If Asian women are world-famous for having "white fever" and hating Asian men, what happens when they have a son who looks Asian? What happens when Asian women say "no Asian men," and Half Asian sons hear the same? I happen. This is the blog of a Dartmouth educated Eurasian son of a racist, Nazi-sympathizing, Holocaust denying, homophobic conservative, underemployed, conspiracy theorist white man and a Hong Kong woman who had "white fever," documenting the immense damage and abuse done over 20 years of living under one of the most hateful, racist pairings on Earth. Former Neo-Nazi, former extreme racist, and yes, half Asian.
Once in a while I will see a video featuring a teenaged Hapa making a big fuss about being Half Asian. You never see kids rapping about being “half White half Persian” – they just exist, and don’t feel the need to brag about it.
Note: “In the Philippines… they like the lighter skin / American girls… they like the darker skin….. to be honest I’m not sure how it works.”
You never see other mixed races doing so. The reason why half Asians are so arrogant, is because:
Asian moms and women will hype up Eurasians to the point that their self-image is completely inflated between 14-24 or so. Other races don’t have women in their family saying “so handsome” to average looking or even ugly half Asians just because of vaguely European features.
Most of these guys just look Asian, or in many cases, completely non-white, like Mexican, Turkish.
In their 20’s, a lot of Eurasians will face racism at the fact they are not white, and this will conflict with their 20-year brainwashing that they are better because they are half white, or that they are superior Eurasianss. This applies to dating and work; but in dating, for example, a lot of Eurasians will feel nonplussed at the fact that white women don’t want to date men who look like Mexicans – or Asians, for that matter, and this causes them to snap or burn out.
People always joke with me. They say “you were SO cute as a kid – what happened?” And it’s true. Being cute as a kid doesn’t equal being a cute adult.
Now why would a Hapa be depressed looking Asian and walking around the city and seeing thousands upon thousands upon thousands of Asian women with white men? And nothing resembling himself?
White men and Asian women love to play the victim – that they are “under attack.” It’s an added bonus for white men – they can enjoy sex and “love” while claiming to endure racism… which isn’t true, since guys like my father are the most racist and use their “colored wives” as examples of their non-racism. My dad has adamantly campaigned against homosexuals his entire life.
Society supports white men (who can just exist) and Asian women (who have high sex appeal) – but doesn’t give a shit about half-Asian males – which their children are.
Understand who the real victims are – half-Asian sons. Don’t let Asian women fool you. Those girls you see sitting in Manhattan outside under a chic restaurant canopy, ten years down the line they start panicking and nagging tall skinny white guy to sign little Bobby Hapa up for karate class.
My parents had few friends. Know why? Nobody liked them. They tried to keep up the image of a happy WMAW family but everyone knows it’s not love. If you know couples like this really examine them and make your own decisions.
I am a formerly well liked, handsome, outgoing, popular, Dartmouth educated Eurasian man – a literal brown haired, hazel eyed dream Hapa boy – born to a Chinese mother who sought out marriage into the powered WASP class – but then realized too late that the man she married was an underemployed, emotionally damaged, meek, rapidly balding, hyper-racist, hyper-conservative conspiracy theorist male who was an “Asiaphile” – and she essentially killed herself. At around age 20 I encountered anti-Asian racism (ironically from Asian women in my own family and white “friends” who actually liked Asian women because they were easy) and due to inheriting my father’s entitlement to the world and being raised to be superior, I was unprepared to deal with it; I am emotionally unstable, self-loathing, deeply mentally disturbed, addicted, underemployed, have strong intimacy issues, and to this day still unable to undo the damage that the Eurasian myths and family’s racism did to me, and unable to form proper relationships due to my self-hatred instilled on me during the first 20 years of my life. Unlike other Eurasians who find self-esteem in underpaid modeling jobs, are gay, permavirgins, or leverage their half-whiteness to Asian women, my self-implosion has been broadcast to the world to the point that I am internet famous. I am not afraid to be as viciously honest as I need to be in order to speak on the reality of this world.
