If Asian women are world-famous for having "white fever" and hating Asian men, what happens when they have a son who looks Asian? What happens when Asian women say "no Asian men," and Half Asian sons hear the same? I happen. This is the blog of a Dartmouth educated Eurasian son of a racist, Nazi-sympathizing, Holocaust denying, homophobic conservative, underemployed, conspiracy theorist white man and a Hong Kong woman who had "white fever," documenting the immense damage and abuse done over 20 years of living under one of the most hateful, racist pairings on Earth. Former Neo-Nazi, former extreme racist, and yes, half Asian.
If you know of a half Asian kid growing up in the middle of Arkansas or New Hampshire, keep an eye on him; even, feel sorry for him. Trust me on this. I’ve been through it. Been through the rejection for my Asian blood – even though I didn’t think I was Asian. The anger at my black hair. The anger at my Asian features.
Imagine this: Asian women are known for “worshipping” white males, they are known for hating and laughing at Asian guys, Asian guys are seen as weak bitches with small penises, society hates you and constantly torments you for being a weak bitch with a small penis – and then these racist white men and Asian women (who hate Asian men even more) give birth to Asian looking sons…. with white fathers?
Even worse is these white daddies tell their sons “it’s all in your head, take responsibility for your actions” when their sons get humiliated at school, rejected by women; they raise them in uniformly white areas, with no biracial or Asian friends. Their mothers, being privileged as hell because white America / Europe loves Asian women, can’t possibly fathom that her totally Asian looking son has issues – nor does she care.
Half Asians are the ONLY group of non-white people being raised exclusively by White fathers – so while their mothers think that “they are white” because white men treat Asian women like they are white, the children are not. Everything these children will do in the future will reflect the fact that Asian woman explicitly support the idea that whiteness is superior to Asianness.
Just let that sink in for a minute.
Asian women – who by all extents are highly valued by white men for their perceived submissiveness to whiteness – literally dream of pairing up with “superior” white men, raise them in an environment that hates Asians, and then their kids look totally Asian. Does that make sense?
The United States Health Department itself released data almost 13 years ago stating that mixed-race Asians (I’m guessing the vast majority have Asian mothers) are around ~84% more likely to commit suicide than mono-racials of any group.
Oh, b-b-b-b-ut my son won’t be like that! I’m a good father! My son will have high self esteem since I’m an expert on looking like an Asian male!
Here’s more for you. These are actual peer reviewed, funded studies backing up everything I say on this website.
The reason why Eurasians are at high risk for suicide?
White, privileged fathers unable to properly guide children in navigating a white supremacist society (let’s face it – even racists know that white supremacy is real)
The half-Asian son / daughter still looks Asian but faces discrimination from society and has no outlet for it
Racial bullying… uncaring parents (the Asian mother has high sex value in society, essentially she gets her white partner, the privilege that comes with it, and doesn’t want to be stressed at her own son’s lack of it)
The entitled Asian mother used her vagina to her advantage in getting a white partner to raise her stature or survive, with zero concern for how this reflects on the child, who is constantly reminded that he’s Asian and that “of course [his] mother is the Asian one.”
The half-Asian son looks Asian, and is repeatedly reminded that he is inferior to full whites by his own mother
Sociopathic Tiger Mom who belittles Asian blood and submissively plays up whiteness
Callous parenting by both parties, telling their children to “suck it up.”
Insane degree of fetishization, white worship, Asian-inferiority, race-playism, sexualized racism (i.e., Oriental vagina, white dominant penis) affecting the mindset of the child… the male child becomes the enemy of the parents, either reminding the privileged mother of her Asian blood, or of the men she feels superior to, or the daughter being mistaken for the father’s girlfriend.
Self hatred; i.e., the child wishes they were white for simplicity or convenience purposes
The reality is that most half Asians look totally Asian enough to realize that they’re disadvantaged. If your son looks EVEN A LITTLE BIT ASIAN, he is going to be treated like shit by society, and turned down by women, and reminded that his own mother had a fetish for white males. Even if he doesn’t look Asian he’s still going to suffer immense emotional distress growing up under a fetish couple. Society doesn’t see halves – they will seek to humiliate and denigrate your son for his Asian blood as long as he is alive.
