If Asian women are world-famous for having "white fever" and hating Asian men, and Asians are the only group of people on the planet that have a wildly unbalanced outmarriage rate that only favors the women, what happens when they have a son who looks Asian? What happens when Asian women say "no Asian men," and Half Asian sons hear the same? I happen. This is the blog of a Dartmouth educated Eurasian son of a racist, Nazi-sympathizing, Holocaust denying, homophobic conservative, underemployed, conspiracy theorist, friendless, antisocial white man and a Hong Kong woman who had "white fever," documenting the immense damage and abuse done over 20 years of living under one of the most hateful, racist pairings on Earth. Former Neo-Nazi, former extreme racist, and yes, half Asian.
Go out on the street or go find some half Asians that you meet. How many have White dads and Asian moms? 80%? 90%? 95%?
Why are all the Half Asian boys walking around single, while all the Asian girls walking around with less than stellar White men?
Imagine having your own mother shove it into your face from the day you are born that you are better because you don’t look Asian – and that white men (including your very unattractive, balding, shy, meek, autistic, underemployed, alt-right, racist white dad who couldn’t land a decent white woman but really did want one, but couldn’t get one) are more handsome and stronger and more successful – except society sees you as an Asian guy.
What happens to the sons? Why are so many successful Hapas the ones who either are 6’4″ and above, the ones who pass as white (none of them), and the ones who have Asian dads?
No wonder so many half Asians brag up and down about being the “master race” yet can’t find a girlfriend, and nitpick each other for looking more Asian, and wind up having violent mental breakdowns like Daniel Holtzclaw, Krit Mclean or Elliot Rodger on the realization that literally everyone, including their own mothers, hates Asian males, and their own fathers are spending all of their time talking about how minorities are bad and how Asian women are submissive and support the white man and fulfill family values that White women can’t.
When a white man and an Asian woman have a child – the child is an Asian man, or at best bears the same “effeminate qualities” that Asian women hate.
There is no half and half on this. Society sees you as Asian – and you see yourself as Asian, yet your mother herself expressed explicit sexual preference against Asian men.
Her “preference” reflected the preference on the whole of Asian women, white women, and virtually every other kind of woman out there. Asian women know this is true – they admit it behind closed doors that they are not attracted to Asian men.
So now, your son is Asian. Welcome to a world of extreme depression at the biological reality. Just wait until he gets shot down by Asian women and white women with “sorry, I don’t do / like Asian guys.”
Looking through Youtube I saw a number of videos and channels with half-Asian male figures. It is extremely obvious that all three of them possess “gay” mannerisms. I am not cherry picking. Just go on Youtube yourself and search “half Asian.” About half will be gay, the other half won’t look that Asian or will be extremely good looking, hence appearing on Youtube in the first place.
I fully support gay people and cast no judgment on them.
What I do suggest is happening is that half Asian women are seen by society as a lot more desirable than half Asian men. It’s no secret that women like “manly” men and by no coincidence Asian men are not seen as manly.
Half Asian men, as a result, go crazy like me, commit suicide, become violent, pass entirely as white (very rare) and settle down with an average looking Asian or white girl, or become gay, if they weren’t gay already. Half Asian women obviously marry white men the majority of the time, leaving half Asian men in the dust.
Gay half Asians are essentially just as valuable to white men as half Asian women. Straight half Asian men have a hard time even just surviving – especially when their Asian side is so harshly looked down upon, so many of them hype up their white side to no avail.
I have a theory that because of the anti-Asian male nature of the parents’ relationship, a lot of half Asian men become extremely confused sexually at a very young age, and start to undergo psychological pressure that may or may not shape their sexuality to be “feminine” like the mothers.
See for yourself. I am not actually cherry picking. This is what happens when you look up “half Asian” on Youtube. An INORDINATE amount of them seem to have these mannerisms or are perpetually single while their Hapa costars are dating white men.
The above host is small boned, clearly Asian looking, and obviously gay or bisexual.
Questionably gay as well, in his mannerisms and method of speaking.
White men and Asian women aren’t friends to other minorities, no way, no how.
It’s not a coincidence that the White man and Asian woman pairing is the most common interracial pairing in the world – and might eventually outnumber White man / White woman couples.