If you don’t think this website is valid – go to Reddit.com/r/hapas, which received 11 million views in 2 years, and 2 million views in the last two months. Also – find half Asians with Asian fathers and compare their behavior to those with Asian mothers.
There are very specific issues with being the children of anti-feminist, racist, unattractive white men, and self hating Asian women. None of these apply to the children of Asian fathers.
Even Kip Fulbeck, king of all Hapas, admitted that the Hapa male process of self-hatred is such a problem, that it should be a cause for concern.
Imagine being raised by two racists – your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks very Asian. Except you have a white father. Is it possible to raise a healthy child considering the loaded, white-worshipping nature of yellow fever and white fever? How can a biracial child be expected to be normal if he looks Asian, and the entire basis of his parents’ relationship was that the man not be Asian? How can Asian women outmarry at such high rates, have an open ‘white fetish,’ and expect Asian looking sons to be emotionally well adjusted?
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall (6’3″, skinny), red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man. She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers. She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” She did not and never did love my father, and only used him because he was white; their entire marriage was violent, loveless (father sleeping on the floor for fifteen years), and calculating.
This man (a semi-famous paleoconservative Homophobic activist on par with the Westboro Baptist Church) was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white or non-Asian woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is very socially conservative, very racist against blacks, Hispanics and Muslims, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely over the top homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely distasteful of feminism, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture). His interest in Asian culture was largely dictated by his personality – in which he idealized Asian cultures as being more honorable and traditional, and mistook “white worship” (a cultural tick in which Asian women see themselves as less beautiful than white women and marry white men for status and integration), for “traditionalism” and “submissiveness.”
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism (America), saw Asian women (including five out of six of them in my own family) throw themselves at white men (the majority of whom are racists, Republicans, or short and or meek), and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. I subconsciously always believed myself to be “less” because my own mother and her sisters all were married to white men and adamantly denied I was Asian for a decade.
My parents’ relationship, as was the case in every single one of my female relatives, was loveless, violent and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years as he failed to make enough money, and grew balder and fatter and no longer lived up to the White male Prince Charming she had wanted (separate bedrooms, forced to sleep on the couch, extreme violent fighting). My brother and I suffered extreme psychological and physical abuse (beaten with coat hangers by our mother, Tiger Mommed, had her threaten to kill herself with a butcher knife in front of us, threatened to crash the car with us in it while driving at 90 mph), and her behavior became worse and worse as she realized that her white husband wasn’t making as much money as her brother and sister, who both married Chinese partners. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
The behavior of Asian women, in particular, is like nothing else on earth, to the point that you can see the majority of all stories about abusive parents on Reddit’s AsianParentStories sub – complain about the mothers, including the second generation Asian mothers – like Amy Chua – who metamorphosize into the Tiger Mothers that they hate.
When I got older, despite the fact that society told me that I was “unique” for being Eurasian, I was treated with contempt by both white people AND Asian people; Asian women would often express disgust at me for being Asian (scowling at me on the street, or smirking), and white people would constantly remind me that I was Asian in a way to demean and undermine me. Several of my “friends,” who were engineers and nerdy, actually would take every opportunity to remind me of my Asianness, while sleeping with Asian women, as Asian women were all they could get. This caused me to self implode from a popular, outgoing Eurasian to becoming a recluse and suicidal. My insanity grew more and more pervasive as I fantasized about cutting out my eyes to make them deeper, refused to look in the mirror for five years,
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage who clearly looks Asian, born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her. I am highly educated, formerly well liked, popular, handsome, out going and like many Eurasians I burned out in my twenties with the realization that people, even Asian women in my Asian family,hate my Asian side,so now I’ve turned my talents towards exposing the last bastion of White supremacy in the world as candidly as I can. I am literally dissectingWhite male / Asian women couples and the Eurasian identity to a degree that nobody else ever has.
I actually moved to China (which saved my life) in order to escape racism and feelings of inferiority – and was shocked on learning that my own mother (and many other Chinese) had moved to America in order to find the American dream – a dream that hated me for my Asian blood.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went. Hapa males in particular need special consideration due to the fact that we have zero privilege, and yet are raised by two people who want privilege without having to do any of the work.