So for Ms. I Only Do White Guys, pray that you have a daughter. I really mean it. Or pray that I give up after a couple years instead of making this a lifelong endeavor. I spent the last twenty years in hell, twenty more is nothing to me.
After these women have kids they start trying to teach their kids to be proud to be Asian, even though these kids are going to face the same shit from the younger versions of their Asian moms. Even worse is your sweet little Hapa baby boy is growing to grow up, hit his teens, and see Asian girls around him throwing themselves at white guys – and then you’re going to tell him that you’re different. He’ll try to ignore this website for some ten years, work on his personality, his career, everything else – but the day will come when he realizes that yes, his mom was one of those women, and no, looking like an Asian male is a death sentence.
So this is for all you young Eurasians out there: your mother is one of those women. She was one of those women and is now.
Understand exactly what she is and treat her as such.
As for Asian women, read it and weep – you know it’s true. You don’t have kids? Oh, then, just remember these words when the day comes that you decide that you and that nice white boy you’ve been seeing are ready to have kids.
I am a formerly well liked, handsome, outgoing, popular, Dartmouth educated Eurasian man – a literal brown haired, hazel eyed dream Hapa boy – born to a Chinese mother who sought out marriage into the powered WASP class – but then realized too late that the man she married was an underemployed, emotionally damaged, meek, rapidly balding, hyper-racist, hyper-conservative conspiracy theorist male who was an “Asiaphile” – and she essentially killed herself. At around age 20 I encountered anti-Asian racism (ironically from Asian women in my own family and white “friends” who actually liked Asian women because they were easy) and due to inheriting my father’s entitlement to the world and being raised to be superior, I was unprepared to deal with it; I am emotionally unstable, self-loathing, deeply mentally disturbed, addicted, underemployed, have strong intimacy issues, and to this day still unable to undo the damage that the Eurasian myths and family’s racism did to me, and unable to form proper relationships due to my self-hatred instilled on me during the first 20 years of my life. Unlike other Eurasians who find self-esteem in underpaid modeling jobs, are gay, permavirgins, or leverage their half-whiteness to Asian women, my self-implosion has been broadcast to the world to the point that I am internet famous. I am not afraid to be as viciously honest as I need to be in order to speak on the reality of this world.
If you don’t think this website is valid – go to Reddit.com/r/hapas, which received 11 million views in 2 years, and 2 million views in the last two months. Also – find half Asians with Asian fathers and compare their behavior to those with Asian mothers.
There are very specific issues with being the children of anti-feminist, racist, unattractive white men, and self hating Asian women. None of these apply to the children of Asian fathers.
Even Kip Fulbeck, king of all Hapas, admitted that the Hapa male process of self-hatred is such a problem, that it should be a cause for concern.
Imagine being raised by two racists – your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks very Asian. Except you have a white father. Is it possible to raise a healthy child considering the loaded, white-worshipping nature of yellow fever and white fever? How can a biracial child be expected to be normal if he looks Asian, and the entire basis of his parents’ relationship was that the man not be Asian? How can Asian women outmarry at such high rates, have an open ‘white fetish,’ and expect Asian looking sons to be emotionally well adjusted?
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall (6’3″, skinny), red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man. She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers. She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” She did not and never did love my father, and only used him because he was white; their entire marriage was violent, loveless (father sleeping on the floor for fifteen years), and calculating.
This man (a semi-famous paleoconservative Homophobic activist on par with the Westboro Baptist Church) was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white or non-Asian woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is very socially conservative, very racist against blacks, Hispanics and Muslims, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely over the top homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely distasteful of feminism, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture). His interest in Asian culture was largely dictated by his personality – in which he idealized Asian cultures as being more honorable and traditional, and mistook “white worship” (a cultural tick in which Asian women see themselves as less beautiful than white women and marry white men for status and integration), for “traditionalism” and “submissiveness.”