It’s no coincidence that I am one of millions upon millions upon millions of Eurasians with white fathers and none from the other way around.
The reason for this?
It coincides with the rise of feminism, and the rise of higher standards among White women, whereas now – average white men like my father see and saw Asian women as being a proper substitute for white women. They get the “white skin,” and the sex and affection that white women don’t want to give average white men.
Asian women, to my father, were seen as being filial, family oriented, and traditional, and less promiscuous. My father is socially conservative, has nothing but vicious shit to say about current modern Western civilization, how the west has fallen.
In fact, it might not even seem this way to the white men, but as they are exposed to more and more Asian women, they just find Asian women easier to obtain than white women – for whatever goddamn reason. And, well, Asian women are the closet thing, “plus they don’t have the attitude.”
Also because of my father’s fear of black men and his countless comments about them, Asian women are well known for avoiding black men.
So essentially the Asian woman is “The White Man From the 1950’s” wet dream – literally.
I recall my grandmother said of my father: “your father doesn’t realize that the 50’s are never coming back.”
A good example of my father’s behavior: refusing to watch movies made after the 40’s, refusing to see any movie that features a single curse in it, refusing to read any and all books written after 1850 or so (the Flappers were too much for him, I guess), believing the Jews run Hollywood, etc., etc.
Now, for the Asian woman, in finding a white man she finds herself the ability to integrate into her new home – a land she finds superior to her old one. After all, Europe, in the Asian woman’s mind, is exactly what she sees in movies, on TV, and the European man is an image she can latch onto.
Rather than settling for an average Asian man, she can settle for an average white man, milk him for money, and enjoy a white lifestyle. She gets to say she has a white husband, and Hapa kids, but don’t get it twisted: she doesn’t love her husband, never loved him, and never will love him. If any white guy reads this just ask her if she would love you if you were Asian. Is that true love? Ich don’t think so.
(Some Asian women, for whatever reason, like my mother, are almost completely soulless. These white guys don’t seem to realize that if a woman is dating outside of her race exclusively she’s probably mentally deranged or completely amoral.)
A “white lifestyle” is essentially identical to the one that used to be occupied by the white soccer mom, who for some reason, in the minds of white men like my father (i.e., most white men), became unattainable or unmanageable back then.
Essentially the Asian woman gets to pair off with the white man – and they both get something out of it. The white man gets his “traditional” Asian wife (which essentially means less promiscuous, even though knowing my Asian American cousins this is far from the truth, but with my mother, she certainly was less promiscuous and didn’t have sex with my father at all).
The Asian woman gets her “white dream life”, whiter children, her fantasy of being white and supplanting the white woman at the white man’s side. It’s not about love at all. It’s about an image: the New American Gothic. They try to give off a vibe of being happy but they’re not. After marriage my mother just completely berated my father for failing to match up with what she expected – a European Prince.
These people are NOT – and I repeat – NOT FRIENDS to other minorities. They have nothing in common with other minorities.
WM/AW is pushed as progressive. IT IS NOT. My mother and father would fill my head with stories about black people saying that I should avoid them based on what kind of clothing they were wearing because this meant that… wait for it…. they were diseased.
Essentially WM/AW is the textbook 1950’s picket house fence marriage all over again.
Never, ever, ever, rely on a Hapa son of a White man and an Asian woman to be socially responsible, ever. As I said, I tried my damndest to be as white as possible when I was younger. I even considered dyeing my hair, I posted on extremely racist white websites, I made a black girl cry by dropping the word “nigga” to one of my white friends… but I’ll get into this later.
Any Asian woman reading this will know this is true. Some, who like Asian men, will read this and agree. Some, who like white men, will read this and get angry, but they know it’s true. For some reason, black women agree almost 100% of the time.
Asian women love an image.
My mother is Chinese and my father tall, blue eyed, bearded, white, with a strong jaw, a large physique, hairy arms.
But they didn’t love each other, and they never did; all they did was fight; all she did was nag him; insult him, degrade him, over, and over, and over. She used him to make herself feel better compared to her Asian peers and siblings. To feel like she was just as good as those blonde girls she saw in catalogues. White guys will deny this till the end of time but they don’t understand Asian culture. How cutthroat it is to one up your sisters, your peers, your friends. If you get a white husband you can do that. Better yet a tall, light haired husband.