I am doing this for every single half-Asian kid out there who has committed suicide, thought about suicide, suffered from racism, isolation, outcasting, and had two parents whose entire relationship was nothing but lust, selfishness, even hatred – leaving us with nothing but perpetual isolation. The world does not care about Hapa males if you look average or even a little bit Asian. The world – even Asian women, who truly believe that they are white – only care about whiteness and white men.
Do you want to understand Asian people? Then go right to their source: their own children, and since so many of the modern incarnations of Asian people in the west are multiracial, let me explain what we have to go through.
Literally, go seek out any mixed family and see how the mother suddenly tries to push her kids into Asian activities (I was pushed into learning Mandarin, doing Kumon, Taekwondo), see how her toddlers openly express disdain for anything Asian, look at how the mothers all seem to hyphenate their names in a last minute push to reclaim Asian identities, yet the fathers all look the same. The majority of our fathers are white.
If you don’t believe me: just leave your house and see for yourself.
The entire thing is largely an exercise in irony.
Let me explain. Do you recall the philosophical statement made on the first season of True Detective? That “time is a flat circle?” I don’t recall the actual origin of the statement but we’ll work with that.
Asian women, in the present, actively create a miserable environment for Asian men, and make it so that identifying as Asian is essentially romantic and social suicide. Literally ask any Asian woman about this and she will admit to have attempted to cause as much pain as possible to an Asian man in her youth through her words and actions.
She will claim it is about feminism, yet any deep digging and pressure will reveal something that they themselves – and only themselves – know behind closed doors – that they are simply not attracted to Asian men, they fetishize white features (tall noses, and light colored eyes) or worse, that they inherently recognize that white men provide a better chance at societal acceptance. (The last part, i.e., about social acceptance, I have noticed after moving to Asia and realizing that the majority of Asian women actually do not date white men because of their low social standing here; hence feminism has nothing to do with it, as any intelligent woman would recognize that there are good and bad within each race).
The feminism part comes as a convenient way to dispel criticism for their non-attraction to Asian men, wherein it is easier to blame Asian men for being bitter; but any group would be bitter if they were told they were essentially genetically, romantically, socially worthless.
When an Asian woman gets older and has a child (like Deanna Fei), the majority of the time the child will endure racism. She will try to teach the child to be proud of his or her heritage, all the while doing this surrounded by Asian women also married to white men.
These white men are completely unable to understand why a half Asian child would be romantically and socially spurned by men and women alike; after all, it never occurred to him that his partner was with him specifically because he was white, and even if he did, he was getting laid.
So in actuality unmarried Asian women in the present create an environment hostile to their half Asian children in the future – all the while passively attempting to claim ownership of hapas. Time is a flat circle; all events happen at once.
The irony is immense. Just incredibly, incredibly immense.
All of my Chinese New Year events growing up were filled with white men looming over their Asian wives and girlfriends… And yet I was supposed to have developed a subconscious appreciation for my Asian side? Is this why I cut my hair short for years to avoid its black texture and color from coming out?
If anything Asian mothers have no right to tell their children that they feel guilty about us not wanting to embrace our Asian side. These mothers created the atmosphere – in their past and present – that deliberately penalized Asian blood.
What’s even worse is that being Eurasian is actually so emotionally and psychologically traumatizing for so many different reasons that even I can’t understand (being subconsciously castrated is one, wanting badly to be white but failing is another), that…
When Eurasians do act out in horrible ways, it’s not our white side that gets blamed. It’s our Asian side! Despite Asian men having almost zero bearing in our real lives; aside from my uncles who I saw once a year at Chinese New Year, I was raised entirely by my white father.
So even then, even in our darkest hour, our own collective motherhood is against us. And they know this is true, and like anyone else, they attempt to control the discussion, justify their actions while minimizing any blame and responsibility for creating an atmosphere (so, so, so many Asian women act like this) wherein their own sons are confused, don’t know why their confused – all because their mothers could not admit they were simply more attracted to white men.