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism (America), saw Asian women (including five out of six of them in my own family) throw themselves at white men (the majority of whom are racists, Republicans, or short and or meek), and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. I subconsciously always believed myself to be “less” because my own mother and her sisters all were married to white men and adamantly denied I was Asian for a decade.
My parents’ relationship, as was the case in every single one of my female relatives, was loveless, violent and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years as he failed to make enough money, and grew balder and fatter and no longer lived up to the White male Prince Charming she had wanted (separate bedrooms, forced to sleep on the couch, extreme violent fighting). My brother and I suffered extreme psychological and physical abuse (beaten with coat hangers by our mother, Tiger Mommed, had her threaten to kill herself with a butcher knife in front of us, threatened to crash the car with us in it while driving at 90 mph), and her behavior became worse and worse as she realized that her white husband wasn’t making as much money as her brother and sister, who both married Chinese partners. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
The behavior of Asian women, in particular, is like nothing else on earth, to the point that you can see the majority of all stories about abusive parents on Reddit’s AsianParentStories sub – complain about the mothers, including the second generation Asian mothers – like Amy Chua – who metamorphosize into the Tiger Mothers that they hate.
When I got older, despite the fact that society told me that I was “unique” for being Eurasian, I was treated with contempt by both white people AND Asian people; Asian women would often express disgust at me for being Asian (scowling at me on the street, or smirking), and white people would constantly remind me that I was Asian in a way to demean and undermine me. Several of my “friends,” who were engineers and nerdy, actually would take every opportunity to remind me of my Asianness, while sleeping with Asian women, as Asian women were all they could get. This caused me to self implode from a popular, outgoing Eurasian to becoming a recluse and suicidal. My insanity grew more and more pervasive as I fantasized about cutting out my eyes to make them deeper, refused to look in the mirror for five years,
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage who clearly looks Asian, born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her. I am highly educated, formerly well liked, popular, handsome, out going and like many Eurasians I burned out in my twenties with the realization that people, even Asian women in my Asian family,hate my Asian side,so now I’ve turned my talents towards exposing the last bastion of White supremacy in the world as candidly as I can. I am literally dissectingWhite male / Asian women couples and the Eurasian identity to a degree that nobody else ever has.
I actually moved to China (which saved my life) in order to escape racism and feelings of inferiority – and was shocked on learning that my own mother (and many other Chinese) had moved to America in order to find the American dream – a dream that hated me for my Asian blood.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went. Hapa males in particular need special consideration due to the fact that we have zero privilege, and yet are raised by two people who want privilege without having to do any of the work.
I am doing this for every single half-Asian kid out there who has committed suicide, thought about suicide, suffered from racism, isolation, outcasting, and had two parents whose entire relationship was nothing but lust, selfishness, even hatred – leaving us with nothing but perpetual isolation. The world does not care about Hapa males if you look average or even a little bit Asian. The world – even Asian women, who truly believe that they are white – only care about whiteness and white men.
Do you want to understand Asian people? Then go right to their source: their own children, and since so many of the modern incarnations of Asian people in the west are multiracial, let me explain what we have to go through.
Literally, go seek out any mixed family and see how the mother suddenly tries to push her kids into Asian activities (I was pushed into learning Mandarin, doing Kumon, Taekwondo), see how her toddlers openly express disdain for anything Asian, look at how the mothers all seem to hyphenate their names in a last minute push to reclaim Asian identities, yet the fathers all look the same. The majority of our fathers are white.
If you don’t believe me: just leave your house and see for yourself.
The entire thing is largely an exercise in irony.
Let me explain. Do you recall the philosophical statement made on the first season of True Detective? That “time is a flat circle?” I don’t recall the actual origin of the statement but we’ll work with that.
Asian women, in the present, actively create a miserable environment for Asian men, and make it so that identifying as Asian is essentially romantic and social suicide. Literally ask any Asian woman about this and she will admit to have attempted to cause as much pain as possible to an Asian man in her youth through her words and actions.