My parents had no friends; none of my mothers’ sisters have friends because they are extremely bitter, nagging, abusive people who constantly hit, slap, punch and insult their white husbands – every one of whom would be considered a less attractive, meek, white man, definitely the type who is unable to get white women.
I am a Eurasian son of a tall white guy and a cutthroat, soulless Asian woman so I have no reason to lie other than to voice my outright disgust for some Asian women and white men, and my embarrassment belonging to this demographic.
I don’t like Asian women. I in fact, hate how they openly support white supremacy and support white men who use them as a means to reaffirm white superiority – while laughing at Asian looking Hapa men on the street.
Asian women see that they have high value in the eyes of people like my father. All they have to do is play a game, market themselves as being traditional, subservient and get their “white lover.”
Conservative white men who are “sick” of the “liberated” behavior of white women. “Liberated” behavior pretty much just means: white women won’t be with me because white women have too high standards. They don’t like my meek behavior.
Asian women have high standards too.
But to them, a white guy is just a way to circumvent their search for a high standards Asian guy, and “white men” are just a step up, because they’re white. They have blonde hair. This is better than any Asian guy.
Asian women feel better about this. They feel like they’ve “made it.”
But they don’t love the man. They present an image of their marriage to the outside world but inside their homes they nag the shit out of the guy, they bully him, they pressure him to put on a show for their friends. Asian women are bottom of the barrel, mass-produced, white-worshipping trash and yet they expect their own children not to notice.
Look at the photo of my parents. My dad staring blankly at the table while the sisters chatted away. He was an accessory, a means to an end, that’s all. Why is it when you see Chinese women married to white guys, the child is shown off like a handbag – the husband nowhere to be seen? Why is it when you see these couples in public, between the bouts of PDA that makes everyone uncomfortable, they seem miserable?
They will have sex with him a few times but only as long as he keeps up the image.
Look at how many Asian women love taking trips to London and Paris, taking pictures of the buildings. This is just an image. Nothing else. The white man makes them feel like they’re just as good as the Parisian buildings, the Parisian street scenes they’ve seen in movies.
Years ago my mother took a trip to Paris, and she brought along her sister. Her sister, also, was conveniently married to a white man, and a tall one (divorced now). My dad stayed back in the office.
Their third sister was not married to a white guy. She is now a VP at a very large, very powerful investment bank and owns some of the top tier property in New York. Her husband is Chinese. She’s a devout Christian as well and arguably the prettiest in the family.
My mother? She died, she essentially willed herself to death, years after becoming so irate at my father for failing to match up with the “American dream.” He made only $40,000 a year. He was going bald. He couldn’t afford to take her on trips to Paris anymore. He even refused to live in Manhattan for fear of Jews and blacks, the place my mother loved.
When my dad went to go visit his family in his country bumpkin small town, my mother would scream about how she hated it, how she hated that small little town, where there were no street lights. She would beg to go back to Manhattan.
It wasn’t love. She only “stuck” with him as long as he provided an image. After all – she wanted a white man, so any white man could have done.
I’m surprised she didn’t cheat, to get what she wanted. And at the very end, right before she died, she hated him so much for not providing her the life she thought she could get with a 6’2″ or 6’3″ white guy, like she saw in the movies. Like many insane Asian women, she threatened to kill herself in front of me, and my brother; by holding a butcher’s knife to her arm. She would drive our car up to 100 mph on the highway and threaten to crash. She would throw knives at the wall and whisper in my ear before bed about how worthless my father was.
My wife does not like white men. She is Asian. The reason for this is as follows: she has told me that she wants “security.” She wants a quiet life where she can just raise her babies and enjoy a quiet existence. Very different from those women who dream of living abroad and mingling with white people to feel as if they’re better than their peers.
And now, as their son, I’m perpetually stuck in between. Being proud to be Asian is just ridiculous at this point. To this date, I still remember the horror of feeling so completely alone around white people, seeing Asian woman after Asian woman throwing herself at white guys. I had to actually go off to an Asian country to die, due to my self-hatred; a self-hatred instilled in me by the people around me, in my own family.