Just imagine the sense of betrayal looking Asian and seeing Asian women like your mother reject people who look like you en masse. It no longer has to do with feminism – it has to do with open 1960’s style racism and then being told by them that “we are not entitled to love, life, or happiness.” Even black, Latina, and other minority women are fully aware of this – hence the divide between Asian feminists and other feminist groups.
We don’t have any books to help us, we don’t have any outlet other than saying; oh, well, yeah, then I guess Asian men are really undesirable, so then, I’d better identify as white as I can, or spend the rest of my life lonely, and since feminists say that I am not entitled to anything – well, certainly that must be true; I am worthless.
It’s much worse than being a tragic mulatto. It’s ten times worse, and eventually the chickens will come home to roost.
For my readers: please try to understand the horror of being a half Asian born into a pairing that is deeply, deeply, unfathomably racist at its core, and yet trying to navigate this without going berserk somewhere down the line. And even if it’s not racist, it’s at best a biological paradox where Asian women despise the thought of touching an Asian male physically – and yet their own sons are half-Asian and supposed to accept this.
It’s essentially biological slavery.
It’s a scheme. A very, very vicious scheme that only the most depraved Asian women would allow to exist.
With that being said, there are plenty of aware Asian women out there who understand this basic principal. The problem is that they’re not the ones having Hapa kids by the millions.
My blog originated in 2014. In 2009 I was at the peak of my “crazy” behavior (i.e. losing 60 pounds in 3 months, having extreme body image issues as a man, and overall attempting to be white).
In 2009, people were already noticing this. If any of the readers here actually went out and met some Hapas, they would start noticing certain patterns.
Largely – it’s a difficult proposition to navigate the world as a half-Asian child, born under the conditions that white fathers were better than Asians. Look at it from this perspective.
Your half Asian son sees white women laughing at Asian men – then sees Asian women laughing at Asian men – and then sees his own mother married to a white man, and all her friends married to white men.
If my readers think that this line of thought is largely limited to me, or this blog, you’re sorely mistaken.
Any white fathers / Asian mothers who believed that they were truly innocent would be attempting to nip this in the bud now, rather than wait. But in actuality, this is the truth:
These people actually do believe that white men are superior – yet raise half Asian children. The probability of us being resentful of our parents, angry, mentally unbalanced or manic depressive is very, very high.
Anyone who has ever spent a significant time around Asian women realizes that there are more than a handful who have nothing but vitriolic and vile hatred in their hearts for Asian men. This probably has something to do with their failure to find them attractive (for physical reasons) so they essentially treat them as antagonists.
As if this were not problematic enough, these same women eventually go on to marry white men, and produce half-Asian children. These half-Asian children are exposed to the following elements:
Vitriol from Asian women
Massively unbalanced interracial dating
Constant attacks on Asianness by Asian women in relations with white men (the same ones who date white men yet still have to make the inferiority of Asian men well known)
The fact that they themselves naturally require a healthy identity in order to function yet Asian maleness was categorically attacked from the beginning; making healthy identity impossible.
A nihilistic sense of self worth where their entire usefulness is dictated by how Asian or un-Asian they look.
This in turn is producing millions of unhealthy Hapa children.
They literally are creating a Catch-22 for their own sons, wherein they demonize Asianness, yet produce half-Asian sons, and then forbid them from complaining about being brutally reminded of their own inferiority (see the Esther Ku remark above or this one below):
Even more obvious is the fact that when Asian women are confronted with this, their usual arguments are “we owe Asian men nothing,” “it is not our duty to find Asian men attractive;” which are all true.
However, as these same women are going to give birth to sons and can offer nothing more than off-the-bat platitudes and a complete lack of concern for the mental state of CHILDREN, it is necessary to deduce that:
These women (and men) are literally the last people on earth suited for raising half Asian children, especially men. By being so adamantly opposed to introspection they are actually proving me right in implying they are not suitable for motherhood / fatherhood. A mother / father’s job is to care wholly for the wellbeing of her child, lest she produces a societal-detriment, which we are already filled to the brim with.