She will claim it is about feminism, yet any deep digging and pressure will reveal something that they themselves – and only themselves – know behind closed doors – that they are simply not attracted to Asian men, they fetishize white features (tall noses, and light colored eyes) or worse, that they inherently recognize that white men provide a better chance at societal acceptance. (The last part, i.e., about social acceptance, I have noticed after moving to Asia and realizing that the majority of Asian women actually do not date white men because of their low social standing here; hence feminism has nothing to do with it, as any intelligent woman would recognize that there are good and bad within each race).
The feminism part comes as a convenient way to dispel criticism for their non-attraction to Asian men, wherein it is easier to blame Asian men for being bitter; but any group would be bitter if they were told they were essentially genetically, romantically, socially worthless.
When an Asian woman gets older and has a child (like Deanna Fei), the majority of the time the child will endure racism. She will try to teach the child to be proud of his or her heritage, all the while doing this surrounded by Asian women also married to white men.
These white men are completely unable to understand why a half Asian child would be romantically and socially spurned by men and women alike; after all, it never occurred to him that his partner was with him specifically because he was white, and even if he did, he was getting laid.
So in actuality unmarried Asian women in the present create an environment hostile to their half Asian children in the future – all the while passively attempting to claim ownership of hapas. Time is a flat circle; all events happen at once.
The irony is immense. Just incredibly, incredibly immense.
All of my Chinese New Year events growing up were filled with white men looming over their Asian wives and girlfriends… And yet I was supposed to have developed a subconscious appreciation for my Asian side? Is this why I cut my hair short for years to avoid its black texture and color from coming out?
If anything Asian mothers have no right to tell their children that they feel guilty about us not wanting to embrace our Asian side. These mothers created the atmosphere – in their past and present – that deliberately penalized Asian blood.
What’s even worse is that being Eurasian is actually so emotionally and psychologically traumatizing for so many different reasons that even I can’t understand (being subconsciously castrated is one, wanting badly to be white but failing is another), that…
When Eurasians do act out in horrible ways, it’s not our white side that gets blamed. It’s our Asian side! Despite Asian men having almost zero bearing in our real lives; aside from my uncles who I saw once a year at Chinese New Year, I was raised entirely by my white father.
So even then, even in our darkest hour, our own collective motherhood is against us. And they know this is true, and like anyone else, they attempt to control the discussion, justify their actions while minimizing any blame and responsibility for creating an atmosphere (so, so, so many Asian women act like this) wherein their own sons are confused, don’t know why their confused – all because their mothers could not admit they were simply more attracted to white men.
Just imagine the sense of betrayal looking Asian and seeing Asian women like your mother reject people who look like you en masse. It no longer has to do with feminism – it has to do with open 1960’s style racism and then being told by them that “we are not entitled to love, life, or happiness.” Even black, Latina, and other minority women are fully aware of this – hence the divide between Asian feminists and other feminist groups.
We don’t have any books to help us, we don’t have any outlet other than saying; oh, well, yeah, then I guess Asian men are really undesirable, so then, I’d better identify as white as I can, or spend the rest of my life lonely, and since feminists say that I am not entitled to anything – well, certainly that must be true; I am worthless.
It’s much worse than being a tragic mulatto. It’s ten times worse, and eventually the chickens will come home to roost.
For my readers: please try to understand the horror of being a half Asian born into a pairing that is deeply, deeply, unfathomably racist at its core, and yet trying to navigate this without going berserk somewhere down the line. And even if it’s not racist, it’s at best a biological paradox where Asian women despise the thought of touching an Asian male physically – and yet their own sons are half-Asian and supposed to accept this.
It’s essentially biological slavery.
It’s a scheme. A very, very vicious scheme that only the most depraved Asian women would allow to exist.
With that being said, there are plenty of aware Asian women out there who understand this basic principal. The problem is that they’re not the ones having Hapa kids by the millions.
The minute that anyone can tell me how an Asian looking Hapa who watches his own mother throw herself at non-Asian men can develop into a well rounded individual – let me know.
But I’ve heard through the grapevine about some “well adjusted Hapas.”
