my mother exactly for what she is:
A woman who betrayed herself in order to ingratiate herself to the West; and then had the AUDACITY to tell me to be proud to be Chinese, to be one of millions of Eurasians born exclusively to white fathers, in the hopes that we would become some kind of “master race.”
How is a master race of Eurasians, some more Asian looking than others, ever supposed to amount to anything when our own birth represented the victory of whiteness over Asianness? We expect to turn our backs on our Asian side and say, “yes, of course our fathers were white,” and live happy lives as a result? We’re supposed to just play second fiddle to white men, the perpetual reminder of how being Asian is a curse that will expel one from society? To endure racism, as an Asian man, knowing very well that our very own mothers contributed to it?
And so many people will say, oh, EurasianWriter must be a bitter full Asian man. No one could ever possibly believe this. But how could I not? The title of this website is “longing for death.” Originally it was planned as suicide so that I could demonstrate the real damage that Asian women were doing to their own sons… but now it remains as a perpetual thorn in their side.
When you have a son, your privilege as a blue-eyed white male is thrown out the door.
Whereas, if your partner were constantly complimenting your blue eyes, your son will not be able to leverage his blue eyes in order to secure a mate. He will instead have to rely on different factors, and since the number of women, including Asian women, who openly favor Asian men, is much lower, this will be damaging to his emotional well-being. For every Asian woman who deliberately rejected Asian men, so forth will your Eurasian son be rejected. My clash with my monumental ego and narcissism, years back, where I was literally obsessed with my looks, sent me into a rage when I was rejected by a white woman for being Asian (I’ve mentioned this many times before).
On “beautiful Hapa babies.”
This is by and large a lie. All babies are universally cute, but this does not translate to being an attractive male. A desire for a beautiful baby is essentially on par with having a pet; hence you see many divorced Asian women (divorced largely because of their insane behavior, like my mother’s, wherein the child is part of a fantasy) using their children as status symbols. My mother constantly showed me off to her siblings and mentioned my tall nose and deep eyes whereas ostracizing my father, but again, this does not translate to necessary success in the future; it is borderline narcissism wherein the love for the child is not love per se, but love as long as [qualifications] exist.
If you do a youtube search for “half asian babies” you will find a number bragging about how their children have blue eyes; despite this being impossible, the idea that such white worship is prevalent is extremely, extremely troublesome.
My case was unusual. My mother seemed to like my brother more than me despite him being black haired, black eyed. She Tiger Mommed him more than me, but less cruelly; I began to think that it was because I was either born via C-section or because I didn’t look like her, or even some kind of resentment towards me. My memory doesn’t go back that far so I can’t figure out the reason for this yet.
On “beauty;” In fact, any person who will want to make the distinction (i.e., a person who doesn’t like Asians) will not differentiate between full Asian and half, even if you don’t look Asian. Go on any website discussing white looking Eurasians like Adam Smith or Cary Fukunaga, and the comments are there.
I’ve come across many Hapas who complained of feeling embarrassed while walking with their parents. I have experienced this too, but moreso, more when walking with my father (as my mother is dead).
Regardless of their intentions, (and I know my parents’ were bad), the assumptions made that my father was an Asiaphile, a loser, or couldn’t get a white woman are there. In my case, they were true, but I don’t think most people bother to differentiate when it’s so common. Obviously, there will be exceptions to this rule, particularly among less intelligent Hapas, like my brother.
It’s frankly impossible for a Eurasian to not notice the interracial imbalance unless they come from entirely white states.
I think many Eurasians that you meet on the street, especially the tall, good looking ones, tend to favor White women (if they can) out of a subconscious rejection of the “white-fever” and “yellow-fever” they are associated with by extension, in any major American city. Another thing could be their rejection of their Asian side, as it is obvious to them that looking Asian is frankly a death sentence. Part of me thinks that Eurasian women do this too, mostly out of a repugnance for their own mothers… if you go read some of the comments on this blog, there are a ton of Eurasian girls complaining about emotional abuse from their mothers.
Why do Asian women love white men? Is it because Asian men are unattractive? Is it because Asian men are patriarchal assholes?
The answer is that it doesn’t matter; the outcome is the same. A Eurasian male. Having children and giving them a good life goes well beyond being able to have mutual attraction and having sex; and even if the mutual attraction is structured as such because of biological or political reasons, the fact remains that the child is still stuck with the outcome of being an Eurasian male (and more often than not, an ASIAN LOOKING MALE) born to a man and woman who cared little for the issues of Asian men.
So a lot of people have contrarily been claiming that I am either Asian, or fully White (which makes even less sense).
The truth is I don’t think I could mentally handle being fully Asian. I admit that I am partially biased after moving to China in an attempt to work and start a new life, under the assumption that I would be accepted.
When I first arrived in China, I was oddly enough in a phase where I believed that I was white – I thought literally by some divine miracle that I had managed to be totally white despite having an Asian mother. (I mean that I really believed this. I thought God had somehow “chosen” me; i.e., mental illness).