So what is happening now is that Asian women are attempting to level the blame onto half-Asian men in the present, in order to immunize themselves in the future from their own self blame, which will happen.
However, the real blame needs to be leveled on two parents, an Asian woman and white man (again, oftentimes a man, like my father, who enjoys feeling “superior” over rejected Asian men; or in many cases, just worshipped for his race unjustly whereas he feels white women failed to do so), who do not care for the mental health or spiritual wellbeing of their own sons, a demographic they are callously bringing into the world by the millions, a demographic that is destined to explode in what I call: The Hapacalypse.
We have already seen in two years such violent outbursts from Hapas, all with Asian mothers and white fathers. There will be more coming.
On this date, December 14th, 2015, remember that I, a Eurasian, specifically blamed the dynamic of White Men and Asian Women for creating a demographic of monsters.
I no longer am concerned with appealing to Asian women. I am concerned with appealing to you, my non-Asian readers, to recognize these people for what they are. This is not a “progressive” pairing. It is racism. Please, please, please recognize this before it is too late. Do I have to remind you about how my mother commented on my high nose, light eyes, repeatedly, while concurrently having a massive blowout at my father for harboring anti-semitic, Holocaust denying views?
Yes, I am Eurasian / Hapa / half-Asian, yes I am real, and no I won’t show my face right now out of fear for attack and retribution. This will happen eventually. But please, please, believe me.
It doesn’t matter how many Asian women deny this; by this blog even existing and popping up after virtually any “half-Asian” search (and within a few months it will be the number one search result), this becomes a problem for society as a whole, and ideally it will ruin the social lives and society’s view of these pairings rather than them being hoisted up as being progressive.
There is no “white-only” Asian woman on the PLANET who would admit to this being a plausible issue; but it doesn’t matter – all I have to do is sway public opinion to my side using reason and truthfulness, and then the whole roof will cave in. That means: appealing to non-Asians, blacks, whites, Hispanics, Muslims, etc. You all know well the adage of the “pen being more powerful than the sword.” You want world peace? Then dismantle the goddamned systems of power and hierarchies that exist in so called “free countries” and stop valuing your own selfish needs for five goddamned minutes.
Being biracial is an incredibly complex issue, especially considering when the majority of biracial people tend to fall along similar lines of parentage. It is oxymoronic for any bi-racial group to develop a healthy identity when it is saturated with latent implications of racial-gendered superiority and inferiority.
(In layman’s terms, do you really expect millions of Hapas, born overwhelmingly to parents who thought Asian men unattractive – let’s be honest, that’s what’s going on, and surrounded by Asian women who hate Asian men, are going to be normal?)
Hypothesis: The frequency of the relationships between White males and Asian women (as opposed to the infrequency of the relationship between Asian men and White women) is primarily based on the uniform higher status, higher economic standing or biological desirability of white men…
…the intentional or unintentional universal undesirability or lower status of Asian males – explaining the monumentally unbalanced interracial dating ratios. Eurasian sons, in particularly, are largely considered Asian men and fail to benefit from the social and sexual freedom (i.e., not being stereotyped as misogynist and / or asexual) their fathers had, unless they are extremely lucky, and live with the baggage of a peculiar kind of pairing that is weighed with heavy sociological implications.
Regardless of any politicized or non-politicized belief, politically correct or not, the fact remains from both empirical evidence provided by Eurasians (not by white men or Asian women), and data aggregated by /r/Hapas, that Eurasians are still constantly reminded that they are of less value than white men, even by women who will someday become future mothers to Asian looking Eurasian sons and even by the men who themselves are the fathers to Asian looking Eurasian sons.
(I just went through some of my drafts and noticed several posts that were stuck in limbo for months. I just published them now. More thought on the subject).
Breakdown of the Hapa Situation
Asian women, belonging to a minority group, and also being naturally paired with one of the least physically / socially attractive groups of men, seek to date out, and are able to by virtue of their possession of female sexual organs that are naturally highly sought after by men regardless of the race / appearance of the possessor.