And now and then when I feel “proud” to be Asian I just think back to that moment that I realized that I was completely abandoned by the same people who are creating people just like me. Any pride just slips away. I was robbed of a life because my mother had a fetish – that she had to marry a white man, raise me in a racist country; a white man, just because he was white, and turned out to be (since most white men prefer white women) a loser, and left my brother and I with nothing; no bed to sleep on, no roof over our heads, a father who didn’t work, and Asian looks to be humiliated and rejected over, and over, and over.
“Small dick stereotypes won’t affect my son. He won’t have self esteem issues. He is better than the full Asian males my wife / girlfriend refused to see as potential partners. He will feel like a man growing up with a white father and an Asian woman who hated Asian men. He won’t have any problems dating. It’s about feminism! It’s all about feminism! Which is why half Asian guys despite having White dads are treated as non-sexual objects!”
As an Asian looking half Asian male, you have pretty limited options.
Believe your mom when she tells you you’re the most handsome, you’re a sweet little Eurasian boy, you just need to go to school to be treated as equal to white males. Ignore open racism and just “pretend” that your mother (and all her sisters) was different because she put food on your table. Become a thirty year old virgin before settling as another Asian girl’s second choice. Most Hapa males know that Asian women want a white man first, but failing that, they can get the next best thing – a substitute, counterfeit white male – a Eurasian son.
Asian women swear up and down that Eurasian males are incredibly beautiful – so why don’t they marry them? Why do Asian women – on seeing an Asian passing Eurasian male on TV, say “Asian? No thanks!”
Go gay. (And take a white lover). Again, not always a conscious choice, but one that I believe may be influenced by the male child’s emasculation by birth. Imagine looking like an Asian boy watching women who look like you pretty much belong to white men, being openly supportive of a hierarchy that places big burly white men at the top, and men who look like you die alone. It can definitely influence your sexuality.
(In before one of the usual full-Asian men comes in here telling me to suck it up. Your life is entirely different. You get laid? Congrats. You don’t endure the childhoods we do, whereby you actually have the mentalities and confidence required you to push through. Many of us are literally castrated sexually, emotionally and psychologically from birth.)
If you know of a half Asian kid growing up in the middle of Arkansas or New Hampshire, keep an eye on him; even, feel sorry for him. Trust me on this. I’ve been through it. Been through the rejection for my Asian blood – even though I didn’t think I was Asian. The anger at my black hair. The anger at my Asian features.
Imagine this: Asian women are known for “worshipping” white males, they are known for hating and laughing at Asian guys, Asian guys are seen as weak bitches with small penises, society hates you and constantly torments you for being a weak bitch with a small penis – and then these racist white men and Asian women (who hate Asian men even more) give birth to Asian looking sons…. with white fathers?
Even worse is these white daddies tell their sons “it’s all in your head, take responsibility for your actions” when their sons get humiliated at school, rejected by women; they raise them in uniformly white areas, with no biracial or Asian friends. Their mothers, being privileged as hell because white America / Europe loves Asian women, can’t possibly fathom that her totally Asian looking son has issues – nor does she care.
Half Asians are the ONLY group of non-white people being raised exclusively by White fathers – so while their mothers think that “they are white” because white men treat Asian women like they are white, the children are not. Everything these children will do in the future will reflect the fact that Asian woman explicitly support the idea that whiteness is superior to Asianness.
Just let that sink in for a minute.
Asian women – who by all extents are highly valued by white men for their perceived submissiveness to whiteness – literally dream of pairing up with “superior” white men, raise them in an environment that hates Asians, and then their kids look totally Asian. Does that make sense?
The United States Health Department itself released data almost 13 years ago stating that mixed-race Asians (I’m guessing the vast majority have Asian mothers) are around ~84% more likely to commit suicide than mono-racials of any group.
Oh, b-b-b-b-ut my son won’t be like that! I’m a good father! My son will have high self esteem since I’m an expert on looking like an Asian male!
Here’s more for you. These are actual peer reviewed, funded studies backing up everything I say on this website.