It was then later that I was constantly called “laowai”, and viewed as being a foreigner that I became self conscious; after that, I became more and more aware of the fact that as I got older, I looked more and more Asian, and when I photographed pictures, I looked Asian. When I gelled my hair – people would mistake me for fully Chinese, or at least “you look like a Chinese” (in broken English).
It then dawned on me why for so long I had attempted to hide my heritage and if indeed I was privileged – but yet not privileged as the blue eyed / blond haired men that are fabled to run around Asia getting thousands of lays.
It then dawned on me that the combination of all of these factors found their root in having a mother who was just like the Asian women I saw around me who chased foreigners; my insecurity and flirtation with white supremacy all stemmed from a deep seated self hatred and from the lack of having parents who were able to instill proper self esteem in me, and even if they had the subconscious micro aggressions that I as a Hapa receive from White males and Asian women around me are a constant reminded of exactly who I am, and who I am not.
Frankly it DOES NOT MAKE SENSE that a Hapa child can have healthy development since these relationships are so common and often times so vile; and I challenge anyone to really answer the question why these relationships are so common and how the children born from them are able to be raised by two people so diametrically opposed to their own self interests.
The above picture describes my parents to an absolute T.
2016 update: I stopped, then started to continue to add people to this list because the news keeps aggregating and aggregating. 2016 has seen several national news stories featuring Eurasians – every single one with a white father and Asian mother.
Does anyone want to explain why virtually every single Eurasian / Hapa who commits a crime has a white father and an Asian mother?
The single largest mixed race demographic on earth – all uniformly born to white fathers (literally the last people on earth who understand what it’s like to be non-white) and Asian mothers (literally the last people on earth who care) – the only predictable factor among a million unpredictable social elements.
Could it maybe have to do with the fact that SOME of the people who get involved in these relationships present us with a highly politicized relationship involving the superiority of white men, passive aggressive myths about Eurasian beauty and abilities, and psychosexual microaggressions designed to demean Asian people? While my father never badmouthed Asian men – I can only imagine being the son of raceplayers, or women who make a show of their distaste for Asian blood. And I had it bad.
Not all, of course, but let’s be honest that there are many Asian women who chase white men out of a passionate hatred for Asian men, and there are white men who are happy to sleep with them, disrespect the hell out of their Asian partners, not thinking that their son will look totally Asian. From the Sarong Party Girls, to the LA valley girls who dye their hair… where does this all lead besides some of us being in a really bad place… and there are some incredible selfish white guys who get off on being worshipped for their whiteness and think that their children won’t have problems. Really? Really?
So, it dawned on me that Asian women intent on marrying white men would never stop. So I realized something; as someone coming from a background of a miserable household and a mother who married for race and status, and also married to a very sweet girl who told me she would never have dated me had I not been Chinese, I’m in a pretty good position to air the dirty laundry of the Tiger Moms and race climbers of the world; because now, I have the comparison.
From here on in I will literally use this blog as a platform to reveal the naked truth about a coupling that masquerades as colorblind and progressive yet is so common simply because it is neither colorblind, and is also regressive, reeking of colonialism, colorism, and a long history of white men being seen as the most desirable. Dishonorable? Unfilial? Who cares?
Ever wonder why Asian woman / white male couples look so unhappy compared to Asian / Asian couples? My parents were miserablefrom day one, and do you want to know why? Because the marriage was based on hate, not love.
(Yes, obviously there are exceptions. But the ones who marry for race, this should be pinpoint accurate).
I thought I would break this down fairly simply here.
The relationship is based on the whiteness of the male. Yes, this is true. I know this purely through observation, including my own parents. Sometimes the white male is “decent looking”, rarely “good looking,” and more common plain and even ugly. My father was also “coincidentally” approached by my mother during a language class, and he “coincidentally” was 6’3″ and white with blue eyes. On this basis, there is really nothing else ensuring the stability of the relationship other than the fantasy of having a white partner. The expectations are monumental.
Necessarily, a good, sane human being would not disqualify a person of her own race. I know this now given my experience with a woman who loves Chinese men, is traditionally attractive, comes from a stable, loving family, loves children, and harbors no mental issues; versus my own mother who deliberately sought out a white man and was extremely mentally deranged. A lot of white men will mistake overt affection for love, when the real end goal was to get a whiter baby (if you don’t believe me, just ask your Asian girlfriend / wife and examine her response and if it refers to “beautiful Hapas” or “beautiful babies”).
Mother comes from a history of abuse; her father beat her and her four siblings pretty badly. My wife was hugged constantly as a child and pampered to the high heavens.
While not unattractive, my mother was “decent,” with double eyelids, brown skin, and a square-jaw – not really the Chinese ideal. I suspect that having a white husband was a good way for her to one-up her siblings and her friends.
Mother comes from a family that is fairly obsessive about status and money; hence their immigration to the US during the mid-60’s and the almost bizarre infatuation with Ivy League schools.