I’ve heard this a lot, but anyone who has ever known adult Hapas realize that many of us have severe problems.
I’d chalk this up to any number of things, one largely being the Tiger Mom, one being that ones own mother is a sociopath who rewarded white supremacy, one being that ones own father deliberately attempted to exert dominance over Asianness – i.e., children being raised by “raceplayers” (such as, white men who get off on sexual dominance over Asian women, just look up and Asian raceplay blog), one being the inability of the white father to correctly parent the half-Asian son (my father treating me essentially as a white child, never exposing me to Asian media), one being that due to the whole scale behavior of Asian women, identifying as Asian is largely a practice in masochism.
But by and large the issue is of looks.
If you meet a well adjusted “Hapa” – six out of ten times he will look almost completely white. And even then – like in the case of Daniel Holtzclaw or Elliot Rodger – the issues still linger. Three out of ten times, he won’t admit it, despite being an extremely passive aggressive type, emotionally unstable, perpetually single, and unwilling to badmouth his parents. One out of ten times the guy will be gay – either openly, but more likely, in the closet, out of fear of offending his conservative parents.
I came close to looking white, very white. But more than enough times I’ve been told that I look Asian, that I have an “Asian vibe,” that girls “don’t date Asians.” And my brother – who looks full blown Asian – is 32, a virgin, but luckily too steeped in filial piety and his own mental illness that he would never even bother to question these things and is likely going to wind up dying without a kiss.
But more so, when I was between 18-24 or so, I passed as white. I passed as 100% white – people largely thought I was Russian except for the discerning types, who made a point to call me out on my Asian heritage in an attempt to belittle me. And that was when I realized that being Hapa wasn’t something to be proud of.
Being Hapa was never something to be proud of. It was largely a lie pushed onto us by hateful Asian women who sought out white men for integration, assimilation, money, status, or whiter kids; they put no thought into it other than slapping it with a general label of “beautiful Hapas” and gave us no roadmap at all for navigating a racist world – one that Asian women were themselves complicit in.
Frankly – if you look white, why would you even bother identifying as Asian unless you absolutely had to? Not only is there a monumental stigma against Asian males in any Western countries, but you would subject yourself to repeated comments from both men and women alike regarding your heritage. And no white-passing Hapa would ever be able to stomach full blown anti-Asian racism directed at them. At other Asians, sure, but not at them.
One of the most offensive things to me is when non-Asians make comments about Asian people assuming that I won’t care. Such as:
“I don’t go to that library, there are way too many Asians in there.”
“So and so friend (who is Asian) blends right in here,” (when walking through Chinatown).
“Yeah, Asians are known for running cash-only scams and skimming to avoid tax.” (Maybe true but who gives a shit?)
The vast, vast, vast majority of time when you encounter a Hapa with problematic issues – he will look Asian. Are there Asian looking Hapas who are well adjusted? I’m sure there are, too, but I’m betting my bottom dollar still waters run deep.
This isn’t an opinion. I’m asking my readers to go out and actually meet these people because I know they exist.
And when there is a Hapa who stands up and says that people like me are lunatics – I am right here telling him, as a person who could pass as white without enough concerted effort – that they’re only behaving that way (i.e., “carefree”) because they have no experience being treated like an Asian.
Apparently with the way I look I am treated as Asian by only the most discerning – but that’s what counts. Even a little bit of Asian blood is enough to earn the hatred of people who care enough to make the distinction. Even Asian women have done this to me.
So “white passing” happy-go-lucky Hapas who try to deny these issues, yet probably are the most arrogant little friendless shitheads in real life, or are so deeply damaged at a core level yet whose egotism doesn’t allow them to admit it, or are closeted homosexuals, or are passive aggressive little pricks who balk at the idea of being called Asian, or those obsessive types who just love comparing themselves to Keanu Reeves, and never any other celebrity – don’t take their word seriously.
How would they know?
Want to know just how right I am? Next time you meet a Hapa, just tell him to his face that he looks full Asian and watch his reaction.