The reason why Eurasians are at high risk for suicide?
White, privileged fathers unable to properly guide children in navigating a white supremacist society (let’s face it – even racists know that white supremacy is real)
The half-Asian son / daughter still looks Asian but faces discrimination from society and has no outlet for it
Racial bullying… uncaring parents (the Asian mother has high sex value in society, essentially she gets her white partner, the privilege that comes with it, and doesn’t want to be stressed at her own son’s lack of it)
The entitled Asian mother used her vagina to her advantage in getting a white partner to raise her stature or survive, with zero concern for how this reflects on the child, who is constantly reminded that he’s Asian and that “of course [his] mother is the Asian one.”
The half-Asian son looks Asian, and is repeatedly reminded that he is inferior to full whites by his own mother
Sociopathic Tiger Mom who belittles Asian blood and submissively plays up whiteness
Callous parenting by both parties, telling their children to “suck it up.”
Insane degree of fetishization, white worship, Asian-inferiority, race-playism, sexualized racism (i.e., Oriental vagina, white dominant penis) affecting the mindset of the child… the male child becomes the enemy of the parents, either reminding the privileged mother of her Asian blood, or of the men she feels superior to, or the daughter being mistaken for the father’s girlfriend.
Self hatred; i.e., the child wishes they were white for simplicity or convenience purposes
White father, Chinese mother. Posted on March 23rd, 2016.
“I hate my father, he’s a really, really bad person.”
“My Shanghainese family are extremely selfish.”
Father is obviously nowhere in the picture.
The girl calls herself “little princess,” yet this is probably a name given to her by the Asian women in her family, who obviously see a Eurasian child and being the monumental, soulless egotists that some Asian women are, deem her a princess – because she’s half white.
But no – they also remind her that she’s not Chinese.
Despite the fact that she looks very Asian, like most Eurasian children do. This confusion – being treated as Asian by white people, dropped off completely alone in a racist white country, and then told she’s not actually Chinese causes her immense internal pain.
Again, egotistical, sociopathic Asian women (especially from big cities) whose only goal is to gain status and integration with their white (and ALWAYS white husbands) are responsible for throwing another Eurasian down the well.
What the HELL are we supposed to do? Why do we have this horror foisted onto us?
Then there’s her dad. Obviously he’s not there. Why? Because like most Eurasians, our fathers were bottom of the barrel losers who couldn’t get white women, picked up a white worshipping Asian woman in order to pad their egos and take the easy way out of being celibate, and found out down the line that their mothers were vicious, petty people who used white men to increase their social status, to integrate into “superior white / European culture” with its beautiful accents and beautiful Parisian buildings and its afternoon tea culture, and more likely these men were incredibly racist against Asians and didn’t want the responsibility of raising a half Asian child.
White men and Asian women pairings are uniformly, and I mean uniformly, based on race and racism – the “submissive Asian woman” (submissive just means easy sex as long as you’re a white guy) and the White male. I am the son of a Chinese woman and a white man who fit this bill, and I’m not alone. There is a forum filled with thousands of us saying the same thing.
Look at the idealization of the Asian man as evidenced by the pictures on this young woman’s wall. She wants to return to Asia, to have an Asian man – a rejected Asian man – in her life in place of the sickness that her mother sought out, not giving a single FUCK about the emotional or mental wellbeing of her children.
Then there is the dressing and haircut to distance herself as far as possible from the Asian woman, the object of the father’s fetishization. Instead she seeks to replace the white male as sexual predator, the object of her intense hatred, with an Asian male – in herself. Seen it before. The product of an insane status climbing Chinese woman and an abusive, petty, and likely racist white male. If you think about how crazy the white man / Asian woman fetish dynamic is – wouldn’t you at least think that its effect on the children – having never been written about – would be HUGE?
White men and Asian women are breeding a new race of incredibly damaged, fucked up children.
And it is not our fault – we are Asian looking children born exclusively to white, racist fathers; delusional, egotistical and narcissistic Asian mothers who believe any white man is more valuable than any Asian man, and completely rejected from both sides while being told that we’re special, unique, and beautiful – even when we’re not.
Imagine if this girl was in fact a boy – what would his life be like?