Asian women will chase white men because they are seen as A) exciting, B) exotic, C) less socially stringent / reserved, D) taller and better looking or E) because they want social acceptance.
Asian women will seek out white men – oftentimes the tallest and most pale / blonde partners available, sometimes for the status, but more likely so that they can have taller / whiter children.
On a purely evolutionary scale, this sounds perfectly reasonable. The downside is that we aren’t dogs, who merely accept their status as dogs because they are unable to consider otherwise.
The child, particularly if it is a boy, has a relatively high chance of looking Asian, exactly like the type of man his mom sought to emasculate. (I will discuss what happens if he does not)
Shortly after marriage, the woman will become passive aggressive and controlling, as her marriage to her man was primarily based on his race and status; necessarily, many of the women who exclusively chase white men are also careerists or social butterflies who realize an Asian male partner would relegate them to a cultural ghetto.
Since the marriage was never based on love, but more so on the hatred of Asians and Asian features, the marriage itself relies heavily on the white man’s ability to provide a fantasy / ability to provide whiter kids or a complete erasure of Asianness.
Sexlessness is the rule in White male / Asian women marriages, despite sex being prevalent in the beginning in order to ensure marriage. My parents slept in separate bedrooms for fifteen years! My entire life!
Extreme nagging and concerns over money become more and more common; the white male never noticed these issues because he was happy to get laid. The white male must be able to provide the white male Prince Charming ideal or the marriage will dissolve into nagging!
Naturally, any sane Asian woman with reasonable demands and expectations for a life would have been happy with an Asian male in the first place, but no White man would EVER have considered this.
If the child looks Asian, then:
He will come to internalize the negative stereotypes associated with Asian males, and have no outward recourse to find solace in his identity, as his own mother oftentimes had spent her entire life living on her privilege of being a woman.
Often times the mother will be disappointed that the child doesn’t have “a tall nose, round eyes, white skin,” etc. Sound familiar?
The boy’s father will have little clue how to raise an Asian looking child and the claims for the child to “just be nice” will have no consequence, as Asian men, well known for being the nicest and most reliable of all men, were rejected by Asian women en masse, of which the mother was (regardless if she admits it or not) complicit in. (This isn’t “nice guy-ism” as I was a huge asshole growing up, look majority white, and have gotten laid as a result. I have also been turned down by women on merely hearing that I was half Asian).
The child will be begin to associate being unlovable with looking Asian, as his own mother, as do many Asian women, displayed much lower standards for white males as she had for Asian men.
The mother will sometimes level micro-aggressions against the child, as her fantasy of being white and being accepted into the white hegemony clashes violently with her possession of an Asian looking child, which, in some cases, would make her, in the wider “white world view”, just another asian woman with an Asian child.
She will then begin to negotiate, in her mind, her child’s appearance, comparing it to full Asians, and start plying the child to go into acting (see, Modern Family), or modeling, as a way to reinforce the myth that the Hapa is more beautiful than its full Asian counterparts.
The father may sometimes be emotionally distant from the child, or, lacking understanding of the situation, unsympathetic to racism.
The son oftentimes will just look like an average Asian guy; when this happens, he will go to no ends to justify his parents’ relationship in his head despite these couples being so common. Obviously, his mother will call him handsome, as do most mothers, but society will treat him differently, and he will have a sharp and painful collision of respect for his mother who feeds him, and his anger at being treated like an Asian male by Asian women.
If the son is over 6’2″, generally he will be able to surmount these difficulties (generally).
If the son looks totally white, more often than not he will just ignore these issues.
If the son is gay (which seems to pretty common), or closeted, he will deny these issues since he can readily find sex and acceptance at the drop of the hat. I believe that Eurasians tend to be gay at an elevated rate because of the subconscious emasculation that happens in their brains.
So a lot of people have contrarily been claiming that I am either Asian, or fully White (which makes even less sense).