Most of the time Asian women marry white men because they don’t like Asian men and have a physical preference for white men. Asian women also dislike being associated with the Asian “gilded Ghetto” monolith, and want to feel “included” into the majority culture – so they marry white men at rates unmatched by any other ethnic group.
There is no other race on earth that has this ingrained hatred of Asianness and their own men. Literally none.
Half Asian men resemble Asian men, 80-90% of the time.
In fact the majority of people don’t like Asian men.
Admit it: your wife / girlfriend is with you because she does not like Asian men. She is only attracted to tall white men.
They will say it’s because of behavior / feminism, but Asian male behavior (jealousy) is because Asian women don’t like the way Asian men look. Ask any Asian woman married to a white man and she’ll just say:
“I’m just not attracted to them.”
Asian women don’t like Asian men for the same reason MOST white women don’t like Asian men. They are Asian.
A half Asian son realizes this. He realizes that he is Asian too. It doesn’t matter how good looking he is, how talented, how intelligent – he will endure a lifetime of hearing “of course your mother is the Asian one,” and being perpetually second class in non-Asian society. He will endure jokes, endure racism, discrimination from society, see hundreds thousands of Asian women a year paired up with white men, face discrimination in dating, in work – and…
…his own parents will oftentimes be extremely racist against Asian men as well – yet he looks like an Asian guy.
Keep in mind, that Asian women are so world famous for hating their own men – that the men who like Asian women and want to be seen with one in public, are almost uniformly terrible people: racists, Neo-Nazis, White Nationalists, MRAs, MGTOWS, autists, abusive people – like my father.
In fact – it could be said, that unbeknownst to most whites, Asian women can be so extremely racist and pro-white and so “famously easy” for White men – that they tend to attract the worst white males.
So half Asians not only look Asian, but come from extremely hateful homes.
Along with the millions of Asian women around him disliking Asian men, his own mother does too.Every single Eurasian person with eyes looks around him and sees how Asian women act around white men, fawning, complimenting – and Asian mothers expect us to not notice.Can we please just drop the charade and admit this is true?
How are half Asians supposed to somehow not notice that Asian women openly favor white men, that these couples are extremely narcissistic and have insanely eugenicist beliefs about their own children, and yet develop emotionally healthy?
If he looks Asian, then, well. Welcome to a life of bullying, confusion, resentment, depression, rejection from both sides, and perpetual low self esteem seeing Asian women like his mother paired up millions of times over with white men – yet he looks Asian.
He will be asked to take pride in the fact that his, and all his friends’ fathers are white, and asked to deal with the stereotypes of White men / Asian women and unable to distinguish between good and bad couplings. He will try to take pride in looking Asian but realizes that nobody, not his friends, not women, not his own mother, wants anything to do with an Asian male. He will be born into an anti-Asian society, look Asian, and recognize that even his own mother valued white men over him. It is the ultimate betrayal.
Asian women and white men will promise up and down that their sons are superior – largely because they have to make sure that their children truly believe they are superior in order to cover up for one of the most unbalanced interracial pairings – yet whites still view half-Asians as inferior.
I’m sorry. Please, please, please stop lying about this.
“But half Asian babies are cute.”
And half Asian babies become Asian men when they grow up. In fact most Asian women can’t tell the difference between a fully grown Asian male and a half Asian male. Sometimes half Asian men grow up to look Latino or Middle Eastern or in some cases Central Asian – which makes Asian women hate the children of other Asian women, for simply not being white.
“Half Asian men are hot.”
They’re not all hot, and people won’t care that they’re half. Besides, you believed white men hottest. You turned down hot Asian men for white men, so why would anyone want a hot half Asian man?
“I know hot half Asian men.”
Nope. You know men who pass as white. When you figure out how to guarantee your son is 6’3″, let me know. And after all, you wanted a white man, not a half Asian man. Either that, or you know the son of an Asian male and a white woman.
“I know Asian men with white girlfriends.”
You know one or two, while you know five times as many Asian women with white boyfriends.
It’s a yes or no question. Does your loved one hate Asian men? Yes, or no.
Will you son be Asian? Yes or no. Simple question.