Everyone on this website has been warned…. if you think about the intense fetishization and dynamics of White males / Asian women relationships, just think about the tremendous burden onto the children. Just think about it.
This is the top half-Asian website in the world. Deal with it.
I am a formerly well liked, handsome, outgoing, popular, Dartmouth educated Eurasian man – a literal brown haired, hazel eyed dream Hapa boy – born to a mentally ill, violent, Chinese mother who sought out marriage into the powered WASP class – but then realized too late that the man she married was an underemployed, emotionally damaged, meek, rapidly balding, hyper-racist, hyper-conservative conspiracy theorist male who was an “Asiaphile” who wanted a “traditional, chaste Asian wife who wouldn’t sleep with black men” – and she essentially killed herself. At around age 20 I encountered anti-Asian racism (ironically from Asian women in my own family and white “friends” who actually liked Asian women because they were easy) and due to inheriting my father’s entitlement to the world and being raised to be superior, I was unprepared to deal with it; I am emotionally unstable, self-loathing, deeply mentally disturbed, addicted, underemployed, have strong intimacy issues, and to this day still unable to undo the damage that the Eurasian myths and family’s racism did to me, and unable to form proper relationships due to my self-hatred instilled on me during the first 20 years of my life. Unlike other Eurasians who find self-esteem in underpaid modeling jobs, are gay, permavirgins, or leverage their half-whiteness to Asian women, my self-implosion has been broadcast to the world to the point that I am internet famous. I am not afraid to be as viciously honest as I need to be in order to speak on the reality of this world.
If you don’t think this website is valid – go to Reddit.com/r/hapas, which received 40 million views in 3 years, and 2 million views in the last month. Also – find half Asians with Asian fathers and compare their behavior to those with Asian mothers.
There are very specific issues with being the children of anti-feminist, racist, unattractive white men, and self hating Asian women who try as hard as they can to integrate and create white children, due to their hatred at their marginalization, and their hatred of their undefined facial features.
There are very specific issues pertinent to the “je ne sais quoi” of white men and Asian women, and the incredibly weird, unbalanced, uncomfortable, fetishized “dynamic” of “superior White man,” and “dainty, beautiful Asian woman.”
None of these apply to the children of Asian fathers. Almost every single part-Asian that people use to justify the superiority of Half Asians involves a Half Asian with an Asian father or grandfather (or both): Keanu Reeves, Dean Cain, Brandon Lee, and his father Bruce Lee. The reason why the sons and daughters of Asian men and white women fare better is simply because they are raised to not view whiteness as a superior entity; which both of my parents did, both of them being white supremacists.
Asian women specifically hate Asian men – and hope to create Eurasian children in order to raise their status; White men use Asian women as a means to get laid, provided that they are unable to do so with non-Asian women, whereby meaning that Eurasian childrens’ only value is to look as un-Asian as possible, meaning that Eurasian children are highly prone to mental illness, extremely racist parents, and broken homes. Failing to look attractive (our primary stereotype), means that many Half Asians just look Asian – which are essentially the bottom of the barrel in the racial hierarchy in the West. This also doesn’t take into account the extreme, cruel, controlling, demeaning, calculating nature of Asian women, where they explicitly hope their children look White, so that Asian women can feel “superior” in wresting the White woman’s status and power away from her at the side of the White man.
Asian women are the ONLY race that explicitly goes out of their way to attack men of Asian appearance in an attempt to integrate and raise their own value; they seem to pick lower status, unattractive white, and only white men, while Asian and Eurasian men will marry anyone, while Asian women only marry white males. Asian women will actually go out of their way to attack Eurasian men, as well, in a desperate attempt to bring Asian looking men down with them, and lower status, unattractive white men will use this as a ways to validate their whiteness – at the expense of anyone of Asian appearance, including Half Asian men. Asian women will attempt to control their Asian looking sons’ dating choices – pushing them towards Asian women; while white men who marry Asian women will act upon their insecurity and lack of control of their marriage, and lash out at Asian men, black men, and white women. Asian women are so unattractive that they pursue bottom of the barrel men of all races, men who are unable to get White women (their first choices), putting Half Asian children in danger. They will also go out of their way to ensure their flimsy “status,” my assaulting or attacking non-Asian women who are sympathetic to or even date Asian men, out of fear that the equal status of Asian men will reveal that Asian women are in fact not as good as they think they are.