The truth is I don’t think I could mentally handle being fully Asian. I admit that I am partially biased after moving to China in an attempt to work and start a new life, under the assumption that I would be accepted.
When I first arrived in China, I was oddly enough in a phase where I believed that I was white – I thought literally by some divine miracle that I had managed to be totally white despite having an Asian mother. (I mean that I really believed this. I thought God had somehow “chosen” me; i.e., mental illness).
It was then later that I was constantly called “laowai”, and viewed as being a foreigner that I became self conscious; after that, I became more and more aware of the fact that as I got older, I looked more and more Asian, and when I photographed pictures, I looked Asian. When I gelled my hair – people would mistake me for fully Chinese, or at least “you look like a Chinese” (in broken English).
It then dawned on me why for so long I had attempted to hide my heritage and if indeed I was privileged – but yet not privileged as the blue eyed / blond haired men that are fabled to run around Asia getting thousands of lays.
It then dawned on me that the combination of all of these factors found their root in having a mother who was just like the Asian women I saw around me who chased foreigners; my insecurity and flirtation with white supremacy all stemmed from a deep seated self hatred and from the lack of having parents who were able to instill proper self esteem in me, and even if they had the subconscious micro aggressions that I as a Hapa receive from White males and Asian women around me are a constant reminded of exactly who I am, and who I am not.
Frankly it DOES NOT MAKE SENSE that a Hapa child can have healthy development since these relationships are so common and often times so vile; and I challenge anyone to really answer the question why these relationships are so common and how the children born from them are able to be raised by two people so diametrically opposed to their own self interests.
We’re not stupid and any Asian looking person who has ventured out onto the social scene in the last 40 years knows pretty damn well how Asian women talk about Asian men and treat them like they don’t even exist.
Guess what, your kids are now going to look Asian. How Asian they look is entirely up to the luck of the draw; some of them like me get more Asian as they get older eventually crossing the line into full blown Asian looking. Guess what – I have been rejected several times for being Asian. I spent years trying to hide my Asian heritage just to be taking half as seriously as the white males you idealized for so long.
So now I assume you all get involved in “Asian programs” and “Asian cultural groups” to instill some self esteem in your kids; in other words you’ve hit the breaks on your hate and went fully backwards. Guess what: it doesn’t work. Just go all the way and teach them to be white, which will make them even more mentally ill.
If you HONESTLY think that any Asian looking Hapa isn’t keenly aware of the interracial dating imbalance as well as how Asian men are shown in the media, then you’d better work really hard to prove that Asian men are attractive too….. oh wait. You can’t.
Because their fathers are all universally white.
It doesn’t matter, 15 years later, 20 years later, this content will remain and the word will have gotten out. Now, suddenly, after you have kids, they start being called chinks and laughed at by girls – the same exact way you acted when you were young while you and your white boyfriend were coasting by in life; what are you going to do? Pretend it never happened?
Unfortunately having the luxury of acting on your “preferences” means that your own children won’t benefit from preferences and now you’re going to have to explain to them why many of your sisters in race also dislike Asian males… you’d better fully hope that there are some white girls who will take them, but we all know that depends on how the kid looks.
We’re not all 6’4″ Julien Kang lookalikes.
The bubble finally burst, some 20 years after the first Hapas were born. Better start writing blogs and crappy parenting articles about raising Hapa kids, maybe they won’t think about how much poisonous shit you talked about Asian guys when you were young. Or do what other mothers do, start plastering your Hapa kids all over the internet like they’re fashion accessories: that will really make them mentally healthy.
Oh wait, let me guess – you’re going to tell them, “at least they’re better because they’re half white.” Because that’s REALLY a great way to raise your kids.
Seriously, enjoy the next 20 years, if anything I’m sure my parents did. Not.
Don’t believe me? I have my childhood picture on my blog. I’ll post another one and maybe even reveal who I am to prove the point. It’s literally only a matter of time before someone pinpoints me as the source because of all the Asians in the US, my family are top feeders. You think I care about it? No, no I do not, because the things you are doing is beyond atrocious, and I plan to devote my life to exposing it.