If she was “innocent” in her love – would she not have sought out someone within her own culture or a male that was not stereotypically white? I ask this because white men oftentimes criticize white women who “only date black men,” yet when an Asian woman throws herself at a white male, this is excused and no indication of a character flaw.
Mother will change her last name to her husbands as a badge of her “integration”, yet in some cases (more common now) they will keep their Asian last names hyphenated (like my cousins) to maintain an image of being attached to their Asian side yet fully supportive of the supremacy of whiteness.
The relationship isn’t pure because unbeknownst to the male, the relationship is based on his race rather than any redeeming qualities. Obviously he doesn’t realize this, even years after the fact or after he has been divorced / nagged to death / cheated on. He enjoys getting sex at the beginning and feeling praised for his eye color / European features without realizing how this indicates a strong mental imbalance or superficiality in a woman; moreover, the guy can oftentimes get off on the fact that the woman has a “strong personality,” or is controlling and even relatively unstable; a good example is to notice the behavior of these couples in public, where oftentimes they seem emotionally distant or angry.
If the relationship was not based on the whiteness of the male, then Asian women wouldn’t be dating them in such high numbers, and WMAW couples could sit down to dinner without seeing four-five other WMAW couples at a time.
Oftentimes the relationship is based off of “rebellion,” desire to “escape” Asian culture, a history of sex-abuse or sex-work, a history of familial violence, personality quirks, extremely vicious personalities (my cousins and aunts who are with white men are constantly verbally abusing their partners even when they are not there)or hygiene issues; out of all my mother’s siblings, there are two with really atrocious personalities and nagging health problems, my mother, and her “best friend” sister, who also was married and divorced twice to white men. Her other two sisters have been married to Asian men since the late 60’s. I recall one story of my friend back home who told me had hooked up with a Korean girl and that her feet smelled so bad he threw her out; given that I think I’m culturally predisposed to being disgusted by body odors and hygiene, these women seek to date out.
After a year or two of marriage (which comes with a demand for an extremely extravagant wedding and ridiculous demands; my cousin’s wedding, for example, cost $40k, while mine cost nothing), the woman begins to reveal her true colors, withholding sex and becoming increasingly naggy.
After the child is born she will stop paying attention to the husband, since he was merely an accessory for her during their dating phase, and start Tiger Momming the child and become obsessive about money. I noticed this immediately when looking through a photo-album of my childhood given to me as a gift last Christmas; after about 4-5 years, my mother deliberately distanced herself from my father, and in the pictures of them together, he would often be staring into space or off at the floor while she was talking with her siblings and Asian friends. Her demands for purchases become more and more extreme and she will start comparing herself with her sisters / friends for the lifestyle she feels she deserves
Since she wasn’t of the “best stock” to begin with (as arguably the best women wouldn’t discriminate on race), her gradual frustrations and mental problems showed through as I grew older, making my brother and I beat each other with coat hangers, forcing us to stand in the corner for hours playing the violin, pulling a knife on us and threatening to kill us and slit her wrist, driving the car up to 90 miles per hour with us in the back seat, threatening to kill us by driving into a lake or into the wall, etc. I had recurring dreams about her driving into water, until I began writing this blog, after which they promptly vanished.
Separate bedrooms / sexlessness was the norm for the entire relationship.
She would confide in me that my father was lazy, fat., etc; often telling me directly how he “would eat sugar directly out of the bag,” “couldn’t look anyone in the eye,” “would cover his face while eating to conceal his disgusting habits,” etc.
The combination of being extremely Tiger Mommy and the child’s cultural confusion in looking nothing like his father and witnessing perverse racial dynamics where an otherwise aloof and indifferent father exercises “domination” over an Asian woman yet himself is unable to provide proper guidance for an Asian looking child, leads the child to either lash out or demonstrate unusual and passive aggressive behavior. Combined with being rejected by full-Asians as well as by full-Whites means an extremely traumatizing experience.
Anyone who has ever met a Eurasian person with a white father will recognize this immediately. This manifests in certain ways, such as extreme insecurity, an over-inflated ego, unbearable personalities that seem rooted in deep issues, or other odd “ticks”.
The biggest insult is how these women (and their husbands) attempt to make their children “proud to be Asian,” by sending us to Karate classes, signing us up for Asian language classes (I was signed up for Chinese / Cantonese classes), taught how to use chopsticks at age 3, despite their younger peers creating the atmosphere of Asian hatred. I.e., Half-Asians go out in the world and see Asian women openly attacking Asian men – so where does our trust for our parents go?
Obviously most Hapas don’t want to admit that their mothers did in fact favor or use white males to their immediate advantage in securing a better life style / status / whiter children, since to do so would be to embrace a terrible kind of nihilism that was beyond anything else that the human mind can rationally absorb.
More funny is the anger that posts such as this generate from certain parties, usually because it’s absolutely spot on. I’ve been there, done that, so I know exactly what the mentality is. Whatever you do, do NOT blame Asian men for the behavior of Eurasians in the future!