Even Kip Fulbeck, king of all Hapas, admitted that the Hapa male process of self-hatred is such a problem, that it should be a cause for concern.
Imagine being raised by two racists – your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks very Asian. Except you have a white father. Is it possible to raise a healthy child considering the loaded, white-worshipping nature of yellow fever and white fever? How can a biracial child be expected to be normal if he looks Asian, and the entire basis of his parents’ relationship was that the man not be Asian? How can Asian women outmarry at such high rates, have an open ‘white fetish,’ and expect Asian looking sons to be emotionally well adjusted?
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall (6’3″, skinny), red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man. She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers. She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” She did not and never did love my father, and only used him because he was white; their entire marriage was violent, loveless (father sleeping on the floor for fifteen years), and calculating.
This man (a semi-famous paleoconservative Homophobic activist on par with the Westboro Baptist Church) was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white or non-Asian woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is very socially conservative, very racist against blacks, Hispanics and Muslims, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely over the top homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely distasteful of feminism, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture). His interest in Asian culture was largely dictated by his personality – in which he idealized Asian cultures as being more honorable and traditional, and mistook “white worship” (a cultural tick in which Asian women see themselves as less beautiful than white women and marry white men for status and integration), for “traditionalism” and “submissiveness.”
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism (America), saw Asian women (including five out of six of them in my own family, all of them, including my own parents divorced or separated – my mother being dead) throw themselves at white men (the majority of whom are racists, Republicans, or short and or meek), and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. I subconsciously always believed myself to be “less” because my own mother and her sisters all were married to white men and adamantly denied I was Asian for a decade.
My parents’ relationship, as was the case in every single one of my female relatives, was loveless, violent and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years as he failed to make enough money, and grew balder and fatter and no longer lived up to the White male Prince Charming she had wanted (separate bedrooms, forced to sleep on the couch, extreme violent fighting). The thousands of stories of Asian mothers taking their children back to Asia after finding out that America and the West are far from what she thought they were (run-down, poor, and racist) – and marriage to a weird, unconfident fetishist was less than what she expected – represent a commonality among Asian women. My brother and I suffered extreme psychological and physical abuse (beaten with coat hangers by our mother, Tiger Mommed, had her threaten to kill herself with a butcher knife in front of us, threatened to crash the car with us in it while driving at 90 mph), and her behavior became worse and worse as she realized that her white husband wasn’t making as much money as her brother and sister, who both married Chinese partners. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
The behavior of Asian women, in particular, is like nothing else on earth, to the point that you can see the majority of all stories about abusive parents on Reddit’s AsianParentStories sub – complain about the mothers, including the second generation Asian mothers – like Amy Chua – who metamorphosize into the Tiger Mothers that they hate, despite claiming to hate Asian men. Celeste Ng, a New York Times best-selling author, personally attacked me, after I pointed out that her book “Everything I Never Told You” was based on the broken WMAF families in her friends’ circle, yet she had written it about a family involving an Asian father. Asian women have proven themselves to be extremely hostile against non-Asian women, something out of their deep self-loathing and cultural proclivity towards integration and status, wherein love is secondary if not nonexistent in favor of maintaining status, face, and power over women who they view, deep down, as more beautiful than them. They will even go so far as to attack Asian male / non-Asian female couples, and force their Eurasian children (like me) to marry Asian, in an attempt to maintain an image of false superiority over non-Asian women; (e.g., that Asian women are the most beautiful, when they are not, and heavily rely on yellow fever and male desperation for their feeling of integration and desirability).
When I got older, despite the fact that society told me that I was “unique” for being Eurasian, I was treated with contempt by both white people AND Asian people; Asian women would often express disgust at me for being Asian (scowling at me on the street, or smirking), and white people would constantly remind me that I was Asian in a way to demean and undermine me. Several of my “friends,” who were engineers and nerdy, actually would take every opportunity to remind me of my Asianness, while sleeping with Asian women, as Asian women were all they could get. This caused me to self implode from a popular, outgoing Eurasian to becoming a recluse and suicidal. My insanity grew more and more pervasive as I fantasized about cutting out my eyes to make them deeper, refused to look in the mirror for five years,
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage who clearly looks Asian, born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her. I am highly educated, formerly well liked, popular, handsome, out going and like many Eurasians I burned out in my twenties with the realization that people, even Asian women in my Asian family,hate my Asian side,so now I’ve turned my talents towards exposing the last bastion of White supremacy in the world as candidly as I can. I am literally dissectingWhite male / Asian women couples and the Eurasian identity to a degree that nobody else ever has.
I actually moved to China (which saved my life) in order to escape racism and feelings of inferiority – and was shocked on learning that my own mother (and many other Chinese) had moved to America in order to find the American dream – a dream that hated me for my Asian blood.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went. Hapa males in particular need special consideration due to the fact that we have zero privilege, and yet are raised by two people who want privilege without having to do any of the work.
I am doing this for every single half-Asian kid out there who has committed suicide, thought about suicide, suffered from racism, isolation, outcasting, and had two parents whose entire relationship was nothing but lust, selfishness, even hatred – leaving us with nothing but perpetual isolation. The world does not care about Hapa males if you look average or even a little bit Asian. The world – even Asian women, who truly believe that they are white – only care about whiteness and white men.
Most Eurasians just look Asian. At best they will look like good looking Asian men, but usually look average.
Most women don’t want any Asian blood at all (I’ve been shot down for being Asian three times – despite being tall, good looking, and popular, and this was enough to destroy me forever).
Asian women think tall blond white men are better, so that means white men are better than Eurasians.
People who hate Asian men – including most women – don’t distinguish between half and full. We are still chinks, inferior to the white men they wanted.
Asian women marry white men for social access – i.e., to higher society, access to European spaces, but we, their half Asian sons, are severely limited from those same spaces due to racial insults, disparaging remarks and open discrimination
You’re literally asking your own son to take pride in the fact that he looks Asian… but his own mother and all her friends and literally all but a few women around him don’t want Asian men? Really? Are you really asking us to do that?
Even more telling is that 90% of all half Asian people have white dads and Asian moms and we’re supposed to not notice this somehow – we’re not allowed to talk about it despite the fact that no matter where we go – there are Asian women openly preferring white men – meaning that half Asian blood is essentially worthless.
“Chicks dig mixed guys,” is what I hear a lot. How come whenever a Eurasian says this he’s twenty years old, a permanent virgin, and has no experience with women at all? Chicks dig white looking mixed guys. They don’t dig Asian looks at all. Stop lying about this.
Why is it that everywhere I go I see White male / Asian woman couples?
Why are Eurasian offspring expected not to notice that almost all of our fathers are white?
Why can’t I grow a full beard? Why is my hair black and my eyes brown?
Why do I still have comments made towards me of how “Asian I look?”
Why is it that society and commenters here talk about Eurasian beauty yet I still lack the ease of access, to jobs, to girlfriends, that my 6’2″ white male friends with facial hair have?
Why should I be proud of being Asian at all? Why should I be proud to be Eurasian when this just means that my father injected me with white DNA – like a mulatto slave who is treated like absolute shit, looked down on, despite having a white parent?
Why don’t I just try to be white – since my mom sought after a white man, in a white country, to speak a white language, to get a white passport, to gain white citizenship, what’s the point in being Eurasian? Why not just white?
Why should I be proud, as a Eurasian, of having a white father, especially when white men gloat around the world about how white men “own” Asian women?
Why should I be proud to be a Eurasian when all this really means is that white men are better than Asian men – no matter how you try to spin it?
Why should I be proud to be Eurasian when Asian women around the world throw themselves like cheap floozies at white men – yet I’ve faced such extreme racism in my life, being called a small dick chink, that “I don’t like Asian guys”, that, “I only like white guys,” and I just have to constantly remind myself that my father was white, just like every other Eurasian?
Why should I aspire to be anything when this would just be proving to the world that Asian women are right in chasing white men? Why should I aspire to be a successful Eurasian when this just means that Asian women are correct in having white fetishes and that their mixed-race children are magical?